


darkness of the soul

by northernxstories



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Slavery, Auction, Breeding, Corporal Punishment, Dubious Consent, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Lactation, Lactation Kink, M/M, Master/Slave, Medical Experimentation, Medical Torture, Medical Trauma, Multi, Punishment, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rebellion, Sexual Content, Sexual Slavery, Slavery, Spanking, Sterilization
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:47:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 75,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28695696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northernxstories/pseuds/northernxstories
Summary: Welcome to my twisted tale of torture, slavery, lust and love. Features many dark elements, smut and angst, with a dash of fluff for good measure.Please heed the trigger warnings.Updates posted every Wednesday and Sunday.
Relationships: Anya/Bellamy Blake, Anya/Bellamy Blake/Echo, Anya/Echo (The 100), Bellamy Blake/Echo, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Emori/Raven Reyes, Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, Gustus/John Murphy (The 100), Gustus/Raven Reyes, Ilian/Eric Jackson, Ilian/Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, Ilian/Nathan Miller, John Murphy/Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake/Lincoln, gustus/emori
Comments: 73
Kudos: 81





	1. Going ... Going ... Going ... Gone!

**_“dreams became the devil's own accomplices”_ **

**_Emori_**

“Don’t move. Trust me. This is not the moment.” The man’s voice was gruff and cold accompanied by the tap of his finger against the syringe. Emori forced herself to stillness, not that her bindings allowed for much movement. Her hands were pinned above her head and her feet pressed against the footboard in an effort to keep her hips from moving. The needle pierced the sensitive skin of her clit and the rush of chilled fluid cruelly tantalized every nerve ending. She screamed despite herself and she could hear John shouting from the next room over. The needle finally withdrew and she gasped, a sob lifting her shoulders as the hand then smoothed a thin blanket over her nude body.

“John.” Emori whispered, a soft and desperate plea. The man, called Roan, laughed low and without humour. According to some bitter aside by one of the guards, he delighted in breaking the new additions personally. Emori clung to every snippet of information she overheard but this particular piece brought her no comfort. She had seen him with the rest of their group after their arrival and he had seemed affable. The others liked him, but she had never warmed up to him, as she didn’t like the way he looked at her.She could see the word, _freikdreina_ , in his eyes every time. He didn’t know the word as Trig was not spoken in this world but it was the same look, no matter which world they were on. She had simply thought him false and insincere, though she would learn his true nature was much worse than she feared.

She wasn’t sure where anyone was exactly. She could hear John’s voice so she knew he was in one of the neighbouring rooms. The bed was soft under her back but the restraints made it impossible for her to do much. Every few hours, Roan returned with another needle. Each breast had been tormented, making her nipples burn and yet feel heavy all at the same time. This time her sex had been the subject of his attentions. She prayed this wasn’t happening to the others, hoped it would only be her. They could save her and they would run away from this new world full of unknown dangers and unfathomable cruelties.

**_Bellamy_**

“Where is everyone?” Bellamy demanded gruffly. His body ached, and he did not want to reflect on the degradations that had occurred since arriving at Sanctum. When they had first landed, the planet had been so beautiful that he was entranced. They were the initial search party that had landed on the ground, each of them amazed by everything they were seeing. Murphy braved the water and dragged Emori with him. They had splashed and swam, setting everyone to laughter. He, Jackson, Miller, Clarke, Octavia, Raven and Echo made up the remainder of the party. The walk toward the central building they could see in the distance had been long but stunning. It looked like a shimmering castle and was unlike anything Bellamy had seen in his lifetime or even in a picture. They had been unsure what or who would greet them on arrival. The first person they saw was a little girl, who couldn’t have been more than five years old. Running over, she had folded her hand around Jackson’s and led them all to the main building yelling, “Papa, Papa … look what I found.”

It broke the ice and made everyone laugh. Roan appeared and welcomed them all graciously. They were asked to check their weapons and while it had been a challenge for them to part with them, it appeared no one carried weapons here. It was a risk and they had taken it. Not that they could have protected themselves anyway. They had been here for weeks when the evening meal had been drugged. It was humiliating to know that they were completely taken by surprise. Raven had fallen ill first, collapsing into Emori’s arms and nearly knocking the other woman to the ground in the process. Bellamy rose to his feet to help and found himself sinking to his knees desperately trying to keep himself upright as the guards loomed into view. The darkness swam into his vision as he collapsed to the ground.

“Lay down, Bellamy.” The orders were crisp. To his humiliation, Bellamy let out a soft whimper but still he followed the instructions. Raising his cuffed hands above his head, the locks clicked into place and he was tied to the headboard. As long as he was obedient, they did not bind his feet. It was impossible to hold completely still but he had to try. He felt the hands at the waistband of the loose trousers he was wearing. They were soft and comfortable but you could see through them easily so the protection and dignity they offered was flimsy at best. Tears pricked at the corners as he felt that cold needle pierce the skin of his cock again. He clung to anger as it was easier to bear than the desire to weep.

“Just answer my damn question. Where are they?” Bellamy growled out in exasperation. No reply came. Instead the man showed him the plug they intended to insert. Bellamy had already learned that fighting this would only result in more pain but still he had to suppress the desire to scream and rage as he shifted his body enough to give them the ease of access they were seeking. He was breathing heavily by the time they were done, his cock hard against his thigh. If he had his timing down, tomorrow they would come in again and milk his prostate. He swore that this humiliating exercise was solely designed to degrade him all the further. The door closed and he was left alone, again, in the dark.

**_Raven_**

Raven was woken by the sensation of the needle breaking the skin of her breast and her eyes flew open as she cried out. The _“treatments”_ as they were called were cruel but consistent, focusing primarily on her sex organs. She wondered if the others were experiencing the same thing. She tried to call out to them but heard no response. Finally she fell silent, not wanting to give her captors the satisfaction of seeing her break. Some days, though, she came closer than she liked to admit.

She had lost track of time. Initially there was a consistent routine but now, she honestly could not say how many weeks had passed. Her breasts were full and heavy, leaking milk. Twice a day, she had to make herself sit at the pump stationed in the corner of the room in order to release the pressure. Her clit was so engorged due to the cruel _treatments_ that if she walked too quickly, she would drive herself to orgasm. One time they had found her rutting against the bedpost and her shame had been overwhelming. They seemed pleased to see her playing with herself for their amusement, even while she felt like an animal in a cage. 

To think she had been so thrilled to find and create a new settlement on this gorgeous world. These people had initially seemed so kind and welcoming. How could they do this to her? Her chest ached as her body was unaccustomed to the additional weight of her lactating breasts. On the upside, they had done something to her joint that allowed her hip to move more freely and with less pain. 

She felt Roan’s hand on her cheek, turning her head toward him, “I thought about keeping you but with your production, I’m going to get an excellent price for you. I already have some pre-bids.” It was the first snippet of information she had received and she latched onto it quickly, “Auction? So you are selling us? Wait! Are we slaves? What about the people on the ship? I am the only pilot here. I need to go! They need me!” She exclaimed. 

They just laughed and she heard the clink of the vials clattering together as they gathered their materials. “No wait. Please. Tell me what you are doing. Please!” she shouted, growing increasingly desperate. The door shut and its lock clicked into place. The cuffs released from the headboard automatically as they appeared to be set on some sort of timer. Raven folded in on herself, cupping her tender breasts as she did so. Why? Oh god, why?

**_Murphy_**

Murphy could hear Emori scream. Every day, she screamed and every day, it was a knife in his heart. He had tried everything he could think of to acquire the information he needed. Fighting them had earned him nothing but more pain so right now he was offering submission to their will. They didn’t even have to bind him any longer. He stood still, tears leaking down his cheeks uncontrollably as the _treatments_ were applied. Worse than the pain of the _treatments_ themselves was the aftereffects. His body ached to be touched and filled. They added a cage to his cock, which he found disproportionately cruel since one of the other treatments caused his cock and balls to become engorged and needy. Fuck, he was needy all the _fucking_ time now.

Still nothing mattered more than getting to see Emori again and if he had to comply to earn that privilege then he could and would do anything they wished, including suffer these indignities. It wasn’t like it was the first time he’d traded his body for his safety, or hers. Finally, after what seemed like months, they came in and began to do something different. He was bathed and groomed to their apparent satisfaction. He was allotted a pair of light shoes that slipped over his feet and a single pair of pants that tied with a drawstring. They were dark navy, which gave him a pleasant sense of coverage, although they were so thin as to offer almost no protection. He’d never survive in the wild here, dressed like this, even if he could get away. Also he had tried numerous times to get the cage off his cock and it did not budge. He couldn’t just run for it, not unless they removed it. He was literally between a rock hard cock and a life of captivity. _Fucking bastards._

“Walk.” The order was crisp and the threat implicit. Do what he was told or back into the room he would go. As Murphy felt his sanity slipping away, he knew he would walk. He couldn’t bear one more hour in that room if he didn’t have to do so. He let out a soft gasp at the sight of Emori. The dress she was wearing barely covered her breasts but swept to the ground in a long fall of luxurious looking fabric. She looked beautiful despite all the circumstances. He devoured the sight of her. Her breasts were larger and she was walking carefully so he assumed they had altered her too. As she walked he realized the skirt was not a solid piece of cloth but rather ribbons of fabric such that when she moved, her nudity under the gown was made evident. There was nothing covering her badass hand, which he knew made her self-conscious. His poor girl. 

Then Raven appeared. She was dressed but her dress covered nothing at all. It came up in a sort of corset to offer up her breasts but did not keep them from view. The skirt was so sheer in the light that as she walked, Murphy could see, well, everything. Her round bottom was also on display and with a flash of shame, Murphy had to admit that she looked, well, hot. Her brace was polished to a shine but readily in view as well. All features were displayed. Her sweet face was burning, which made Murphy more ashamed of the lust he felt for her.

The others were brought out and placed into small groups. The colours were a tip off as to the groups. Bellamy, Clarke and Echo were dressed in dark red. Miller and Jackson were in green. Octavia was in a soft, dusty sort of pink. Last but never least, he, Emori and Raven were in navy blue. He had no idea as to the reason for the colours but he desperately wanted to know. What did it all mean and what was about to happen to them? Knowledge was everything and they were left with nothing.

Each of the groupings had a small riser upon which they were standing. In the distance you could make out seats and on the other side of the seats were another set of risers upon which others stood. He remembered seeing some of those faces at the dinner that was held, where they were all drugged. He shuddered in the recollection. However, they were not from the Eligius IV, which meant this auction wasn’t just a treat they saved for outsiders. To be fair, this made sense since they were so proficient at the cruel _treatments_.

Somehow that made it so much worse. Reaching out slowly, he folded his hand over Emori’s and smiled as her hand wove over his and squeezed. Taking a chance, he then reached for Raven’s hand and to his surprise, she didn’t reject the touch. Instead she grasped his hand tightly and held on for dear life.

People walked through and looked at each set on display. The visitors were dressed up and looking well for the event. He tried to stifle the building pressure in his chest that made him want to scream every time someone stopped in front of them and ran their hands over one of their bodies. People drank from Raven and tears splashed down her flushed cheeks as they did so. Neither the guards, nor the guests, seemed to object to the three of them holding hands, which frightened him in a strange way. He heard mumblings about bonds and training.

The lights dimmed for the crowd and seats were taken. Everyone seemed pleased and excited. Apparently this was quite the event. They were monsters in Murphy’s opinion. Roan sat near the stage, giving every impression that he was very pleased with the evening’s events. The spotlight fixed on the stage and the presentation had begun. Most of it was a blur. The auctioneer pointed out each of them as if they were livestock, discussing attributes and encouraging people to check their programs. Apparently you could buy one or purchase the set. Those words had Emori whisper, “John.” in a pained little voice. 

“I’m here, I’m here. Just hold onto me. We’ll figure this out.” Murphy tried to reassure her but he honestly was not sure if that was true or merely a fiction he was trying to paint. His cock throbbed in the cage that the bastards had yet to remove and there was an awkward plug in his ass to aid in the discomfort of the situation. 

A second spotlight flared to life and fixed on Miller and Jackson. The bidding was hot and heavy for the two men. This logically made sense, Murphy rationalized. After all, Miller was handsome, young and strong. Jackson was a good looking guy and he was also a doctor. Murphy could see the value in their purchase, despite himself. He wasn’t sure if the final sale total was high since the terms they were using made no logical sense to him, but there were gasps of appreciation from the audience so he assumed it wasn’t cheap. 

Murphy tried to keep track but he could feel the sweat gather on his back and a trickle tease down his spine. Clarke had been sold separately to a really pretty woman that seemed to be someone quite important. Everyone seemed impressed but Clarke looked terrified. Echo and Bellamy were purchased as a package but he couldn’t make out by whom.

By the time the spotlight turned on them, Murphy was shaking and still trying to hold his head up high. People still seemed to think it was charming he was holding the girls’ hands but he couldn’t have made himself let go if he tried. He couldn’t hear anything past the blood rushing in his ears.

**_Raven_**

Raven wanted to die of humiliation every time anyone stopped to toy with her breasts or run their fingers over her sex. The outfit they had dressed her in almost looked modest until she realized it was sheer and covered absolutely nothing. People could drink from her and they did, while some attendant wiped her breasts off after every use. She had never felt so inconsequential in her life.

If it wasn’t for Murphy’s hand wrapped around hers, she was confident that she would not still be upright. The bidding was fast and almost fascinating. She saw the paddles flash but with the lights in her face, there was no way to make out who actually acquired her. Then the lights were off, just like that, clicking out just as suddenly as they were turned on them. 

“Sold.” The auctioneer shouted to cheers from the gathered crowd.

Raven’s chest heaved and she turned slightly. Murphy tugged her in close and then did the same with Emori. The three huddled together, desperately seeking comfort from this terrifying turn of events. They were sold at auction. She wondered if the lactation thing was a permanent change or what they had done to her sex for that matter. She feared it was, given how diligently they had applied themselves into making it happen. Raven groaned at the sweet pressure of Murphy’s chest against her own. 

“What will happen to us now?” she whispered to Emori and watched as the other woman shook her head in evident confusion. Obviously they would not go back to their solitary rooms, right? They would go home with their new owner. Oh wow, that was a spectacularly fucked up sentence right? Owner. She was owned. Then the tears started to flow in earnest. She held on tightly to Murphy and Emori as she wept. She was grateful she wasn’t alone in this new nightmare.


	2. Madness of Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the journey continues into their gilded cages

**_“They say the mad live in a world of dreams, or nightmares. I just need to find the way out.”_ **

**_Murphy_**

“I said shut up, boy. I swear on all the ancient gods if you continue to speak I will drown you and tell them you fell overboard and couldn’t swim.” The man threatened and then laughed as the rest of his crew did. Murphy swallowed what he was about to say next. In any other circumstance he would love to be on this boat, in the open water, sailing. It seemed like a boyhood fantasy that had become a nightmare. He remained thankful for the presence of the two women.

They were all better dressed than the night before. Emori was in a sweeping dress, still in that rich navy colour but it was a superior fabric and although it had some interesting cut-outs in the pattern along her back, it covered her from neck to ankle. They also permitted her a matching glove, which made her smile. This made Murphy feel a lot more warmly about the situation, although he was horrified that it took so little to earn his gratitude.

Raven, on the other hand, was in a pair of dark navy trousers that cupped her tightly across her sex such that everyone could see her augmentations despite the full coverage. The cream coloured sweater draped over slim shoulders and could be unbuttoned with ease for her to use the travel sized pump they had given to her. It was humiliating. The worst part was that she struggled to make it work alone so he or Emori had to help her. Murphy could see it killed her every time she had to ask. He was wearing dark navy pants, paired with a simple t-shirt and a cream coloured cardigan. It was quite comfortable actually and made him feel a little more human. The cage however, reminded him that he was not. At least the plug was gone, from all three of them. He appreciated these small mercies. 

He had been trying to get the person who purchased them to talk, to explain that they couldn’t just be kept and to see if some sort of trade could be worked out. However, that person would not listen to a word that passed his lips. Finally he turned to Emori and muttered, “For a man who owns us, he certainly isn’t very interested in us.” 

Raven tapped his shoulder, “Not him apparently. He was a proxy, sent to buy the set of blues, all three if possible but so long as it contained at least one female. The crew are feeling very pleased about bringing home two females and the male to him.” Emori and Murphy stared at her in shock at this revelation. 

“What?” Emori questioned, “Then who does … own us?” The words were said as if they tasted rotten in her mouth. Murphy had to agree with this assessment and wondered what the colours meant. Were they just the next set of blues available and if so, did they individually matter at all? 

Raven just shook her head, “That’s as much as I got anyone to share. Everyone is incredibly loyal to this man, whoever he is.” She watched the community of Sanctum recede in the distance. They were now far from the dropship and their connection with the Eligius IV and unless some miracle occurred, she had no idea how they would ever get back there. If the mothership crew were remotely practical, they would thaw Shaw and get out of here immediately. 

“Wrong direction?” Murphy muttered.

“Yeah.” Raven sighed and then realized that the pressure had become unbearable again. “Could, uh, you come give me a hand for a minute?” Emori immediately nodded, “Of course. John, can you stand lookout?” There was no privacy for any of them and there was only so much they could take. Murphy wondered about the others. Would they have a chance to run? He couldn’t imagine Clarke or Echo taking this well. Would Blodreina leave a trail of death in her wake or would Wanheda decimate everyone? At least with Raven with them, he and Emori wouldn’t be left behind. 

**_Echo_**

Echo pulled her knees up to her chest, trying to quell her need to cum. She had tried to mark the time but it had been challenging to keep track. She put their time on the planet’s surface at somewhere between three and four months with an approximate ten day spread where she was wholly uncertain as to how much time had passed. Roan seemed to relish mocking her. The fierce warrior who now had to submit. He would do several needles each session and now her body was needy all the time. Her breasts were larger, the folds of her sex constantly engorged and she craved sex constantly. She heard about Raven though and had to admit she was grateful that such a humiliation was not forced upon her as well.

The woman who approached them at the end of the auction had stood next to Clarke’s new owner, a stunning woman named Lexa LeBeau. It was a pretty name that suited her. She and Bellamy were owned by another woman - tall, regal and fierce, the woman looked as though she could have survived on the ground back on Earth and led an entire clan, if not become a commander herself. She introduced herself as Mistress Anya and ordered them to follow. They had been loaded into a vehicle, in which they had been travelling for hours. 

“I don’t want to do this, Bellamy,” she whispered quietly as he cupped the back of her head and pulled her in close. His body was comforting. God, she had missed him. The smell of him, the feel of him. She threaded one hand into his dark curls and allowed herself the bliss of just holding him. 

“Echo.” his voice was gravelly, laced with pain, and her heart hurt for him. He took on so much for the others. He was always worrying about them. To get everyone back and be separated again was simply too much to bear for her beautiful man. 

“We’ll get them back. We’ll find them. All of them. I promise.” She assured him, her voice determined. He tipped his head and kissed her gently. How she had missed this closeness with him and she melted into the gentle caress of his lips. “It’s alright. I’m here. I’m here,” She pledged quietly. She felt his hand tug in her hair and she opened her eyes to find him untying the drawstring that held up his pants. 

“Bell?” she questioned.

“Please Echo. I need it.” he replied. Flushing, Echo nodded and shifted in her seat to come to kneel on the floor in front of him. She tried to be subtle and missed the way the Mistress turned in her seat to watch, a pleased smile warming her lips as she did so. 

Echo was astonished by the changes wrought. Bellamy was thicker, longer and harder than he had been before. Apparently the treatments as they were called were not just applied to women. Somehow she had thought that might be the case but she was proven wrong. She had sucked Bellamy’s cock hundreds of times before but this was a new beast all together. She could barely fit her mouth around him and worst of all, her pussy leaked heavily at the thought of this thick shaft filling her there. Fortunately Bellamy was sufficiently worked up that it didn’t take long before she was swallowing his seed, his hand tightening in her hair as he fucked into her mouth, straining her capacity. Bellamy had just released his hold on her hair and fallen back into his seat when she heard the Mistress speak.

“Well, wasn’t that delightful? What a good girl you are, Echo.” The voice was sultry and strangely intoxicating. Echo’s cheeks flushed a ruby red as she tried to gracefully get back into her seat, wiping at her chin and face as she did so. The woman continued, “Do not be upset. The entire point of the treatments is to ensure the bonding occurs and your sexual drive is at a peak. Children are very rare in our world. We’ve found this assists with the breeding, as well as more recreational pleasures.” 

Bellamy was trying to hastily tuck away his cock, embarrassed that this woman had witnessed what he instigated. Later, he would apologize to Echo for putting her in this situation entirely. “Breeding?” He questioned gruffly.

“Yes, of course. I find myself ready to have some young ones to raise and I think you two would be absolutely flawless for this purpose, you are so beautiful. I encourage you to fuck as often as you wish. Soak her in your cum, dear boy, if you can manage to have her getting round with child before the winter snows I would appreciate it.” Anya replied with an easy, self-satisfied grin. She turned back in her seat. “We’ll be at the compound within the hour.”

“We can’t stay. The people on our ship are waiting. They will come down here. They will find a way.” Echo stated flatly, disliking all this talk of getting her pregnant, even as the idea sent a spiral of heat right to her core. 

Anya just laughed. “Oh no dear, you aren’t going anywhere but I do so love that feisty spirit. Please pass that along to the children too.”

**_Clarke_**

Clarke stared at the stunning woman with a looming sense of fear in her heart, not because she wanted to run but because she desperately wanted to wrap her arms around her and hold on for dear life. Apparently her home was not far from the Sanctum compound because unlike most of the other travellers, they were travelling by horse drawn carriage.

She shifted slightly in her seat, trying to get comfortable, but it was impossible. She was already someone with rather large breasts but with the treatments, she felt stretched and overfull somehow. The dress they had given her to wear had a top that just barely covered her nipples and you could tell on another girl it was supposed to be cute and sort of a fluttery design on the bodice. On her, it was skin tight to the point you could see the ridge of her engorged nipples through the fabric. The skirt barely came to mid-thigh when standing, which meant while she was sitting, Clarke had to work to keep her pussy out of view. 

The other woman, her Mistress, was dressed in black leather pants and a corset top that looked impossibly tight as well and Clarke hated herself for how much she ached to touch her. Her voice was kind as she spoke, “Just breathe, my little beauty.” A soft hand traced over Clarke’s soft curls. Reaching for a small blanket, Lexa spread it over her darling pet as if the caretaking was the most natural thing in the world, and drew Clarke close. Clarke should have fought but she was exhausted by the fighting. Just for a minute, she wanted to rest, so she allowed her head to be pillowed on Lexa’s soft shoulder and closed her eyes

“That’s right. That’s a good girl. I knew the minute I saw you that you were meant for me. I am sure that sounds terrible to you right now but once you have lived here for a season or two, you will come to understand. This is a special place, a safe place, and I will take very good care of you.” Lexa assured quietly. Clarke bit her lip to contain her protest. She didn’t want to be taken care of, she wanted to be free, to be with her family, didn’t she? The problem was that as Lexa spoke, the heat within her built all the further. She felt herself soaking the seat under her bottom and internally she cursed at the humiliation of it all.

She felt the moment that the buttons gave and her top loosened and fell down. She blushed and thought it was an accident for a few seconds. As her hands came up to cover her breasts, Mistress Lexa caught them and pushed them down again, proving it had been no accident 

“My beautiful Clarke. They did such a good job on your breasts. Were they always bigger than average?” Lexa queried gently as she cupped one full breast and teased her thumb over the ridge of Clarke’s nipple. Clarke couldn’t trust her voice and nodded miserably. “Oh you poor dear and then they made them bigger during your treatments, didn’t then?” 

Clarke choked back a sob at the delightful horror of Lexa’s teasing touches and gentle words. “Yes.” she agreed.

“Yes what?” Lexa prompted and Clarke flushed brightly. She wanted to reject the statement and yet as she spoke the words came out all too easily, “Yes Mistress.”

“Good girl, Clarke.” Lexa replied as she leaned in to claim Clarke’s pink lips in a long, slow kiss. Clarke sank into her arms and the kisses. God but it felt good to be close to someone again. She groaned and wrapped her arms fervently around Lexa, holding the Mistress close. So lost in the caresses and sweet kisses that she actually let out a disappointed moan when the carriage came to a stop.

“We’re home, my dear girl. You may use the blanket as a bit of a wrap if it makes you feel more comfortable. Come on inside and see everything. Tomorrow I will commission our tailor to make you a few things for better coverage. Until then, I might be able to call upon a few of my men to spare a shirt or two until you grow accustomed to your adjusted form.”

“So it’s permanent then?” Clarke asked mournfully.

“Of course. That would be a lot of painful effort for something temporary, wouldn’t you agree?” These words were accompanied by a soft laugh that made Clarke wet, as well as want to weep, at the same time. 

“Although I may need to take you in for adjustments after the babies are born.” Lexa explained as she climbed down from the carriage seat and held out a hand toward Clarke.

“Babies?” The word was accompanied by a gasp of shock.

“Of course Clarke, fertile individuals are very valuable here and I paid quite a bit for you.” Her mistress affirmed as Clarke climbed out of the carriage. Lexa glanced back at the seat and grinned. She turned to the driver. “Get Luc to scrub the seats in the morning. Apparently my pet is quite messy.” Clarke wanted to run away out of pure embarrassment and still she found herself following her owner into her large home.

**_Octavia_**

They had done her up prettily for the auction. It was not something she was accustomed to - the effort to be pretty. Her hair was pinned up in loose curls. The dusty rose of the skirt was cut high in the front but fell almost to her ankles in the back while her augmented breasts were covered with a simple bandeau top. Octavia felt out of place in every way. She was Blodreina but Blodreina was no more. She had served her purpose and then taken it over the line, and there were so many regrets. So many lives lost and she felt the weight of each one. She remembered Clarke once saying that she bore it so that others did not have to and she finally truly understood those words.

Now she had been sold at auction. Like she was a thing, a mere object. From a queen to a slave in a single lifetime. Quite the journey for the girl under the floor, she mused philosophically. She jerked out of her thoughts at the sudden arrival of the man in front of her. Her new master, Lincoln something something. She actually didn’t catch his full name. He was built like a wall and towered over her. The treatments had made her ache in ways she hadn’t experienced since she was a girl with her first love, a handsome grounder who had been summarily executed. It still hurt to think of him. That tight heat spiralled through her body and as this new “Master” of hers neared, she felt that liquid drip down her inner thighs. At the sensation, Octavia flushed a dark pink that matched the colour of her clothing, an unintentional but rather striking visual on the petite brunette.

The man was huge and yet she didn’t feel afraid. She should have. She should have wanted to fight this man tooth and nail for her freedom and instead as he reached for her, she lifted her arms. He picked her up and cupped her bottom to hold her up against his chest. 

“Hello, my little beauty. I think you are all for me.” This gruff man stated with a warm laugh. “I see the treatments were very effective on you.” He continued as his hand cupping her ass teased between her thighs. She moaned despite herself and tucked her face into his neck.

“Please,” She whispered, “I need …” She didn’t finish the thought as Roan approached. She felt no warmth toward him, just the cruelty she had experienced at his hands. The press of the plugs he used to train her ass to accept a man’s cock. The cold fluid in the needles that breached her skin and tormented her, causing her sex to be eager and desperate. Her sensitivity had hit the point of pain numerous times during the treatments and yet Roan was unrelenting. No matter if she sobbed, screamed, threatened or fought. Every day it happened without relief. She hated Roan and wished only for the right and the opportunity to slit his throat. 

Lincoln, seeming to sense her despair and rage, touched her back with his free hand, stroking it softly and murmuring to her soothingly. “Settle, Octavia. We shall depart now. Are you ready?” Octavia nodded slowly and let her eyes fall closed as he walked away with her. She whimpered quietly as his fingers continued to press into her sex with the motion of his walk. She tried to hold onto the scraps of her dignity but Octavia writhed against him. 

Octavia gasped at the sight of the horse. A real horse. Oh how she had missed horses. She grinned and Lincoln appeared charmed by her enthusiasm. He placed her up on the animal before he mounted behind her. She pet the animal eagerly and tried not to notice the unfortunate effect of the saddle under her. She tried to stay upright so it wouldn’t press into her sex but as he climbed in behind her, her body was pressed down against the smooth, worn leather. She moaned heavily and compulsively ground against it before trying to steady herself.

“God, what have they done to me?” Octavia whined, more to herself than her new Master.

“Made you my perfect little breeder.” He growled in her ear as he picked up the reins with one hand and the other pushed low enough to tease her clit. Already sensitized, Octavia bucked and came hard, her entire body shaking, and then she collapsed back against the big man seated behind her. 

“That’s a good girl.” he praised as he got the horse moving. The gait of the animal tormented Octavia. Only later would she process his words. Breeder! What the hell was he talking about? Surely not! No. The idea of bearing a child had never occurred to her and now this giant of a man intended to breed her. Like she was a broodmare! She’d like to say she protested strenuously but the trip home pulled two more orgasms out of her and by the time he tucked her into bed and filled her pussy, she came for the fourth time that day and passed out in sheer exhaustion. She didn’t remember much about the home or the ride. 

The next morning when she woke, she looked around the room. It was stunning. In the distance was a view of the river and she could even make out a ship. Amazing. Everything looked so pure and green, rich in foliage and alive. After years of the bunker to emerge to the dusty ruins of Polis, everything here struck her as very alive. She thought of Bellamy and knew she still needed to make amends to him. How would she ever find him in this place? 

“My brother!” She spun around as Lincoln entered the room with a breakfast tray. 

“Yes? What about him?” the man replied as he passed over the tea. 

“Where is he? How would I find him? Can I communicate with him?” She asked hastily. 

“Mistress Anya’s compound is some distance away but you’ll see them all at the annual harvest feast in Sanctum.” Lincoln shrugged and picked up a sliver of toast before applying some sort of fruit spread. The sight made her mouth water. Seeing the expression on her face, Lincoln held out the toast toward her and she snatched it away greedily. He just laughed at her.

“Annual feast?” she queried.

“Absolutely. It is also known as the Harvest Gathering. Everyone will be there this year. After all, we have a bet riding on the results of this year’s auction. Everyone with a successful conception by then wins a prize. All in fun of course.” He continued with a causal sort of shrug.

Octavia’s mouth fell open at these words and then closed again. Suddenly the toast wasn’t quite so tasty. She did finish it though as she tried to process her next question. “We have people, on the ship, they will look for us.” she started but Lincoln was already shaking his head. Octavia frowned, still unaccustomed to people dismissing her words so hastily.

“What? Why?” Octavia questioned.

“Time distortion. You passed through it when you came to the planet’s surface. It was probably one hell of a ride” Lincoln started. 

“No that’s impossible.” She protested, although he wasn’t wrong about the journey, and he held up his hand as if asking to be heard. She fell silent for a moment. 

“How long has it been in your records since my ship landed on the planet?” he replied and folded his arms as if daring her to say anything.

“Just over two hundred years I think.” Octavia was confused, which was quite evident in her expression.

“And for us, it has been well over two thousand years. That’s why no radio signals get through. Even for us, we had to hardline everything because of the distortion. This moon passes too close to a black hole. Which means … as you may have guessed, that you’ve been down here for over four months and according to your ship, it’s been minutes. You’ll spend an entire lifetime down here before they ever come looking for you. If they do, they’ll pass through the same distortion. I’m sorry but it is very unlikely you will see any of those people again in your lifetime. On the plus side, your brother is here. You will see him several times a year at minimum. Mistress Anya and I are allied and good friends.” 

Octavia sat down heavily. “So that’s it.” With everything she had been through, she had finally reached her breaking point and she burst into tears. Lincoln stopped looking complacent and smug and crossed the floor to wrap his arms around the tiny brunette. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I should have found a better way to tell you all that. It’s okay. You’re okay. It’ll be okay.” He assured her as she curled up in his arms. All the agonies of her lifetime of nothing but grief and loneliness and sorrow and anger. It overwhelmed her. She wept until she passed out in his arms.

**_Raven_**

The early morning light filtered over the deck of the ship and illuminated the modest glass surround cabin in which the ‘pets’ were allowed to be. It was humiliating as they were afforded such little privacy and no one seemed to care. The bed was big at least. Raven let out a whimper. Her breasts ached and she wanted to cry from the pressure. “Murphy.” she whispered and pinched his arm. He woke with a start, a grumpy frown darkening his features. Raven held a finger to her lips and pointed at Emori on his other side. She was still sound asleep and the poor women needed it desperately.

Murphy just raised a brow, silent sarcasm dripping from his expression. God, he was such a jerk. She wasn’t sure when she started loving that about him. She wasn’t sure when she started loving him, full stop. It wasn’t discussed and she never, ever would. She was not about to hurt Emori, the other person she loved. She was so fucked up. How do you fall in love with a couple like some kind of idiot? It had happened on the Ring and Raven kept her thoughts about Murphy and Emori to herself, except to continue to give Murphy a hard time and offer support to Emori. She was a good friend, even when it killed her.

But now she needed something else. She pointed at her breasts and flushed deeply. Murphy nodded, seeming to catch on to her request. She had left the pump in the washroom after cleaning it before bed. Murphy moved over her, trying to disentangle himself from the sheets without disturbing Emori, but he sort of half slid over her body, his thigh brushing against her sex as he did so. She moaned despite herself and her head fell back. 

“Please…” she begged and cupped the back of his head. What was she doing? This was a terrible idea. She pulled him in and he caught the hint, tugging down the sheet and latching on. Her toes curled and it wasn’t with pleasure. It fucking hurt like the devil’s own. She covered her mouth with one hand and whimpered quietly behind it. Tears filled her eyes as she tried to process the weird combination of sensations. 

Then she felt another mouth. Oh no … oh god yes. The hand on her mouth disappeared into Emori’s soft dark hair as she fed from Raven too. Her two favourite people in all the universes and they were here and they were taking care of her. The pain of it slipped away to something else as the pressure was relieved. Murphy’s thigh was still between her legs and she found herself grinding against it, seeking her own blissful release. Murphy was groaning and only later would she remember that his cock was still caged and she must have been cruelly teasing the poor man. In this moment, however, she didn’t care, she only wanted her own pleasure and she was chasing it. 

Emori reached over and snagged Murphy’s hand, plunging it between her own thighs so he would get her off. She was writhing too but against Raven. Poor Murphy would get no release as the cage didn’t permit such things but both women came within seconds of each other. Murphy finally rolled off Raven and the three lay side by side, trying to recover. 

“Told you, I got you some good ones, boss.” 

Raven’s eyes flew wide and she sat up a little, tugging up the blankets to cover herself. She’d get out of bed but she needed a lot of clothes and her brace to move and in this awkward state, she wasn’t sure how to do that. Murphy sat up the most, tugging up the blankets to cover Emori and Raven better. 

“Well done. Even prettier in person than in the program too.” The voice was deep and filled with amusement. None of them could make out a face as the sunlight blocked their view. He was big. That was evident. Murphy swallowed as the voice disappeared. They could hear footsteps on the deck as the proxy-captain guy pushed open the door a little further and shouted, “Get dressed and up to the main house for your breakfast. I ain’t waiting all day for you to fuck.” The man clapped his hands like they were dogs and Raven felt a seething sort of rage at the way he was talking to them. Fucking bastard. 

Murphy seemed to feel it too. “Fuck off and we’ll get dressed, you assholes.” he shouted and then flinched as the man threw the door wide and took another step inside. Murphy shifted in front of Raven and Emori slightly and his chin came up defiantly. Another crew member snagged the back of the captain’s sweater and muttered, “Hurt them and you know the Master will have your head. Come on now. Get the fuck outta here.” 

The burly captain scowled at Murphy and pointed a finger in his direction, “Watch your mouth, boy. Just watch it.” he snarled before stepping out of the room. The door banged closed. They didn’t really have privacy as the room was glass but still, it made them feel a little better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I greatly appreciate everyone who reads, comments or leaves a kudos. Thank you for your time. I hope you continue to enjoy my twisted tale. Thank you to Carrie of DialedIn for her continued enthusiasm, support and editing skills.


	3. The Consolation of Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captive Lust

**_“Die in my nightmares; I will live in yours.”_ **

**_Nathan_ **

Nathan shot upright in the bed and looked around feverishly before recognizing where he was. Then he could breathe. Eric was next to him but the man slept like the dead and did not wake. The other man, their Master, was not beside them. Nathan stumbled to the washroom and turned on the light. The nightmares of the Bunker had not left him. Eric continued to urge him to forgive himself but he couldn’t. He envied his lover’s ability to sleep, although he knew the other man was haunted as well. He wasn’t sure it would ever be possible to just sleep or forgive himself. He splashed cold water on his face and felt the boat roll from side to side. He remained in awe that he was, in fact, on an actual boat. It had been two full days of sailing now and according to the captain of the vessel known as the “Skycutter”, there were several more days ahead.

He caught sight of himself in the mirror and stared for just a moment at every scar as well as the changes they had wrought in him. His cock was perpetually half hard, which was rather uncomfortable but he was growing accustomed to it. His sex drive had gone through the roof, which troubled him more than he would like to admit. Especially as he didn’t just crave Eric’s attention. He craved his Master’s above all else, a thought he found humiliating. 

Days upon days the needles pierced his skin. He actually managed to break out once, using a key he lifted from one of the guards. They caught him more easily than he would like. There were multiple sets of interlocking, keycoded and connected doors. Without Monty’s skills, his own only got him so far. He got through two sets before they tackled him. Damn, he missed Monty. 

Worst of all, Roan didn’t even look irritated. Instead he was impressed and told him that he had just raised his price. The questions had flowed after that little admission but Roan only spoke when he chose to and Nathan’s desire for information amused him. He was bound on every visit thereafter and had a permanent guard at his door. No one else had a permanent guard so he supposed he should be flattered. 

Flicking off the light, Nathan picked up the light trousers and tugged them on before leaving the cabin and walking along the halls up to the deck. It was strange not to be restrained in any way. He was just allowed to walk around the ship and he did so, his feet softly padding on the deck until he found the other man. He was younger than expected and not terribly large either. Ilian was his name and when Nathan appeared on deck, he heard a soft voice say, “Hello there Nathan, still can’t sleep?” 

Nathan shook his head but didn’t reply. His feet moved without volition, not stopping until he was next to the other man. His owner turned to him and wrapped an arm around his back and pulled him into a gentle hug. He mentally cursed himself because it felt good, so very good, and he leaned in to lay his head on Ilian’s shoulder. 

“So much to get accustomed to so quickly.” Illian murmured, “I am sorry for my part in it but not at all sorry you are mine.” A kiss followed these words, just a gentle press of Illian’s lips to his. “I know you grieve to leave your friends but you will see them again in a few months at the Harvest Gathering. I promise.” 

Nathan wanted to hate this man so much but Ilian had been nothing but kind since the moment he had purchased them. That was a fucking insane thought but it was true. “So how far away is your home again?” He wanted another topic, any other other topic would do. 

Ilian’s hand slipped down Nathan’s chest as he spoke and he felt those gentle strokes to his shaft through the soft, thin fabric of the trousers. Fucking hell. He gripped the railing of the boat and huffed out a growl of air. It didn’t occur to him to ask Ilian to stop. “Our home.” Ilian interjected before continuing, “is another three days of good sailing away. We are the furthest from Sanctum, which is why I have long been keen on acquiring a physician. No one else is interested in coming to serve our community. We have a few nurses and pharmacists but the clinic is entirely without a physician.” Ilian paused and looked over at Nathan, still teasing his cock almost absently. Nathan had noted there was a sort of off-hand sexual nature to the entire planet whenever children were not present. Even when they were, there was a lot of hugging, caresses and kisses. An entire planet of tactile people was a strange concept. “So then the question you will need to explore while you are there is what you would like to do.” 

Nathan’s head shot to look at Ilian. “What do you mean?” he asked gruffly.

“Well …” Ilian shrugged lightly, “We don’t actually have much need for guards or soldiers. We are lightly populated compared to the other communities. I take care of most administrative and judicial services for the community. So what do you think you would like to do to fill your days? Help raise our children? Study some profession? Teach perhaps?” he offered.

Nathan’s hand came up in a sort of protest and then gasped as the movement made one of Ilian’s touches press in a little more firmly. He took a breath to steady himself and then looked over at the other man, “Children?” he questioned.

“Absolutely. I already have two surrogates arranged as well as the other necessary materials. I’m sure it’ll be strange to have Eric work with his own material but I’m sure he’ll manage it. By next year this time I hope we’ll have two little ones to join us on our journey to Sanctum for the summer festivals.” Ilian explained blithely.

“What … what if I don’t want children?”

The disappointment on Ilian’s face was so acute that Nathan immediately wanted to retract his question and had to bite his lip to prevent himself from doing just that. Ilian’s hands fell away from his body and Nathan felt an instant wave of longing. What the fuck had they done to him?

“Well, I suppose once they arrive if you wish to reside separately, I will … I will have to find a way to accept that. I could not have people around the children that do not care for them.” Ilian nodded, “I’ll leave you to your solitude.” The man turned and Nathan told himself not to follow. _Don’t do it. Don’t do it._ But then he was mere paces behind Ilian before he could register the motion of his feet. He ducked his head and kissed the handsome young Master softly. 

“Shh… it’s all right Nathan. I understand it has been difficult for you. Come lay down with me and Eric. Take comfort in your new family, yes?” Ilian soothed between leisurely kisses. Nathan found himself nodding as Ilian’s hand folded over his and they walked hand in hand to the bedroom. The child conversation was not resolved to his mind but Ilian seemed satisfied with whatever decision he had made. 

Nathan couldn’t believe this was even a possibility in his life. When he was in the skybox, he had been convinced they would float him the day after his 18th birthday. He knew he was not the only one. So many of the remaining delinquents, not that there were many anymore, had a similar sense of “how the hell am I still alive”. As he stretched out in the bed, he felt Ilian’s lips taste their way from his lips to his cock and he groaned in blissful relief. He couldn’t get enough anymore. Ever since the treatments, all he wanted was sex and now it was all muddled up with the strange comfort that he felt whenever he was with Ilian. It made no sense. 

**_Emori_**

Emori stood on the deck in her third and only remaining outfit available to her. Another dress, it fell off one shoulder, lifted her now much larger breasts and then fell in a straight line to her ankle. If it weren’t for the high slits going all the way to her hips on each side, she might actually feel covered. She glanced over and blushed lightly at the sight of Raven’s sweet face. She had enjoyed herself that morning in bed but they had never before done such things and Emori wasn’t sure what troubled her more - the desire for the interactions to continue or that she hadn’t done it years ago.

Raven’s outfit was a sort of jumpsuit that was tight on her legs, hugged her cute round ass and then came up to cup her breasts. There was no upper part so she had stolen John’s cardigan and was wearing it over the outfit. She at least looked far more comfortable than she had in days. Another excuse to keep feeding from her personally? Emori hoped that would be the case. 

She smiled as John appeared in a dark navy suit jacket and trousers. It would be quite stylish if the trousers weren’t tailored to highlight his thick cock. It made her mouth water and as much as she didn’t enjoy her own anatomical changes, she felt a bit like a monster for enjoying Raven and John’s so much. 

John reached for her hand and she took his and Raven did the same. Hand in hand the three of them made their way along the dock and up the stairs. They had to walk around a long curve before the house came into view. It was breathtaking. John paused on the stairs and looked up, “Wow.”

“Wow is right! This place is incredible.” It was like a fantasy version of an old fashioned log house, with broad timbers and wide decks. Flowers grew in a riot of colour that gave the impression of being untamed and unruly. A man stood on the deck, watching them approach. Still she could not make out his face as the sun blinded their view, she could only tell he was large and broad. 

“Welcome home.” the man’s voice seemed to boom without yelling, which was an effective talent. Taking a deep breath, Emori stepped forward and her lover and their dearest friend followed in her wake. She crested the stairs just as he came down the final flight to meet them. 

He was older than she expected and may very well have been the tallest person Emori had ever met. His hair was dark with silver at the temples. “Hello. I am Gustus. I am your Master. Welcome to your new home. Please accept my apologies for not coming to get you personally. I am the only physician on the island and we had a gravely injured child that required my care. I couldn’t risk leaving her, no matter how tempting it was to collect you personally.” 

These words were interesting on so many levels. He cared for his charges. He was a physician. He was handsome and had a grave manner that she found appealing despite herself. He continued to speak as he was met with stony silence from the three of them, “I see that the Mistress of Tailoring still knows my taste. I should be flattered I think. You all look beautiful. Please come in.”

John seemed to shake himself as if coming alert. He was always careful at first, she noticed that about him. Assess the situation before making any form of overture for good or ill. Still John only released her hand when she held out her other hand toward their new Master. John reached for Raven and pulled her in close as they entered the residence. The inside was as spectacular as the outside. There were books and warm fabrics and soft leathers. The entire place looked lived in and cosy, despite its grand size. An old dog climbed down from a couch and made her way over to accept headpats and greetings before trundling outside to do her business and lay in the sun.

Gustus spoke as he led them further inside to a large dining room with a view overlooking the other side of the island. “That’s Indigo. Mostly called Digger. She’s a good old gal now. There are a couple of younger dogs around as well but they mostly spend their days roaming the island hunting rodents and the Tucker spiders. They aren’t poisonous but they are large and they hiss. The dogs hate them.” 

“What do you want us to call you?” Emori asked carefully. She was rewarded with a bright smile that, despite herself, had a smile flickering at the corner of her mouth in response. “You can call me whatever pleases you so long as you do it respectfully. Master, Sir, Gus, Gustus. All of those will generally work to get my attention.” The table was well laid out and quite beautiful. She wanted to protest that she wasn’t hungry. It just seemed so vulnerable to eat after what happened last time. However, her stomach growled loudly and then she blushed. Gustus continued, “Red marked chairs are for the ladies. John please sit wherever it pleases you.”

Emori was confused until she sat and felt the ridge in the seat of the chair. It pressed into her sex and had her moaning and clutching the arms of the chair despite herself. She was always so needy right now, no matter how hard she tried to keep it together. John’s gaze was worried and he took a seat hastily next to her, peering into her face while checking on her. 

“It’s fine, I’m fine.” Emori assured him gently and both of them watched as Raven took a seat and writhed in it, her eyes seeming to roll back as she did so. This man, this new Master, brushed a hand over Raven’s hair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “That’s right, pretty girl. You’re doing so well. Settle. We’ll play more but you need to eat. I’m sure you have so many questions and I will do my best to answer what I can.”

The possibility of accessing Information had John perking up immediately. He settled back in his chair and reached for some food as he started with the big one, “Why the _treatments_?” 

Gustus shrugged a broad shoulder and nodded, “Several reasons. It heightens arousal of course. You are operating on a strong need basis right now. It won’t fade. You’ll need regular sexual release for health and well-being. Your mental state will immediately deteriorate and continue to slide downward if you fail to achieve regular tactile contact. It also heightens fertility, longevity and of course, forges a bond between us.”

There was a lot of information there and Emori found herself swallowing around the lump that formed in her throat, “Us?”

The Master sipped his drink and shrugged again, “Yes, all four of us. You will feel inextricably bound to me the longer you spend with me. You will also feel increasingly bound to each other. Loyalty bonds. They can be broken in extreme circumstances, However, generally it prevents the acquisitions from murdering their owner, which was a fairly common occurrence about four … no wait, I guess it’d be closer to three hundred years ago. The fertility issue only arose about six centuries ago and it escalated for several centuries until this resolution was found. It has been quite effective. Children are not only more plentiful but they tend to grow in loving homes where they are well-cared for. If that makes some sense?”

Raven interjected, “Five … six … centuries? What? The Eligius missions were only two hundred and twenty years ago, give or take. That doesn’t make sense.” Ever the logical one, she pricked a hole in his explanation quickly, except she had to admit that nothing looked like it was less than 200 years old.

Gustus looked surprised, “Oh, no one told you? Oh wow. Okay. Just a second.” He rose to his feet and returned with a bottle of rich amber liquid. He poured them each a small portion in the glass and passed them out. “Okay drink that down. Trust me. You’re gonna need it.” He waited until each of them did as instructed before continuing, “You’re right, it has been under three hundred years in your time ...” he began.

**_Clarke_**

Clarke had to admit that she loved Lexa’s bedroom. The bed looked out over an incredible view of pastoral fields with mountains in the distance. She had her head pillowed on her Mistress’s breasts and felt Lexa’s hands sliding up and down her arms in a soothing motion. Their morning tea was still hot as they exchanged leisurely kisses and soft touches.

“Alright… you wanted to know, here it is.” Lexa started and Clarke could feel herself snuggling down into position. She shouldn’t feel so cozy but with two orgasms last night and another this morning, she felt good inside and out. She wasn’t sure how but her trust and faith in this stunning woman had grown exponentially in the few days she had known her. It absolutely did not make sense, even though it was true.

“During the trip, the Eligius III suffered from some damage due to space debris. This turned out to be fortuitous. You see, due to this debris, the initial landing party had to bring all of their gear with them. The trip to the planet’s surface was tricky and they considered themselves fortunate to make landfall with everyone still alive.” Lexa started before taking a pause to sip her tea. 

“Despite repeated efforts, they could never breach the ionosphere again. To their surprise, no one else from the ship joined them and they suspected that false readings had been sent indicating the initial landing parties did not survive entry. The records indicate that they were absolutely heartbroken to not be able to say goodbye to their friends and family on the Elgius III. They made a life, started building Sanctum, exploring the surrounding area. They discovered for example that radio signals, which I understand to be very common on Earth, did not work due to the atmosphere. We had to hardline all communication lines. There are only a few as a result, even now, because the terrain is the absolute devil for such things. We get wild winters but our other seasons are usually temperate. To their surprise, finally, decades later, the Eligius III broke through. They had brought down the entire mothership and landed it in a clearing some distance away. When they met the ship, no one had aged for the landing party had only been missing a few days, when frustrated by the lack of communication, the pilot elected to land the ship and see what had become of them.”

Clarke sat upright and stared, “What?” Lexa’s hands circled her body and pulled her back into position.

“It turns out there is a time distortion. Our astrophysicists have determined it is a result of the unusual radiation in our atmosphere combined with the moon’s proximity to a black hole. Our community has existed down here for over two thousand years. We have had many unique experiences. The landing of the Eligius III was a genetic boost that was desperately needed. Unfortunately, we have a bit of a fertility issue on our moon and it was resolved about four centuries ago when a research team discovered the treatment, which has been honed and revised over the years. It’s application is cruel, I know, my sweet girl. If you were from this moon, you would have been better prepared for it but even for the prepared, the isolation, the injections, all of it is deemed essential and it is cruel. I am so sorry you had to endure that.” Lexa’s arms tightened around her and somehow the apology did make Clarke feel a little better. 

“I know it hurts to have your family so far from you. But they are safe. You’ll live an entire lifetime with me before they even miss you. If they can get through and join us, they would be welcome. I am confident Roan would have half of your people trained up and sold off in the next few years. Those who are infertile will get the opportunity to select a community to live out their lives.”

Clarke’s eyes filled with tears, “Can we communicate with them? Ask them to come or even just move on? Something? My daughter is up there and my mother too. So many people that deserve a chance.”

Lexa shook her head sadly, “We’ve never been able to get a radio signal to breach the atmosphere. Maybe your people will manage it. I heard delightful things about your Raven Reyes? She is supposed to be brilliant and Master Gustus is a good friend and mentor to me. He will not restrict her use of technology if it makes her happy.” Lexa cupped the blonde’s sweet face and tipped her chin up to dust a light kiss over the pink lips. The hand then drifted between her lover’s thighs and teased the distended folds and needy clit. It was so sensitive that Lexa had to make her touch light at first or it was too much for her girl. Her breasts though, those could take a little rough play and never failed to make the beautiful little blonde sopping wet. “We have an appointment for your insemination this afternoon and the physician recommended an orgasm for you before going in.”

Clarke wanted to object, she really did, but as the fingertips drifted over her sex in that teasing manner, she lost all thought. She groaned and leaned back against Lexa’s breasts and tipped her mouth up for more kisses. How had her life come to this, she wondered. She missed her daughter, her friends, her mother, and yet the idea of leaving Lexa was an untenable option. It would only get worse if there was a baby, wouldn’t it?

Then Lexa pressed two fingers into Clarke’s channel and any attempt to hold onto rational thought was gone. Harvest … the annual harvest. She would see them then. They would come up with a plan. They would! Oh god, yes yes yes… “Mistress!” she called out as she writhed against the other woman.

**_Bellamy_**

“Again, Bellamy.” The Mistress demanded. She was pacing the room in a leisurely fashion, the long train of her dressing gown adding drama to the effect. Echo was now crying. Her ass and upper thighs were laced with stripes.

“Please Mistress. She’s had enough.” Bellamy protested quietly, hating himself with every blow he had laid on the woman he loved. Hating himself most for how it was turning him on. 

“I will say when she has had enough. Now, again. Defy me one more time and you’ll be over the bench next.” Anya stated coldly but the heat of her anger was still visible in her eyes. Echo had tried to escape three times in the last two weeks and apparently Mistress Anya was now making a point and using Bellamy to do it. 

Bellamy applied another stripe and saw Echo’s body arch and moan. Her hands were bound over the spanking bench, her ass tipped up and on display above her long legs. Stripes marred her skin from upper crest of her ass to mid thigh. 

“Again.” The order was crisp and Bellamy complied. His cock throbbed with every blow. God but he wanted to run his hands over Echo’s welted skin. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to comfort her or fuck her over that bench. What the hell was wrong with him? He felt the touch to his shoulders. Mistress Anya. His body reacted all the further. She just had to look at him and he was hard. Apparently the _treatments_ were to reinforce many things including their bond with her. He watched her with fascination, no small amount of sheer lust and just a little fear. Her lips brushed against his neck and she whispered against Bellamy’s skin, “Do you want her now, Bellamy? I think you do … that delightfully large cock of yours wants to sink into her heat and fill her with your cum, doesn’t it?” 

Holy fuck, the woman was trying to kill him. “I do.” he confessed.

He heard Echo’s sobs and a pang of guilt filled his heart and twisted in his gut. Anya stepped away from him and traced her fingertips along Echo’s spine, teasing the soft skin she found there. “Echo … do you want Bellamy?” 

Fresh tears met these words but even she couldn’t resist Anya’s allure and Echo blurted, “Yes, Mistress. Please. I need him.” 

Anya tipped her head up and looked at Bellamy with wide eyes, “Do you hear that, my sweet man, she needs you. How could you leave her like this? Aching and needy. Come and fill her up like a good boy.” 

Bellamy set down the whipping cane and crossed the short distance to where the two women were. Anya cupped his face, watching him in a manner that was both seductive and predatory and he wasn’t sure which turned him on more. He shoved down the waistband of his trousers and wrapped a hand around his cock. He brushed the head against Echo’s sex and she whimpered again. “Please Bellamy.” she begged. 

“Hear that … our girl is asking so nicely. Be a good boy and fuck our little beauty. She is a brat but I do adore her.” Mistress Anya’s words were a weird sort of magic all on their own. He nodded eagerly and felt her lips brush against his just as his cock pressed into Echo’s dripping channel. He shifted forward and smacked against Echo’s tender bottom as he filled her. She cried out from the slicing combination of pleasure and pain. Bellamy’s cock was so big now that it always hurt, just a little, and Echo was rapidly developing a taste for a little pain. This punishment though, provided that it was more than a little taste. She was drenched and he could see her fluids dripping onto her inner thighs. He knew that Echo was aware they could both see how turned on she was, which only made it worse. Echo hated to have her vulnerabilities exposed and now, her intimate secret was laid bare, quite literally, for them to use to tame her. 

**_Echo_**

Echo was finding it harder and harder to defy Anya. Every morning she looked forward to seeing her. If she was occupied for an entire day, Echo found she missed her. Mistress Anya was important and this filled Echo with a twisted sense of pride. Worst of all, with Bellamy there and assurances that they would see the others in just a couple of months, she was less troubled by her captivity than she was prepared to admit. She had spent most of her life as property, possession, slave and spy. Was this truly so different?

Then her mind rebelled and as if she just couldn’t let herself get complacent, she kept trying to escape the compound. It was a magnificent place, easily the most beautiful place she had ever been, and yet she still tried to flee. Echo made it pretty far this last time, managing to get to the river and steal a small boat. Hence the reason the Mistress had her punished so thoroughly this time. The first time she had been scolded. Last time, Bellamy had to put her over his lap and spank her while Mistress Anya watched. This time was a caning. It really hurt and honestly she wasn’t sure she wanted to endure it quite to this extent again. She’d prefer to go back a step to the hand spanking if they were going to dance around and play with pain. 

The most shameful part of it though was that she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to escape as much as catch the attention of her Mistress. She had been busy for the last few days and as much as Echo hated herself for it, she had missed the woman. Now she was here and all of her attention was focused on her and Bellamy. 

Anya crouched low enough to watch Echo’s face as Bellamy fucked her soundly, spanking her again with the rough strokes of his body crashing into her well-disciplined ass and thighs. Mistress Anya watched her face as she was ridden, smoothing back her hair with gentle strokes as she was fucked. “Good girl. That’s a good girl. You took your punishment well. Afterwards, we’ll all have a lovely dip in the pool to clean you up and get in bed. Doesn’t that sound nice?” Anya whispered before leaning in to kiss Echo. If only her hands were not bound, Echo would wrap them around this woman and hold onto her. 

Good girl. 

She was a good girl for her Mistress.

She certainly was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to DialedIn for her encouragement and editing skills. You're a rockstar!


	4. Settling

**__** __

_**“Shake me from my sleep, whisper in my ear, tell me it was all a dream and you’re here to make the nightmares go away.”** _

**_Murphy_**

Murphy was still trying to process all this information and the longer Gustus talked the more he … kind of liked him. That fucking bonding thing was already kicking in and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. The food was good at least but after the disaster on Earth and six years of consuming algae, the bar was very low.

“So we’re your little … what .. fuck toys … breeding machines? Why am I here anyway? What’s my purpose in your little game?” Murphy couldn’t resist asking as he gestured between the two women, “Don’t you just need them?” 

He was trying to be a little grating at minimum but Gustus seemed charmed, “So you expect me to make all the babies myself? I don’t think so. You’re here to help me with these two beautiful ladies.” He nodded at Emori and Raven. “My duties do keep me quite busy and of course, pregnant women are notoriously a lot of work.”

Murphy frowned, “So the babies … they could be mine.” Gustus just nodded so Murphy continued, “And we would stay here … together and raise them. You’re not going to like breed us and send us away or anything?” 

Gustus laughed at Murphy’s question, “Why would I do that? I know you don’t know me well yet but I am, in fact, a smart man. You are all mine. And I am absolutely not parting with you.” Murphy should not have found that comforting and yet oddly he did. 

“So then why am I still balls deep in a cage?” Murphy asked bluntly, “If I’m supposed to be helping get the girls pregnant?” 

Gustus looked shocked at the statement, “But this morning? When I looked in on you? That wasn’t you and Raven here?” The reference to the morning had all three of them blushing brightly and unable to look at each other or the older man to whom they now belonged. 

Emori piped up quietly, “We were just assisting Raven.”

Their Master nodded amiably, “Yes I’ll assume you have quite the schedule worked out by now. We’ll figure out how I slide into it of course.” He looked over at the bright-cheeked Raven and reached out a hand to brush over her curls. Raven opened her mouth and then closed it again, before mumbling, “I usually use the pump.” 

“Wow, okay, we have a few things to remedy now, don’t we?” Gustus reached over and took Raven’s hand. “Come here, dear girl.” He instructed and to Murphy’s surprise, Raven complied, letting the older man seat her on his lap. “The pump is the backup for when no one is around to take care of you.” His sharp gaze turned over to Emori and Murphy. Compulsively, Murphy’s hand slid over Emori’s and held it in his own. Gustus continued, “and I expect you both to help.” 

The idea made him painfully aware that the cage was still a thing and he flinched a little at the consequence. “Problem?” Gustus asked. 

“Okay. We can do that.” Emori interjected quickly, as if afraid of what Murphy had to say. She did not look the slightest bit put off by the notion of assisting Raven but Raven wasn’t looking at either of them, focused on the curve of their Master’s face as if fascinated. 

“Sir?” she whispered, a hand reaching up to touch his cheek. 

“Yes, pretty girl.” The older man whispered in reply but his voice was so deep that they all heard him speak. 

“Could you maybe make it stop?” Raven asked quietly.

“No.” He cupped her face and leaned in to claim the young woman’s lips in a soft kiss. Raven’s arms circled his neck and she leaned into it. Murphy felt like a bit of a pervert for just watching but he groaned again as his body reacted to the sight. Emori touched his hand and he leaned in to brush a kiss over her lips. 

“John …” Gustus said quietly and he heard Raven say to him, “Call him Murphy. Everyone does except Emori.” The older man laughed at this snippet of information. “Shall we all retire to the bedroom? I think Jo … Murphy might enjoy a little … ahem … personal freedom. Just so you know, that was supposed to come off after the auction. That was my instruction. Roan …” He shook his head in disdain and then sighed. 

The older man rose to his feet and set the petite Raven down as he did so. The sudden shift had Raven gasp and cling to the older man. Emori practically leapt to her feet, probably thinking she could help her friend, and she then sank back down into the chair, moaning quietly. 

“Will you give our Emori a hand?” Murphy wanted to object to that pronoun use but as Emori was breathing hard and in his arms, he couldn’t bring himself to do that. He slipped his arms around her and followed the other man. Climbing the stairs had Raven moaning and before she finished the first set, Gustus swept her up and carried her up the remaining flight. 

Emori clung to his arm, Murphy was starting to feel whatever was going on as well. The cage pressed uncomfortably as his body ached and Emori’s proximity, soft, warm and panting, was not helping matters. He watched which door Gustus used and followed. Later he would be struck by the beauty and grandeur of the room. The bed was enormous. At this moment though, he could not have cared less. 

Raven was already seated on the bed and Gustus was peeling off her clothes between soft kisses. Raven’s brace was set on the bench at the end of the bed and the young engineer was tracing her hands over Gustus’ broad frame. He was older but there was a strength to him that even Murphy thought was attractive. Very attractive.

Emori practically tumbled onto the bed, her hands pulling at her clothing and tossing it down in a soft pile next to Raven’s brace. Raven turned to Emori and the two girls were entangled with one another, plying each other with deep kisses and soft touches. It was an exquisite picture. Murphy wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there. It felt like forever and no time at all. He jerked as Gustus’ hand touched his cheek. The man’s broad hand traced down to his shoulder and then circled his wrist to fold over his hand. 

“I …. Sir …” Murphy’s verbal agility failed him in that moment and Gustus leaned in to whisper, “Come … let me take care of you.” The hands were at the buttons of his shirt, plucking them open until he could push the shirt off Murphy’s shoulders. Then those hands were at his waist. Murphy groaned as the pants were unfastened and pushed down as well. Undergarments had never been provided so he stood there, bare and oddly unashamed. 

“You bought it. Belongs to you now.” Murphy stated brazenly as Gustus reached into a drawer and withdrew a small box. Opening the box and there it was a glorious and shiny key. “Please …” Murphy begged. 

“It’s all right, John. Murphy. Whatever name you like to use. This is absolutely my pleasure.” Gustus replied as he inserted the key into the lock and the entire cage opened. Murphy let out a gasp of aching relief and sank down to one knee, holding himself as he did so. Their Master ran a hand over Murphy’s back, warm and strong. Murphy would later feel rather mortified at how he didn’t just end up in the older man’s arms. No, he crawled into them, feeling more needy than he had ever before in his life. He and Emori had never waned in that regard but it was nothing compared to how he felt now. He wasn’t sure how he ended up on the bed, the larger man above him, tracing fingertips over Murphy’s body. It was gentle and worshipful. The girls broke from their kisses, watching as Murphy’s body, in its new state, was displayed.

“John. You’re beautiful.” Emori whispered and his gaze snapped to her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were sparkling. With her hair a mess, he could honestly say she had never been more gorgeous. He reached for her and she melted into him. Raven let out a soft sound at the woman’s departure from her arms but Gustus was more than content to switch positions, moving over to the petite woman. 

The kisses were slow, luxurious and teasing. “I really need.” Murphy murmured quietly. He had been in a heightened state since the _treatments_ began and this kind of play had already raised the issue so to speak. “I know. I know.” Emori assured him as she moved over him, straddling his waist before edging lower. She wrapped her hand around his cock, already dripping a mess over his belly as she stroked him. “God please … Emori.” 

Emori just laughed, a wicked sound, as she shifted in her position and slowly pressed the head of his cock against the entrance to her channel and then sank, lower and lower until he was within her. Then she sat, “My needy John.” She glanced over at the other pair on the huge bed. Murphy’s gaze followed hers and he gasped at the sight of Raven with her head thrown back, her hair wild in a riot of long dark curls, and Gustus arched over her, one hand above her head and his strong body on display. Gustus’ mouth at her breast, feeding from Raven with abandon. Holy shit, Murphy thought as he wrapped his hands around Emori’s hips and started to move. Gustus’ hand was between Raven’s legs and she was panting loudly. 

Or wait, was that him? 

He was losing track. All he knew was that he really needed to … oh fuck … oh fuck … then he fell back on the bed as Emori finished riding out her pleasure on him. Before he had a chance to recover, he heard Raven scream and his gaze flicked to her. She came, hard and shuddering and that was before Gustus sank his cock into her. Then she bucked and bounced under him. 

He and Emori watched, still entwined together as Raven was ridden to another orgasm. The man rolled to his side and lay there breathing hard, Raven’s head pillowed on his chest. Lifting one arm, he slid it under Murphy’s shoulders and pulled him and Emori in closer. Murphy could smell the heat of him and it was making his head spin. All of it was intoxicating but no less so than Gustus’ words, “Welcome home.” 

Yeah, home didn’t sound all that bad right now. Not bad at all.

**_Echo_**

Echo had earned back her privileges at last and it felt good to walk on the grounds again. Mistress Anya continued to be incredibly strict with her pair and she had to admit that the balance of attention had finally hit a satisfactory point for Echo. She didn’t quite realize how needy she was. Was this how she always was or were these changes that they had wrought in her? Clothing fit differently with her adjusted breasts and increased sensitivity and was always a bit more sheer than she liked. Wearing a long sweater over a pair of loose trousers that she stole from Bellamy’s side of the closet, Echo made her way through the gardens and stumbled across the man seated on a low wooden bench. He was staring into the distance and she recognized the pensive look on his lovely face.

Sliding into the bench next to him, she placed her hand on his back and touched her chin to his shoulder, “Bell?” She stated quietly, “Are you okay?” He looked at her through hazy eyes, “I should miss everyone else more, shouldn’t I? I realized this morning I hadn’t thought about anyone else other than you and her and this place for days. I don’t know if they are safe or being treated well. I just feel so consumed by everything that is happening to us, you know? When I was on the Ring, I thought about Clarke and Octavia and all our friends on the ground every day. I didn’t miss a single day, and now, I wake up and my thoughts are immediately taken up by her and you.” 

Echo let out a huff of breath and then laughed. “It’s not funny Echo.” Bellamy stated brusquely, “I took care of them. I helped keep us together. Years. On the ground. On the Ring. I fucked it up plenty I know but I … I ….” 

“Bellamy,” she interrupted firmly, “I know. You are wonderful and yes, you do everything you can for people. You’ve been taking care of someone else since you were six years old. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was about that age too. Then I met you and finally I let someone else take care of me. You.” Bellamy laughed a little and opened his mouth to speak, “Let me finish.” Echo stated and Bellamy nodded, closing his mouth again.

“I hate that they have changed us in this way. It makes me feel crazy and sensitive and needy in ways I have never been, not once in my life. It makes me crave things I don’t even know how to express.”

“The spankings….” Bellamy murmured.

Echo laughed and her cheeks flushed, “Do you know how much I love them… not the caning that was … that was … punishment but when you put me over your knee, especially when she is watching.” She closed her eyes and let out a big sigh of pure pleasure. “But also the neediness, the comfort I feel here, I know it is what they did to us and I know this whole bonding thing is manufactured but it still feels so real. It is real, isn’t it? I don’t know.”

Bellamy nudged her shoulder, “So I see you’ve been thinking the same thing as me.” He turned his head toward her and smiled as she did. Leaning in, he kissed her softly. “So let’s make a point of talking about our friends, every day, yeah? Even if just for a bit. We will not forget them, no matter what they have done to mess with our heads. We’ll see them soon, right? Summer is heading toward an end I think. Days are getting a bit cooler. God, I hope they give us more clothes when it gets colder.”

She laughed at that, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him into the line of her body, “If they don’t, I’ll keep you warm.” 

**_Raven_**

Raven felt like she was starting to lose track of her days again. Master Gus, as she had taken to calling him, let them do pretty much as they pleased around the island. Emori had discovered the man’s books and records were in appalling disarray and had appointed herself to get them organized. She was only a third of the way through his office, mostly because of the frequent interruptions. Murphy had taken over the kitchen and had made friends with the local brewer. He was actually enjoying himself, which seemed novel, but it lifted her heart to see him having fun. It had taken her a little longer to find something to fill her time, largely because with an extra two thousand years of time to develop their tech had left her with the need to play catch up. You’d think, with all these technological advancements, they’d find a way to make the _treatments_ less excruciating then, she couldn’t help but scoff to herself.

Master Gus left them to their own devices more than she expected. He was one of only a few physicians in the area and the only one on the island itself. Everyone seemed to need a piece of him. It was probably the least restricted she had been in her life in terms of her time, except for the feedings. Now that they occurred regularly, the extreme discomfort was gone and although it was easy to push her sensitivity over the line to the point of pain, it wasn’t bad at all. She hated to admit it, but she kind of liked when they fed from her now. 

She felt needy and greedy as she thought it but it meant they had to come and see her several times a day. They had to be with her and take care of her. Their Master always made it a little sweet, calling her pretty and cuddling her afterwards. It usually ended in sex. Okay, to be fair, it had yet not to end in sex. She loved interrupting his work day because his expression would go from almost grumpy with his work tasks to warm and welcoming. It was fucked up and totally manufactured, she knew that, but at the same time, he looked so happy and it was nice to make him happy. 

The sight of Emori at her breast made her thighs clench and her core drip with liquid heat. Emori usually took the mid-morning feeding, curling up with her in the sunshine and making it soft and tender. It allowed her to fill in all those delightful fantasies she had had of Emori since she had fallen in love with her. She could just touch and cuddle Emori without restriction or restraint, which was exceptional.

Murphy, however, was an absolute bastard about it, in the best possible and worst possible way. He didn’t just feed from her. It wasn’t sweet and cuddly like it was with the Master or tender and affectionate with Emori. Oh no, he teased her, tormented her and worst of all, disciplined her. It was humiliating and wonderful all at the same time. It was mid-afternoon today when she wandered into the kitchen to find Murphy paging through an old recipe book and stirring something as music flooded the room. 

“Hey Reyes. Done tinkering for the day?” Murphy asked pleasantly, not really looking up from the book. “Give me a minute and I’ll take care of you.” 

“It isn’t just tinkering you know. I’m trying to figure out how we communicate with the Eligius IV because I still give a shit about them.” she explained crisply. She was exasperated that he clearly didn’t listen to her when she spoke. 

He looked up at her and nodded at the countertop. “Hands.”

Raven blanched, “Murphy. No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.” He didn’t appear to be listening as he put the pot he was stirring to one side and flicked off the burner. Then he reached into the drawer and pulled out a wooden spoon. She swallowed hard. 

“Now or I can ask everyone to come in to watch.” Murphy continued and as he looked at her, she felt the heat in his gaze like a flicker of flame over her skin. 

“I’m sorry.” She found herself whimpering as she flattened her hands on the counter and drew in a ragged breath. The first spank landed and she couldn’t help herself, she moaned. Fuck, why did that feel so good? The first five landed over the curve of her ass and by the time he was done, she was panting. Then he reached around her body to unclasp her waistband and tug down the fabric to bare her body. “Please.” she whispered.

“Please what?” Murphy challenged as he cupped her ass. 

“Please spank me.” Raven’s voice was barely audible. 

“I swear you come here and get sassy because you want this…”

“I … I might.”

“Just ask next time.” He cupped the back of her head and pulled her into a soft kiss. Teasing her with the brush of his nose against her cheek, she gasped as he growled in her ear, “You’re making a mess, my little brat.” 

Glancing down she noticed that her breasts had leaked through her top and her pussy had fluids gathered and smeared over her inner thighs. She was about to reply when the wooden spoon cracked over her ass again and she shuddered and squealed. By the time he was done, she could barely hold herself upright. 

“Feel better?” Murphy asked, his hand rubbing the curve of her bottom as he spoke, all of his attention on her. She loved Emori but when she was in the room, Murphy’s focus was primarily on her. When he was spanking her, Raven had all of his attention. He turned her in his arms and slipped his arms around her waist, picking her up and placing her on the counter. As if this had given her permission to just let herself worship this man, her Murphy, she cupped his face. Her lips dusted along his jaw and down his cheekbone. She opened her eyes slowly to find Murphy hadn’t moved, just standing in her arms, allowing her to kiss him. She met his gaze and the heat within surprised her. “Murphy?” 

“Just let me hold you, okay?.” he whispered and then put his hand over her mouth, “Don’t …. Don’t say anything. I just need you to be here.” She nodded behind the hand and let her eyes fall closed again. The intensity in his eyes and in his voice had stunned her and she wanted to say something, anything, but he asked her for quiet. Why? She was confused. The feelings did not subside as she felt his lips latch on and start to draw from her. She whimpered quietly and clung to him as he held her close. He fed from one breast and then the other and her bottom ached from the cool stone of the countertop and the press of Murphy in her arms. For the first time, he didn’t fuck her after, just stood there with her for a moment before slowing dressing her again and getting her into her brace. 

“Dinner will be a bit late tonight.” He informed her as he helped her down to her feet. “Let the others know, please.” 

“Okay.” she replied quietly, feeling uncertain as she walked away. She glanced back as she was about to leave the room and he was scrubbing down the counter and there was something in the tension and line of his body that had her convinced she had missed a moment or spoiled it somehow. 

Biting her lip, she headed up the stairs to the office. Maybe a cuddle with Emori would make her feel better.

**_Emori_**

Emori looked up as Master Gus showed her the small instrument, “So this is the tester. Makes things nice and simple. The programming panel is here. So, this indicates where you select what you are testing.” The man then tipped the machine to show Murphy, who nodded agreeably. “So, if you set it to pregnancy test and it can test as soon as seven to ten days after conception. That said, many pregnancies that early do not continue to term. However, it can be instrumental in determining whether conception is possible or if something else is happening to prevent the pregnancy from continuing.” he explained.

She was quite fascinated by the small machine and fiddled with the buttons. “Does it hurt?” she asked with interest. 

“No more than a pinprick. It withdraws a blood sample quickly. I recommend the arm, upper thigh or finger. It is a light sting and then all done. The test usually reads in less than a minute. Wanna try it? I want John to have a go so he can do a test on you should I be away at the time you suspect you might be carrying.” Master Gus continued and then glanced up as Raven entered the room. 

“Hey Reyes. Nifty bit of tech here. You might like this one.” Murphy invited and slipped his arm around her shoulders and drew her in close. Emori noticed some tension was there but she had long stopped managing her lover’s relationships with others. She couldn’t fix his prickly ways and trying only led to them arguing, which was not worthwhile. 

“Okay so me first and then John can try on Raven.” Emori suggested and smiled as the others agreed with her. Folding up her sleeve, she felt the machine brush her arm as the older man dusted a kiss over her cheek. It snapped against her arm and she flinched. It was nowhere as close to painful as the _treatments_ , which was a blissful relief. The machine processed quickly and soon had a red light glowing. 

“So no surprise there. Not pregnant.” Master Gus explained as he dismantled the head and showed them how to attach a new one. Everyone nodded and it certainly did look straightforward. He turned it off and passed it to Murphy. He and Raven peered at it as he turned it on and switched it to the pregnancy test option. “What’s Hubie Disease?” Murphy asked, noting one of the other panels.

“It is a disease from a tick that is all too common in our summer and autumn seasons. Treatable if caught early but can be debilitating if left untreated. If you ever get a circle of purple bites, let me know.” Master Gus explained.

“Could have mentioned that before.” Murphy stated with a frown,

“I pretty much look at every part of you daily. I can’t imagine not noticing.” Their master replied and then laughed as Murphy’s cheeks flamed to a dull red. 

“Okay fair point.” He glanced down at Raven. “Ready to try this?” 

“Sure. Go for it.” Raven replied as she tugged up her sleeve. The snap was sharp but not terribly painful and she laughed as Murphy kissed the tender spot left behind. The machine flashed but this time it wasn’t red. 

“What does the blue mean?” Emori asked with curiosity.

Master Gus had been playing with the packaging and hadn’t been watching. “What? That couldn’t be possible. You’ve only been here a couple of weeks.” He reached for the machine with shaking hands.

“Master Gus? Is Raven okay?” Emori asked worriedly as Murphy pulled the other brunette into his arms as if he could somehow protect her from whatever news was indicated by that blue light.

“Yeah …” the older physician murmured, appearing to be in shock, “Raven’s pregnant. Early days but … pregnant. I’ve … I’ve never heard of anyone getting pregnant the first month before. I’m … this is … amazing.” 

Emori stared in shock and then reached over to pull Raven into her arms. “A baby! Raven!” Her friend seemed utterly astonished as Murphy and Emori took turns hugging her. Finally she broke away from them to approach Master Gus. 

“It’s early days.” he cautioned quietly, “I don’t want you to do anything extreme. What will happen, will happen, but the fact that you conceived this quickly is astonishing.” He cupped Raven’s face and pulled her into a soft kiss. “You are an amazing girl.”

“I’m a little scared.” Raven confessed and the other two circled around her. It was a loving cuddle between three people who loved her, as much as they could, anyway. 

“We are all here and we’ll take good care of you, if you let us. I promise Raven.” Emori assured and kissed Raven’s soft pout, “We're all here with you, no matter what happens with this pregnancy or anything else.” Raven met these words with tearful nods before turning to press her face into their Master’s chest. It was ridiculous but it also felt like the safest place to be at this moment. Emori didn’t blame her, she also felt much safer when Master Gus was there with them and she suspected John felt the same, although she was sure he would deny it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to DialedIn for her editing assistance and overall encouragement with this work.


	5. Attachment

**_“The universe is bringing our dreams to life, but unfortunately, it is also bringing our nightmares that little bit closer as well.”_ **

**_Anya_**

The regal woman strode through her front doors as she shrugged out of her long jacket. The weather had taken a turn already. It would be an early autumn this year. Good. She would not regret her upcoming time alone with her pretty pair, they were so delightful. She had spotted them in the program and knew she had to have Echo. That ferocity! How could anyone resist having such a Mama for their children?

She had been quite ambivalent about having children to be fair. Taking over the compound had been a political battle of wills that had tried her wit and her patience. In her pursuit she had forged strong allies - Gustus, Lexa and Lincoln. She was still working on several of the other Masters. Not everyone crossed over to her camp easily or had interest in politics at all. She had debated pursuing Sanctum but she knew she’d never have the patience to run the auctions. Pretty mewling weak creatures held no appeal for her and she knew it would bring out only her darkest tendencies.

It was rather intriguing how in the short span of having her pair she already felt herself shifting, softening in a strange way. Oh, Echo could be a fiery brat but she had to admit that it amused more than it offended. Bellamy though. Oh Bellamy, was such a sweet boy. The way he watched their lovely Echo. She could see the lust in his eyes but there was also something more, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Echo was understandable. Her loyalty was first to Bellamy and then the rest of her friends. It was a blessedly small group and she didn’t spend an overly long time whining about those left behind on the ship. Her focus was more on the others on the ground. Most of them belonged to Gustus and therefore it was rather easy to assure her darling pair that their trio of friends were doing well. Gustus could be stern but he did not have her ruthless edge. He would coddle his little trio and allow them as much freedom as possible within the bounds permitted by their system of governance. 

Anya pushed open the door to her suite and stepped into her massive walk-in closet, tossing her jacket into a low chair for cleaning as she stripped out of her riding trousers and soft sweater. Pulling on a thick robe, she burst from the room with long strides. 

“Mistress?” she heard the voice but it irked her when Bellamy sounded tentative. She had never hurt him after all and only disciplined Echo as needed and desired. She saw the lust on the beauty’s face when she was punished. She was no fool and if she had to organize a spanking every month around her cycle to ensure the pregnancy caught, she would do it.

“Mistress!” The voice was firmer now. Good. With a slow smile warming her features, Anya turned on her heel and looked at Bellamy. “I was about to go have a swim. Did you need something?”

“It’s Echo.” His voice broke over her name and Anya’s smug pleasure faded instantly. 

“What does our Echo need?” she asked quietly, the authority in her voice unmistakable but the concern radiated through her words as well, more concern than she was ordinarily comfortable with conveying.

“You. I think she needs you.” 

The pain in his voice worried Anya. She closed the distance between them and reached up to touch his cheek in a light caress. “Then take me to her.” she instructed. The boy, such a darling boy, nodded and directed her further down the hall. She had given each of them their own room because she did believe everyone deserved a little space of their own. It was simply good for the soul. Now, that said, she also expected them to sleep most, or really all, nights in her bed. She liked going to sleep with them right there and waking in the sunny haze of day with their warmth beside her. She knew in winter, when most of her work took place in the office down the hall, that she would delay their mornings all the further just for a few extra minutes of them together. 

Anya, however, didn’t mind if they wished to nap, recline or simply fuss about in their own space. They were certainly entitled to it. Echo’s room was empty and she glanced back at Bellamy, a question evident in the lift of her brow and the tilt of her head. Bellamy waved a hand toward the washing room. 

The Mistress opened the door slowly. None of them had locks. Her own people would never steal from her so it honestly never occurred to her. Echo sat in the large tub, water up to her shoulders and there were tears upon her face. 

Spotting her, the young women exclaimed, “Oh no… Bell … you shouldn’t have…” 

Anya held up a hand to hush the woman and nodded at her. “Of course he should.” she murmured as she took a seat on the edge of the tub and reached out a hand to run over the damp strands of her darling Echo. 

“What is wrong, my dear? Tell me, please.” She had never used that word with either of them before and as if this sudden kindness was too much, Echo broke into fresh sobs. Bellamy lurked in the doorway, unsure what to do and how to assist.

She glanced up and sighed. Men. Honestly. Some things never changed. “Well strip off and get in with her. She obviously needs you.” She ordered crisply. As if pleased to have an instruction, the boy immediately set to work peeling off his clothing. Now usually, she enjoyed the delightful sight but this time her attention immediately snapped back to the weeping girl.

“Tell me?” she invited quietly.

“It’s stupid. I’m sorry. I’m useless. Broken. I can … I’m not …” the girl stammered out. Anya took a breath and then nodded. There were some downsides to the _treatments_ and this was one. Increased emotionality. Her poor little firecracker. 

“You’re not pregnant.” Anya stated quietly. Echo just wept all the harder and seemed to flinch away from her touch. “Darling girl. It may take us a long time to get you pregnant. Why do you think we force you to endure all those terrible _treatments_? My world does not make conception easy and I cannot bear it if you are so distressed every month. It has only been three months.”

“But … but the harvest … it's only a couple weeks away and you said ... ” Echo managed to get out between gasps of air. The water sloshed as Bellamy entered the tub and Anya nodded at him approvingly as his arms circled the distressed girl. 

“The bet? It is just a silly bet and I’d rather have you and keep trying with you than anything or anyone else. I haven’t been tempted by a single woman in over a decade. You are my delight. I adore you. Surely you know this.” Anya murmured gently.

Echo blinked and looked up at her. Oh, her dear face was such a mess. It was fixed then. She loved the girl. Oh goodness, how had she managed to get herself in this condition! But adoring a girl with a face as puffy eyed and weepy as this one meant only one thing. The Mistress bent over the tub and kissed the top of her head. “It is all those nasty drugs we gave to you making you feel so dreadful, my darling pet, and I am sorry for it. Not that you are here mind you, just that you are in such turmoil. I suspect this is rather new for you.”

Confused, Echo nodded slowly, “I just … I thought I might be … I was a couple days late and then it came and all I could think is that we would go and not be pregnant and you might trade us in or something and I was letting you down and I just ….” She opened her mouth and closed it again as her chest heaved with another sob. Bellamy tugged her in close, her head pillowed on his shoulder as she wept again. This was clearly unlike her as Bellamy, her lover of over three or four years, Anya hadn’t really been listening, seemed confused. 

Reaching forward, she traced a hand over his cheek. “I wouldn’t trade you. Either of you. Ever. And three months? Oh goodness you think I am strict indeed. It might take us a year or maybe two and I am prepared to put the work in, my dear. Now come on, out of that tub. Bellamy can dry you off. We can get into bed and have some lovely snuggles. Bellamy can rub your back and I’ll order the cook to serve our meals there. How does that sound?” 

Echo nodded but still clung to Bellamy. Anya sighed to herself. “I am going to have a quick rinse as I rather smell of horses right now. When I get back, Bellamy I expect you to have our Echo tucked into bed. Am I making myself quite clear?” 

His voice was gravelly and soft as he replied, “Yes, Mistress. I’ll have her in there.”

“Good boy.” 

**_Bellamy_**

Bellamy rolled over in the bed and reached out a hand to smooth back Echo’s dark blonde strands. He toyed with them lightly, soothing himself. She turned in her sleep, as she so often did and tucked herself into his arms all the further. Just last week she had been a wreck. He had honestly never seen her like that, not even after everything that had been through together. Their Mistress credited the _treatments_ and he hated them anew. Fucking with their bodies was one thing, fucking with their emotions was another.

His gaze flicked to their Mistress. In her sleep, she looked shockingly vulnerable, something he would never say to her face. She might slap him or stab him. He honestly wasn’t sure. It was interesting to hear in a decade no one had tempted her before Echo. What did that mean for him though? Was he the cock-accessory or was he important too? What if he was credited for the failure? He was certain he would not be able to tolerate being forced out of this bed and watching as some other man got Echo pregnant. The thought made him heart-sick. He had lost so much. He was so tired of losing.

Bellamy was ashamed to say it aloud but he was disappointed by the lack of pregnancy too. Something about the arrival of a baby, their baby, who would grow up in this home, with this insane woman as the other mother, with all these amazing places to go and things to do. It awed him. His child would have a life that he had only fantasized about and that child would never have to live, scared every day, of what could happen. They would only know a family that loved them and a community that accepted them.

He let his mind drift to the others. Fuck, he hoped Murphy was okay. He could imagine some Master getting real sick of his shit if he wasn’t careful. And Emori! Emori was so soft really. Such a tough woman and yet just soft. She deserved a home that was real. He hoped they weren’t mistreating her, because of her hand or hell, worse still, because of her love for Murphy. Bellamy huffed out a sigh and remembered that Raven was also with them. His mind spun over the others - Miller and Jackson, Clarke, and fucking hell, his sister. She made him crazy in every way and he wasn’t at all sure he forgave her for everything that happened on Earth. He wasn’t sure he ever would. 

This place had tortured them, changed them, broken them up and sold them away. Yet, still he grieved the fact that he had yet to provide a child to his owner. Mistress Anya owned him. It was something he could not allow himself to forget despite the luxuriousness of her home or the privileges he was now afforded. 

He was still awake when the sun rose, illuminating the bed and drawing the two women from their sleep. Echo tipped her head up and smiled at him. “Morning.” he whispered. 

“Morning.” she replied quietly. “Do you need?” Bellamy groaned and nodded. Morning wood, a common male issue, was now a real problem. He literally couldn’t get out of bed without some relief. Echo’s mouth was his favourite in the morning. He just wanted to pour himself into her and have her swallow him down. Was it fucked up? Yes, absolutely. He felt the touch to his cheek, just as Echo’s head disappeared beneath the covers. 

“Good morning Mistress.” He whispered but didn’t turn to look at her. It was so tempting. She struck him as beautiful all the time but the morning, before she had applied her makeup and attired herself, she looked human, real and vulnerable. She looked as beautiful to him as the first time he saw her, dressed to the nines as his mother used to say, and terrifying. 

The morning was the only time of day Bellamy was close to confessing that he loved this woman, this glorious and intimidating woman. She kissed him and his head fell back with a groan as his eyes closed. Her mouth claimed his but it was not a rough or hasty kiss. No, she knew how to make it linger, to trap him with desire. She teased him with flicks of her tongue and delicate presses of her lips. She nipped his bottom lip, gave it a tug and then released only to then kiss his top lip with such softness that he felt it spooling into his soul. He was writhing as Echo sucked his cock and his Mistress teased his mouth. He was possessed. He groaned as he filled Echo’s mouth and felt her cleaning him off with long, slow strokes and flicks of her tongue. Finally her head came to rest on his abdomen and he threaded a hand into her hair. 

“Good girl Echo.” He heard his Mistress praise his lover. He wanted to feel possessive of her but he actually only felt pride that Anya was pleased with his Echo. She was a good girl. His good girl. Their good girl. He just couldn’t contain that bitter longing for the same from their Mistress. Do you love me too, he wanted to ask but the words were frozen. He had already noted that their Mistress was not one for softness from her pair. Anya kissed him again and then slipped out of bed, tugging Echo with her for a hot shower together. He knew what they would get up to in there and just lay still for a moment, trying to contain this strange sense of bitterness that lay in his chest. Even being a slave wasn’t easy. Fucking hell, his life was such bullshit sometimes.

**_Echo_**

It had been a strange roller coaster of emotions over the last few weeks. When her monthly didn’t arrive on time, she felt a kindling of hope flicker to life. She had never wanted children before coming to Sanctum. Sadly she would never know if she would have experienced a change of heart on her own. They had ‘treated’ her, fucking with her head, emotions and body. The body she could easily forgive because that pain was temporary or manageable. However the other parts were far less forgivable. It was a myriad of contradictory emotions. She’d love to challenge Roan to a battle and put his head on a spike outside the doors of Sanctum. At the same time, the idea of parting with her Mistress was untenable.

In the beginning she conditioned herself to repeat the refrain that it was all false. It meant nothing. The connection she felt was feigned. However, as her monthly arrived almost five days late, after five delicious days of spiralling hopes, she was devastated. She had fallen apart like she had never permitted herself before in her life. She had been unable to suppress the pain. 

Bellamy had been unable to soothe her. The confusion and heartache only cleared when Anya was there. Her Mistress was not a particularly soft woman. To be fair, neither was Echo. Poor Bellamy was trapped with two women composed of spikes and shields. Yet, when her Mistress assured her of the depth of her regard, that there was time and credited her distress, rightfully, to the _treatments_ , Echo felt soothed and loved. 

Afterward she had laid in her Mistress’ arms with Bellamy at her back and listened to her languorous and steady heartbeat and she knew she was home. She’d fight to return here and would not permit anyone to take her away. She prayed to whatever deity existed and which she was never sure she believed in, that Anya meant her words. She needed this to be real. For once, she needed to be sure of someone and something. She had Bellamy but a piece of her would forever wonder if their relationship was forged more on his desperation rather than a genuine connection. No matter how many times he repeated that he loved her, still she kept that grain of doubt. However, with Anya, she had a hundred choices over many years and she had waited until she found Echo. It was incredibly twisted and Echo knew that, but there was something wonderful about being special. 

The luggage was loaded into the vehicle and Echo paced next to it. Anya wasn’t out yet and Echo was worrying despite herself. “Do you think Murphy’s okay? I hope he’s there. I worry about him so much. He can be such an idiot sometimes and Raven, you know, she’s not like other people. Some people are really intimidated by intelligence but she’s actually kind of fragile, you know. Unsure. And Emori …” Before she could continue, Bellamy’s hands came up to her shoulders and pulled her into a warm hug. “They will be there and we will find out soon. Murphy can be an ass but he’s smart and wouldn’t do anything to endanger Emori or Raven. He’ll play along with just about anything if it keeps them safe.”

Bellamy pulled her in tightly and she felt her breasts ache from the pressure, which sent a ribbon of fire to her pussy. She was well aware that neither she nor Bellamy would make it all the way to Sanctum without engaging in some kind of play. They had dressed accordingly, in easy to remove clothing that could be shifted or adjusted to allow them to fuck. At least their Mistress and the driver would enjoy the show. 

“Here she comes.” Bellamy murmured and Echo turned her head. 

Anya strode from the building with her gown swirling around her in the light breeze. It was a dark velvet fabric that cut in at the shoulders and tapered to a full skirt. Her boots came to mid-thigh and between the swirling fabric and high boots, it was a picture of elegance and lust the likes of which Echo had never seen before. 

“She’s ….” Echo started. 

“Ours.” Bellamy finished.

Echo turned to him and smiled, “Ours.” she agreed with a nod.

Anya came to a stop and smiled at her pretty pair. “All set for the trip. I’d like to get there before nightfall so please … everyone in, let’s get going.”

“Yes, Mistress.” They replied, unintentionally in unison. Bellamy laughed and held the door for his Mistress and then Echo to slip inside. He glanced back at the elegant manor house and its surrounding lands. He nodded to himself as he climbed inside. He’d be home soon enough. First, he needed to go see his friends, his other family, before he came back here to make one for himself with these two incredible women.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to DialedIn for the awesome edits and of course your endless support and friendship. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter about Bellamy/Anya /Echo. I look forward to any thoughts and constructive critique you may have of my interpretation of these lovely nuggets.


	6. Subversion

**_“If you look into someone else’s dreams, all you ever find are nightmares.”_ **

**_Eric_**

Nathan closed the door behind him and settled opposite Eric at the table. Leaning in for a soft kiss, he then pulled a warm cup of tea over and held it between his palms as he considered his lover. “So …”

God he loved this man, Eric thought with a spike of pure affection, “It worked again. No problems again this month. I also spiked the embryos that they have ready for implantation while we are away.” He explained cheerfully. 

After the pregnancy plan was explained to him by Ilian, Eric had been stymied. He could see Nathan didn’t want this and there was already a rift between him and their new Master over the issue. New Master. The words were toxic in his mouth and in his mind. Oh, he felt drawn to Ilian but he ruthlessly reminded himself every time he started to feel himself get swayed that it wasn’t real. None of it was real. This man was not a good person, no matter how much he pretended to be. Eric would never again follow anyone or be subject to the whims of another. He might not be a soldier like his love, Nathan, but this was a battle that did not require strength of arms. Rather it required scientific knowledge, an ability to lie through his teeth and of course, strength of will.

The last was the hardest part to muster. Ilian made it so tempting to be his. He felt so good in his bed and in his arms. Their home was incredible. The community was set along the river’s edge with a deep, flat valley behind. Ilian’s people grew food and medicinal plants. They raised horses. It was not a large community but it was run by Ilian’s elder brother, a jovial and welcoming man with only one child that he clearly prized above all else in his life. While the brother’s home was set deep in the valley, Illian’s home was at the water’s edge, giving the daily illusion of freedom and escape. 

Eric was immediately given the opportunity to run the clinic. He spent hours getting to know the five clerks, two pharmacists and three nurses that worked there. They lacked a lab technician and physician. Fortunately, these were skills Eric possessed. Strangely it was rather delightful to work without Abby’s oversight. He missed her. However, for once, he was in charge and things were set his way and no other’s. 

Then Ilian presented his two surrogates. Admittedly they were lovely young women, both taking part in the arrangement to then have the opportunity to have children with their lovers. Given that they both had a strong preference for other women, natural conception was not likely. It was something Eric understood given his own orientation. In any other circumstance, he might have been delighted to have a child with Nathan. 

As a slave however, no. No. Absolutely not. He would not be tempted by this cage, no matter how gilded or how much his body and mind craved this connection with Ilian. The sex was incredible and he did long for Ilian’s presence in his life. He seemed kind but Eric refused to be fooled. The man owned him. The man owned Nathan. Nathan had told him once he never wanted to have children and it was a decision Eric respected. He would not allow Ilian or anyone else to take away his lover’s wishes. 

So he set to work. It was challenging to subtly add just the right components to the fertilized embryo to prevent attachment. Fortunately his time on the Ark served him well. They had spent years preventing conception or disposing of the unwanted fetus if an unwelcome conception occurred. He and Abby had illicitly practiced this particular feat numerous times. Now it was no different. The Ark was strict enough that it made them all good liars. The time in the Bunker on Earth had turned him into someone he could not respect. It was time to get that back. 

“At some point he’s going to get suspicious.” Nathan pointed out and Eric sighed, “I know I might have to let the next one take and then give her some prenatals that cause a miscarriage. I hate to do that to either of them though. They are really nice people.” 

Nathan looked down and whispered, “And the others?” 

“I have got the solution for them too. I can’t stop it if they’ve already conceived but I have some meds they can take to cause a miscarriage if they want but that’ll be up to them. Anyone who wants it, I have something they can add to their food or drink without raising suspicion. It’ll prevent conception if they take it in the right time period and be out of their system shortly thereafter.” He shrugged lightly, “Pregnancy is really hard here. I’ve been hearing that numerous sets have been purchased before and years passed with no babies. I mean they say they amped our fertility but still, it wouldn’t be that strange if very few of us actually had a child.”

Nathan nodded, “Only if they want though, right?”

Eric glanced over at his lover and murmured, “Are you having second thoughts, Nathan?” There was a pause and then a shake of the head.

There was no time for further conversation as they could hear Ilian’s footsteps on the stairs so Eric did the only thing he could think of, he leaned in and kissed Nathan softly. “I’m not letting them do this to you, I promise.” he whispered. He couldn’t stop them from drugging Nathan or dragging him off to torture him, but this, this he could take care of for his man. He could be the hero for once. 

**_Nathan_**

_Are you having second thoughts?_

It was all he seemed to have any more - second thoughts, third thoughts, one hundredth thoughts. When Eric first proposed the plan to him, Nathan had readily agreed. He had never wanted to be a parent. He didn’t mind kids but being a parent was something he never considered. As he aged and life went inexplicably from bad to worse, his opinion had not shifted. Eric had agreed with him when they discussed the topic. If they felt a craving later, maybe they would take in an orphan or something. That was the extent of it.

Then he met Ilian and had been augmented by this place. It all felt like too much, coming so soon after losing the Bunker, his home, then Monty, whom he had just seen again after being separated for years. It was grief on top of pain with a finishing touch of pure fucking torture. Why did they even do this to him? He did not understand. 

Then Illian had put his arms around him and it felt good. Eric reminded him constantly that it took willpower to fight the desire to bond with Ilian. He knew that was true and yet, god, it felt incredible. His sex drive had been spiked beyond belief and every time he felt it overwhelm him, Ilian was there with touches and soothing kisses. He was the sunshine after years trapped in the dark.

Except it was all fake, wasn’t it?

Yes. Yes it was.

So the plan. First, Eric had to spike the conception of their own embryos. Then he needed to develop something they could provide to the others to help them out of their predicament too. Raven would surely have found a way by now to communicate with the ship. If she didn’t, maybe by next year. Then they could get to the drop ship, communicate with the Eligius IV and get the fuck off this planet. The best part was the people on the ship wouldn’t even have time to worry by then. They’d barely have been gone. Then Eric could work on correcting some of the augmentations. 

When he wasn’t with Ilian, he was so confident in the plan, so sure they were doing the right thing and making it work for their people. He had to care about his people and not these strangers. Except the surrogates were two nice women, who just wanted a family of their own and this was the best way to bargain for the medical interventions they needed to make that happen. Except he found himself enjoying Ilian’s company and feeling an unexpected sense of contentment here.

**_Ilian_**

Ilian was suspicious. He didn’t know precisely what he was suspicious of but something was off. He was not like Eric, with his brilliant mind and advanced education. Even though he had to catch up on their technology, Eric still managed to do so with grace. Nathan and Eric were two of the most beautiful men he had ever seen. He had been waiting, forever it seemed, but then this year’s program had arrived and his heart nearly leapt out of his chest. He had turned to the page so many times that if you dropped the booklet now, it would simply flip there automatically. 

Ilian did feel bad about the _treatments_. He didn’t know much of the specifics except they were mandatory, meant to add to their relationship and of course that they were horribly painful. His poor men. His heart just ached at the idea of them being frightened and in pain. 

While he didn’t have Nathan’s quick wit or Eric’s brilliant mind, Ilian was perceptive and a good judge of character. There was more than one reason that he had a thriving community and little requirement for strict law enforcement. His brother was a farmer and not a peacekeeper. The judicial side of matters usually fell to Ilian and he was proficient at it. Ilian sighed, a shout from the waterfront pulling him from the morose direction of his thoughts. 

The weather was growing cool and the harvest was in except for the late autumn squashes. The ships were loaded to straining and all of them had set sail, heading toward their various ports including Sanctum. Sanctum was also their destination. The Annual Harvest Gathering was soon to be underway so they needed to also get moving. After all, their community was the furthest from the others and he wanted his men to have as much time with their friends as possible. He knew that they missed them terribly and worried about them no matter how many times Ilian tried to assure them that their friends were safe and well. 

He sighed as he watched Eric loading his bags into their cabin and then Nathan telling him to just wait, that he would help, so as to prevent his lover from getting overloaded and hurting himself. It was charming. Their love for each other was endearing and he only wanted to be part of it. Somehow they were still holding themselves apart. Did the flaw fall on him? Perhaps he was not stern enough, strong enough, old enough to win them over? Had there been some flaw in the _treatments_?

Or perhaps there was something else going on entirely.

Ilian opened his bag to look down at the small, silver box. In it were the embryos that Eric had prepared for implantation. It was supposed to occur while they were away but something about them, sitting there, just raised his suspicions all the further. He had loaded them into a chilled storage container after Eric left for the ship and slipped the container into his bag. 

He knew one physician that would be willing to assist him - Gustus. He’d soon know the truth and as much as he wanted this information, he feared it. He feared what it meant and if this was just the beginning or if the treachery had already spiralled beyond his control. 

Ilian hoped he was merely spinning fantasies and fears into a terrible nightmare. Stepping onto the ship, he felt Nathan’s arms slide around his waist and turned to claim his mouth in a tender kiss.

Please let him be wrong. He never hoped to be wrong more in his life.


	7. Concessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a very smutty chapter with a little plot thrown in to keep things moving

**_“How you can be living your dreams and your nightmares at the very same time.”_ **

**_Octavia_ **

It was only now that she realized she had never experienced seasons. At least, she had never properly experienced seasons. There were none on the Ark of course. Her time on earth had been lurching from one crisis to another and she never really got the chance to just experience the simplicity of seasonal change. It was all over in a space of a few months before they were in the Bunker and she was busy trying to find a way to keep people alive.

The summer had cooled into an early autumn and she had discovered that it was possibly her favourite season. Octavia sat back on the cool grass and let it tickle her back as she stretched. It was a cool day and she was probably underdressed for the weather but she couldn’t bring herself to care at the moment. 

Her time with Lincoln had given her something she had never possessed before - peace. The territory under his dominion was quite vast but lightly populated, relative to the hustle of Sanctum. There was a town centre, like she had only seen in movies or read about in books. Lincoln himself was well respected and by extension, so was she. It didn’t feel like slavery when you could walk freely around the local community, shop in town or go riding when and where it pleased you. There only seemed to be a few rules, most of which were practical and it was hard to object, even when she was feeling like she should.

What surprised her most was how much he seemed to enjoy her company. Lincoln and his people bred, trained, and sold horses, making his primary occupation effectively to manage the extensive herd they possessed. Lincoln was teaching her how to train the animals, and believed it was fate that she would have such an affinity for the animals that were his life’s work. Last night they had been up late delivering a foal that decided to be rather troublesome about it and they had to intervene to spare the mare any needless suffering. Those kinds of things mattered to Lincoln. Was it any wonder she felt a strange kind of contentment belonging to this man? For it was a pleasure to work alongside him and be treated as if they were working as a team.

She laughed as he approached and then stretched out next to her, folding one hand behind his head as they both stared up at the early autumn sky. “Just checked on mom and baby, both are doing well.” She nodded and it did please her to have that information. Turning on her side, she tucked her head into his shoulder and his arm circled her waist, holding her close. “Ready for the trip to Sanctum?” he asked quietly.

Octavia swallowed around the lump in her throat because she desperately wanted to see Bellamy. She needed his forgiveness and she needed to know he was doing well. The others were important too but it was Bell she needed to see, Bell she needed to speak with, and Bell’s forgiveness she needed to earn. “Yeah.” she agreed quietly, her gaze returning to the sky. She mustered her courage and then whispered, “Sir? Can I … could I … ask you for something? Please?”

That hand tightened on her hip as he pressed her that much closer to him. “Of course, Octavia. What is it?” he asked, his voice full of calm assurance. It made her feel guilty because he didn’t know what she was or how many monstrous and unforgivable things she had done. Eventually she would need to share this information with him and when he turned away from her, she knew some last part of herself that was clinging to the possibility of something good out of her life would finally fade away.

“Could we not tell anyone yet? I just … it’s so new and I … I don’t want to … I don’t know, umm, jinx it or something?” The question was tentative, barely audible really if he hadn’t been snuggled up next to her. His soft chuckle was kind and she felt this well-spring of affection for him. She didn’t understand it but she certainly felt it. 

“If you don’t want to share the news about the baby yet with anyone, I will respect that and keep it to myself as well. I do hope though, before we come home, you get the chance to tell your brother. I think he should know.” Lincoln said quietly. Octavia tipped her head up and brushed a kiss under the man’s jaw.

“Are you sure?” she questioned, perhaps foolishly, “I know there is the bet and …” Lincoln’s laugh interrupted her words and she lightly punched his shoulder, “Don’t laugh at me.” Then she squealed as Lincoln rolled her over and pinned her to the ground. He dusted a kiss over her lips and then broke it off to look down at her. The look he gave was so gentle that she felt that pang of guilt again. 

“If you want to keep your pregnancy to yourself then I will honour and respect your wishes. The bet is irrelevant. Hardly anyone wins those anyway. I am not worried.” The man assured before leaning in to kiss her again. 

“Thank you, Sir.” Octavia knew she should be fighting this but god, she was so tired of fighting. It was so much easier to give in and let this man treat her with tender affection. Lincoln ducked his head to claim her lips again and then his lips started to trail lower and lower. She let her hands fall to the side and groaned with pleasure as he peeled off her clothing. They were out on the grass, in the chilly autumn air and yet, she could not think to offer a single objection as he nudged one leg up over his shoulder and flicked his tongue over her pussy. She moaned with wanton abandon as his talented mouth had her hips rising and falling, grinding against him. 

She was in bliss. Her body was always in a pitched state of desire, ever since the cruel _treatments_ in that dark and terrible room. Did she still want to kill Roan and his minions? Absolutely. Did she want to walk away from her owner and return to life aboard the Eligius IV? No. Under no circumstances did she desire that outcome. The contradiction was not lost on her. 

She did her best not to dwell. Her hand brushed over her belly on the way to cup the back of Lincoln’s head. In seven months, if all progressed well, she would be a mother. Such a wondrous and impossible thing in a lifetime made of such moments. 

Perhaps this was all the forgiveness she needed. 

**_Murphy_**

Murphy stood on the edge of the deck and watched as the light from the planet the moon orbited splashed over the water in glowing silver. The boat was well underway now, as was Raven’s pregnancy. She and Emori were tucked into the bedroom. It was the same glassed-in one from their previous trip. Of course, this time Master Gus had touched a panel in the wall and made all the windows opaque and private. The fuckers hadn’t mentioned _that_ the first time.

Feeling a hand brush down his back, he glanced up and then back out at the water. The hand didn’t stop, gently trailing back up again to cup the back of his head. Murphy found himself turning to look again. He had never perceived himself as short until he stood next to Master Gus. His head tipped up but the intensity in the Master’s gaze was too much so he glanced away again. The older man’s fingertips traced over his forehead and along his cheekbone. Murphy sighed, despite himself, as the tactile nature of his Master never failed to make him want. So much heady desire and need. Sometimes he felt as though he were drowning in it.

The soft hand brushed along his jaw just as Murphy felt the soft kiss to his forehead. He hadn’t moved or raised his hands. He just let the Master touch when and where he willed. The brush to the tip of his nose sent a shiver down his spine and the tease of Master Gus’ whiskers on his cheek as his lips brushed over his jaw was almost more than he could bear. A soft whimper rose. 

“Alright then.” That deep, gravelly voice whispered softly and then Gus turned, as if to walk away. Murphy’s hands shot up then, catching at the other man’s waist, threading fingers into his belt loops. He tugged a little and then let his hands fall. The older man caught the hint and continued on his slow worship of his face and then down his throat. Every touch burned through him.

“John.” The whispered word had his eyes fluttering open again. His Master had tried out calling him Murphy but it didn’t stick. Now Raven was the only one who called him that and he actually liked that change. He liked his Raven having a name for him that was all her own it seemed, with Emori and Gustus calling him by his first name. 

“Yes, Sir.” He replied. His desire to talk was low but being dismissive of his Master would be impossible in this particular moment. Oh he was still salty at times but Gustus seemed to find him funny and when there was no payoff of anger or irritation, it stopped being necessary to be quite so obstinate. 

“Do you want to go somewhere a little more private?” 

See that was the shit that really fucked with his head. Murphy wanted to hate this man. He really did. And every fucking day, his Master made it impossible. Murphy nodded slowly. Master Gus’s powerful arm slid over his shoulders and Murphy allowed himself to be pulled along into a small chamber. It had a seating area and a low bench. There were tables. The room was glassed-in as well and clearly intended to be a small sitting room or recreational space, probably in the event of bad weather. Gus pressed a panel and although the room dimmed a little, he could still see out onto the water. He glanced up with a question in his eyes. 

“They can’t see in. We can see out.” The older man explained before throwing the bolt to lock the room. “There … now I can have my wicked way with you.” Murphy found himself laughing and half hating himself for it. He was embarrassed by how much he liked Gus and how much he feared what the others would say when they realized how pathetic he had become. It was a visceral sort of shame and it had been keeping him up nights since they started the final preparations to leave. 

Gus cupped the back of his head and Murphy let his eyes flutter closed. Yes. This was the distraction he desperately craved. As the older man’s lips resumed their teasing kisses, Murphy let his hands come up and rest against Gus’ broad chest. He could feel the radiant warmth of his Master’s skin through the soft fabric of his shirt and suddenly he resented that barrier, that intrusion between his hands and Gus’ warmth. He plucked at the shirt until the older man took the hint and tugged it off. Leaning in Murphy pressed a soft trio of kisses over the older man’s heart. Then he stepped back to peel off his own shirt. His pants followed and he shoved them away eagerly along with his socks and shoes until he stood bare before his Gus, his Master. 

The touch was so gentle over his skin that it made him shake inside and his belly dance. Usually one of the girls was there and, as such, they were rarely alone. It made everything feel more fraught and yet more powerful. “Please Sir.” he asked and then paused, unsure what he was requesting. Master Gus nodded and reached into his pocket to withdraw a small bottle and set it on the edge of a table. Then he stripped. For his age, the man was beautiful. He towered over Murphy with broad shoulders that tapered down to strong hips and powerful thighs. Murphy found himself tracing his fingertips down the older man’s chest to his thick cock, which he palmed and then just held, leaning in to rest his cheek against Gus’ warm chest. He could hear the dull thud of the man’s heart. Gus’ hand traced along Murphy’s spine to cup the nape of his neck.

Gus pulled him up and Murphy found himself rising up to his tiptoes to meet a heated kiss. He groaned into the kiss, his body starting to tremble, as Gus’ other hand slid forward to cup Murphy’s ass. A light squeeze had Murphy pressing himself against Gus’ broad frame. “Oh god…” he groaned as he broke the kiss. He just wanted to get fucked now but Gus was clearly intent on making this excruciatingly slow. Murphy was sure the man was trying to kill him with these teasing touches. 

The man slid down to his knees and pressed soft kisses to Murphy’s shoulder and down his chest. Murphy groaned, his body trembling against Gus despite his efforts to contain the need coursing through his veins. The lust burned brightly in him and he was putty in Gus’ hands. Picking up the bottle, Murphy offered it up with pleading kisses along the older man’s chest and shoulder. The man laughed quietly and then tugged Murphy back to claim his lips in another heated kiss. 

He heard the bottle being uncapped and Murphy groaned against Gus, his hands touching the older man feverishly, caressing every inch that he could reach. Then his head fell back with a soft moan as he felt the press of Gus’ fingers between his cheeks and the intrusion of the slick fingertips against his puckered entrance. “Please.” he whimpered. Later Murphy would be mortified at how he grovelled but at the moment, he could not have cared less.

The older man turned him slowly as he stroked Murphy open and bent him forward. Murphy’s hands gripped the back of the chair. He could see the sparkly water in the distance just as he felt the head of Gus’ cock pressed against his entrance. He closed his eyes and just let himself feel. He pushed back as much as Gus pressed forward and it was too much, just enough and everything all at once. Murphy’s knees shook and he had to grip the chair hard to keep upright as Gus fucked him. The older man cupped his face and pulled him upright and brushed a kiss over Murphy’s panting lips. He had no restraint left. Wrapping his hand around his own cock, he let Gus keep him upright as he stroked himself to completion, groaning into each kiss. The pleasure coursed through him and he would have collapsed had Gus not been holding him. The man filled him again and again, a merciless bastard with far too much control. Murphy found himself pitched forward again, his abdomen pressed into the back of the seat as Gus rode out his pleasure in him before the heat filled him from his release. He came with an inarticulate shout and the whisper of Murphy’s name on his lips. It sent a victorious thrill through him to know this was the power that he held over this authoritative man. 

The shameful feelings had been chased away and Murphy was now exhausted. He let Gus clean him up and carry him back to their suite, tucking him into bed next to the girls. Raven’s slightly distended abdomen brushed against his as he curled around her and she snuggled into him. With sleepy eyes, Murphy watched as Gus slipped into the other side of the bed and spooned Emori. He waited for that rush of jealousy but finding none, he closed his eyes and finally let himself rest. Tomorrow they would arrive in Sanctum for the evening meal. 

**_Clarke_**

It wasn’t intentional. At least not at first. Clarke was brought down to the clinic where the medical team was assembled to aid the implantation. While there, it became apparent that this physician and her medical team were not aware that Clarke possessed some medical knowledge of her own. Some discussion had arisen and they left Clarke alone in the examination room. They didn’t even talk directly to her, only to Lexa. It was insulting and humiliating.

Her legs felt shaky from the several rounds of sex she had had with Lexa already today. Still, it felt good to walk around. Clarke slid down to her feet and started looking through the containers and bottles lining the shelf. Many of which she did not recognize and she was curious as to their purpose. Then she spotted it - a chemical compound that she recognized. It had a number of side effects including … Clarke’s gaze drifted to the waiting embryos. 

Should she?

The idea of defying Lexa like this was hard. However, she had only been in her company a short time. Her thoughts turned to Madi and everyone else still on the ship. She missed the girl she thought of as her daughter like a piece of her soul was missing. Resolved she crossed the floor and added two drops of the fluid and then hastily recapped the bottle and put it on the shelf. Returning to the medical bed, she settled upon it and waited for everyone to return. The decision was made. 

The first month failed and Lexa looked resolute but sad. Clarke hated to put that look in her Mistress’ eyes and yet, when the next month came, she managed to do it again. The third time was much more difficult to organize and Clarke was wondering how much longer she could keep this up. She was determined not to get pregnant as she also knew that once she was, she’d have no options left. Perhaps if she failed enough Lexa would set her free. They would get back to the drop ship and leave this insane place.

Of course, Clarke needed a better method than the one she was currently using. Her brain turned over the problem but she couldn’t find a resolution. How to prevent a pregnancy without alerting the woman who controlled every minute of her day and who wanted nothing more than for Clarke to become pregnant. She still wasn’t sure why Lexa wasn’t carrying her own child if she wanted one so badly but it wasn’t a question she was bold enough to ask. 

If it wasn’t for her daughter, mother and the others left behind on the Eligius IV, Clarke might have found herself quite happy to remain in Lexa’s company. However, the lack of freedom chafed at her. Lexa’s compound was large and given its proximity to Sanctum had a large community and acres of farmland. There was a large town that almost rivalled the size of Sanctum itself and then two smaller towns further out. Clarke was not permitted to go anywhere outside of Lexa’s compound alone. The borders were simply too porous and Clarke was deemed far too valuable. 

Inside Lexa’s residence, Clarke was allotted a large art studio and personal space. It even had a daybed so that Clarke could rest if needed. She assumed that was for when she was pregnant. She was allowed to access most spaces on the upper floors but on the lower one, she was allowed to go into the kitchens or out into the private walled gardens. It was an impressive space but also rigid and confining. She could hardly bear the feeling of captivity after so many years in the Valley with Madi. Her heart ached again, scarcely able to bear the pain. 

She would say one thing she loved, all the art supplies she was allotted, the glory of which she had never seen before. On the easel was a stunning perspective of Lexa’s garden. Overall, Clarke was pleased with it but it lacked a certain life that she couldn’t articulate and it was irritating her.

“It looks good, Clarke.”

The voice was firm but kind and Clarke spun around to see Lexa standing in the entry to the room. Despite herself, she found herself smiling at the presence of the alluring woman. Dressed in form-fitting leather pants and a soft looking sweater that tumbled carelessly off one shoulder, Lexa was as beautiful as she ever was. Clarke felt grubby and ungainly in her oversized shirt-dress covered in paint splatters. Her enhanced breasts were awkward to say the least and unless she was attired to show them off, Clarke always felt like a rectangle these days. Not exactly sexy, she grumbled to herself.

“Thank you. It still lacks a certain something. A life I suppose. I can’t describe it but I suppose I need to keep trying.” Clarke returned with a critical eye fixed on her painting. 

Lexa entered the room slowly and came to stand next to the beautiful woman she owned. “Perhaps you lack inspiration. I mean flowers are lovely but they aren’t always inspiring to one’s spirit.” She offered up quietly, “Although I suspect you are being too hard on yourself because I see nothing wrong with your work.” She continued with a light shrug.

“Oh hush you.” Clarke replied with a soft laugh and as she turned her brush left a pink dot on Lexa’s bare shoulder. She laughed and then said quietly, “Perhaps I need a better canvas?” It was almost a joke but not quite.

“May I volunteer?” Lexa murmured quietly before glancing down at the paints. “Assuming those are not toxic of course.” Clarke swallowed hard and felt the heat coil in her. She could scarcely breathe for just a second at the idea that just took hold. 

Clarke nodded toward a high stool with a thick padded bench. “Take off your shirt please and sit right there.” She wasn’t sure why but giving this woman orders felt incredibly erotic. To her surprise, Lexa reached into her pocket and withdrew a hair tie. She tied up her long locks into a soft twist and then tugged off her sweater. She wasn’t wearing anything under the sweater, her full, soft breasts on display. Lexa was so unabashed and in control when it came to her body that it always filled Clarke with envy. Even before her alterations, she was never so bold about her curvy form.

Clarke set out a small tray of paints and approached carefully. She set down the paint and then tugged over a stool to match Lexa’s. She hooked one small foot in the legs of the chair and dipped a clean brush into the paint. Lexa gave a soft shiver as the paint brush deposited a swirl of paint onto her skin. They didn’t speak. Somehow this moment was beyond words. 

Her brush met the paint and then lifted again, dancing over Lexa’s skin leaving behind dabs of colour and soft swirls in its wake. Clarke was breathing hard by the time she was done, the seat of her bench soaked by her dripping core. All she could see was Lexa. All she could think of was Lexa. The woman heard the brush clatter to the floor as Clarke could not contain herself further. 

Her voice remained calm as she stated quietly, “Is it all done? May I see?” Clarke would have thought her composed had she not seen the heat burning in Lexa’s gaze. Clarke nodded slowly but Lexa did not leave the room in search of a mirror. Instead she reached up a hand to dust gentle fingertips over Clarke’s cheek, “Clarke.” 

Unable to resist, she surged forward and kissed Lexa. It was an explosion of lust and need. There was no delicacy to the way they folded together. Clarke didn’t recall when her shirt dress hit the floor but it was a relief to no longer have the fabric tormenting her sensitive breasts. Lexa giggled, actually giggled, when Clarke’s fingertips tried to pluck at the strings holding up her pants. “Clarke…” she managed to get out between breathless laughs, “That’s just for show. You just have to.” Clarke’s hands folded over the waistband just as Lexa met her eyes, “pull.”

“Pull?” Clarke repeated. Lexa nodded and Clarke did just that, tugging down the tight trousers until all Lexa needed to do was step out of them. She glanced up from her kneeling position and let out a soft groan. “You’re so beautiful.” It was worship, plain and simple. Lexa bent forward and cupped Clarke’s face with both hands. She met Clarke’s eyes seriously. “There is no one in the world as beautiful to me as you. Come my gorgeous girl.” Clarke shook her head. “No … here…” She gestured to the daybed. She was claiming Lexa so returning to their formal bed in the powerful woman’s room felt like shifting all the power back to her. Clarke was determined to be the one staking the claim this time. Lexa was hers in this moment and she wanted to soak up everything that meant. 

Lexa looked over at the daybed and then back at Clarke, brow raised, before she regally nodded. A concession. How the woman managed to look so elegant with her hair tucked up into a haphazard bun, her back covered in paint and utterly nude otherwise was beyond Clarke. She couldn’t have managed that degree of elegance outfitted in diamonds. 

Clarke folded her hand over Lexa’s and tugged her over and as they reached the edge of the daybed, she trailed her hand up from Lexa’s hand to cup her face and pull her forward into a tender kiss. She nudged this magnificent creature forward until Lexa was face down on the bed, bracing on her elbows as she adjusted to the position Clarke wanted her in. Clarke admired the painting on Lexa’s back. There was the passion she was missing, she thought critically. 

Bending over the elegant woman, Clarke kissed the curve of Lexa’s ass, nipping at the soft skin as her hand played over Lexa’s thighs. She nudged them further apart and settled between on her back, her face upturned as she devoted slow, sweet kisses and gentle licks to the other woman’s core. Wrapping her arms around Lexa’s thighs, Clarke pinned her in place as she unabashedly devoured the woman. She didn’t stop until she heard begging words and felt Lexa’s thighs shake and only then did Clarke loosen her hold and shift upward, dusting soft kisses over Lexa’s abdomen and teasing the soft curve of her ripe breasts. Her own body felt like liquid fire raced through her. 

Lexa wrapped an arm around Clarke as the two were finally face to face again. With the other, she traced down Clarke’s luxurious curves until she could tease her fingertips over the folds of the slave’s sex. She teased her open as Clarke reciprocated the touch. Their eyes clashed and then held as they slowly fucked each other with leisurely strokes. Clarke moaned as Lexa’s thumb traced over her clit and her head fell back as the orgasm washed over her in a wave that left her breathless. She felt Lexa’s soft kisses as she tried to orient herself again, felt the woman ride out her own pleasure against Clarke and then rest her cheek against the upper curve of her breast.

“I love you, Clarke.” Lexa whispered. Clarke felt a surge of emotion at these softly spoken words but she couldn’t push them past her frozen lips. To love Lexa was to set aside a future with her family and Clarke just wasn’t prepared to do that, not now and if she had her way, not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to DialedIn for her continued support of this wacky tale of mine.


	8. Harvest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **The Annual Harvest Gathering begins**
> 
> Trigger Warning: Discussion of termination, abortion, miscarriage and child loss. Please heed these trigger warnings and do not read if triggering for you.

**_“No one ever really gets used to nightmares.”_ **

**_Bellamy_ **

Bellamy stepped out of the shower and towelled off. The drive to Sanctum had been long and frankly he was a little tired. Still, the others should be arriving any time now and he was looking forward to seeing all of them. He pulled open the door and found Echo holding up two dresses in front of a long mirror. She was a beautiful woman but dressing up for another had never really been her thing.

However, their Mistress always looked incredible and both of them felt the need to step up to feel worthy of being on her arm and in her company. “The gold one.” he suggested. “They are both good but for dinner, the gold one.” 

“It reveals a lot in the front and has a high slit. It is just a …” Echo started and then flushed realizing that of course their Mistress would love to see Echo displaying her body proudly in front of the other Masters and Mistresses. “Gold it is then.” she finished. Bellamy took the other dress from her and returned it to the closet and Echo laid the other over the back of a chair. He turned and then admired the picture that his lover made as she walked around the room. 

The surge of lust he felt would have horrified him only a few months ago. After all, they had had sex twice during the journey to Sanctum, both times with their Mistress watching. He should be well satiated, but he knew if she expressed an interest, he could have her again right now without hesitation. 

“Has Anya returned?” Bellamy asked quietly, trying to distract himself from thinking with his cock. Echo shook her head as she sat at the dressing table and started to apply her makeup. He loved watching the women get ready, although he had no idea why. However, if nothing else, his time with Anya had shown him there was no reason to deny himself the things he enjoyed if they caused no harm to anyone else. 

Echo finally spoke up, “I think she wants us to enjoy seeing everyone else without her present. To show us how life with her can be good in the long term as well. I hope the others are equally willing to share. I, for one, have missed Murphy’s dumb jokes.” she finished with a light twist to her lips. 

“Never tell him but yeah … me too.” Bellamy conceded and then they both laughed. Moving toward Echo, he paused to drop a kiss on the top of her head. “I could also go for an Emori hug. A Raven quip. I just wish Monty and Harper were among them. It was easy to pretend when we were off to ourselves but once we are together, it’ll remind me that they’re really gone. We even left their son on the ship.”

“Hey, we did that to keep him safe. I would not have wanted him to …” the recollection of those long days of torment of the _treatments_ coursed through her and she shuddered. Bellamy nodded and gave her shoulder another squeeze. 

“You’re right. I know you’re right. It is just hard to … well it’s just hard.” He conceded, “I just miss them.” Echo nodded in agreement. “Then let’s get dressed and go see our friends.” 

Bellamy tugged on his clothing and while there were times he missed underwear (a privilege he had yet to be granted), he was pleased that everything fit well and he wasn’t half on display. Echo on the other hand, looked lovely in her gold dress. He folded her hand into the crook of his elbow and patted her hand in an effort to be reassuring.

They walked down the stairs from the temporary suite they were occupying to the main level of the palace. It brought back flashes of memory for the two of them and his hand locked over hers in an effort to keep them both from breaking down. The last time he was in this space, they had drugged the meal and nothing had been the same since then. 

“There you are!” Turning, he spotted Emori and the memories receded in favour of reconnecting with the people he considered family. He released Echo’s hand reluctantly and promptly felt Emori wrap her arms around him. Echo was doing the same with Raven and then Murphy. Bellamy broke off his hug with Emori and turned to wrap his arms around Raven. Then he stopped. It wasn’t dramatic yet but there was definitely a distinct change.

“Raven, are you?” Bellamy gestured and watched as Raven flattened her loose sweater to her slender frame to reveal the curve of her belly.

“Pregnant, yeah. Apparently I am some sort of miracle cause no one usually gets immediately pregnant. I’m the first.” Raven replied sardonically. 

“Your … you must be happy.” Bellamy offered up tentatively and was relieved to see no rush of fear in Raven’s eyes. Instead she nodded complacently before adjusting her sweater so that her bump was no longer quite so obvious. 

“Very happy.” she affirmed with a nod. Bellamy looked around and then bent closer to his petite friend, “Are you okay?”

Raven’s fist gently pressed against his shoulder in a light punching motion, “Yeah, I am.”

“Sure?” 

Raven flashed a broad grin at him, “Yeah, he even puts up with Murphy.” she replied with a laugh. Murphy approached and slung his arm around Raven’s shoulders and grinned at Bellamy. “Who wouldn’t love a face this pretty?” 

Bellamy grinned in response and then nodded when Murphy quietly asked, “You okay?” 

“Yeah, we’re good.” he responded quietly and opened his mouth to share a few more details when Miller and Jackson appeared at the edge of their group. The hugs began again. 

**_Eric_**

It took him almost four whole days into the trip to get everyone together without any intrusion by the others. The party was lovely but unusual to say the least. There were activities organized such as fashion shows, art presentations and elaborate meals every night. To reinforce how incredibly fucked up this place was, in his opinion at least, the evening events were artfully decorated by living statues of beautiful, nude slaves. Their bodies were painted, or decorated in jewels or flowers, and they were draped in positions that frankly he didn’t feel he should be seeing outside of his examination table.

Nathan closed the door behind him and looked around at the waiting group. “We’re good. Everyone’s at a meeting. I talked to one of the other slaves and they will likely be in there for the rest of the morning. We’ve got at least an hour.” He kept his back to the door nonetheless. The last thing they wanted was a surprise interruption.

“Jackson? What’s going on?” Clarke asked, a little crisp and clearly frustrated. Eric looked around the room and considered each of them. Octavia was as near to Bellamy as she could get and as far as he could tell, Bellamy was avoiding her as much as he possibly could. Blodreina was no more and it shocked Eric to see how young and vulnerable the woman could look after all the damage she had wrought to their bodies and their psyche. He thought of leaving her out of this meeting but that felt cruel. Even she did not deserve slavery in his opinion. 

“As you know they bought us for breeding stock. And all that shit they did to us was to alter our biochemistry and make us more fertile.” Eric started to a room full of groans. He was so focused on getting out his words that he failed to notice the way Raven’s arm curled defensively around her abdomen. 

“No … listen … listen.” Eric was ready to start knocking some heads together. So he set down a box on the table and opened it with a dramatic flourish. Inside were dozens of small tins and a dozen small bottles. The liquid in the bottle was clear with no label aside from his initials in the cap. The dropper was well into the fluid and the cap of the bottle had the little balloon to facilitate the use of the dropper. 

Clarke reached in curiously and pulled out a bottle, turning it over in her hand. “I’m guessing this is to stop us from fulfilling their purpose for us?” she asked with a tilt of her head and a questioning glance. 

“We do not belong here. We do not belong to them.” Eric stated fiercely and glanced over at Nathan as he did so. “Since we are in some sort of insane time distortion, we just need to bide our time and get them to release us on their own. Right? Best way to do that without getting hurt or resold is to be useless. We don’t get pregnant, they replace us with someone else, we get to the drop ship and we leave. All of us. We get back to the Eligius IV and we find another world to settle.”

“So you take this within 24 hours of intercourse. Or if by more artificial means, attempted implantation.” Eric explained as he tapped his finger against the bottle. “You only need two drops. It can be taken orally and I recommend food with it if you are prone to feeling nauseated. Men can take it as well, it will reduce your motility, effectively stopping your sperm from seeking the egg. Take it any day you have sex. Frankly, Bellamy and John, you both should just take it daily.” The two men he referred to looked at each other and then away again but Eric could read nothing into their look and continued with his explanations.

“These tins are for if the first medication fails for some reason. Or to terminate after conception.” He gestured to each of them and then stopped at Raven before deliberately sliding the white edged tin toward her. “We need a pilot, Raven. We all deserve to get back to our family and our friends. We owe it to them.” 

His sharp gaze turned to Octavia and he looked at her, “We all owe it to them not to leave them in space and we deserve more than to live our lives as breeding slaves to a population that should, frankly, die out. These people are terrible. I know they seem nice but that’s the alterations in what they call their _treatments_. They traumatize us, completely alter us, and then reward us with gilded cages for playing nicely. Taking the medication ....” He tapped the bottle containing the clear liquid again, “will help block that connection you feel toward them. It won’t completely help but it does take off your desire to comply, to satisfy and please them.” 

“Shhhh.” Nathan suddenly interjected before anyone could ask further questions in the moment. He stuck his head into the hall and then closed the door again. “Okay, we’re good. Continue.”

“What about the tests? He tests us all the time.” Emori asked quietly, staring at the tin offered to Raven intently. Eric couldn’t tell what Emori was thinking but he nodded at the question.

“It should pass out of your system in 24 hours. Try to get him on a testing schedule. Maybe once a week, don’t use the meds in the 24 hours prior and then follow it with one of these to prevent conception.” He offered up the pink edged tin. They both looked quite innocuous, which was precisely why Eric had selected them. The containers wouldn’t look out of the ordinary in any of their drawers and could be anything. Only his initials on each one indicated they were from him.

“Oh thank god, Jackson.” Clarke burst out and then shuffled toward him to offer up a long hug of true appreciation. “I’ve been trying to contaminate the embryos before implantation but …” 

Eric grinned down at the petite blonde, “I started with that too but realised quickly that wouldn’t be workable for everyone else. So I started on this project. With the one child policy of the Ark, we had a lot of experience in this area. It is made more simple here given that none of us should want to be bred by these bastards. Make sure to bring this home with you and hide it well, among other things that are accessible but still hidden. I’m confident that interfering with conception in this world may be the crime that gets me floated and while I am prepared to live with the consequences, I would prefer that it wasn’t because someone just got careless.” Eric’s words seemed to be taken to heart and everyone nodded and mumbled words of agreement. 

Then they all heard it. Footsteps in the hall! Eric passed out the containers to each of them, offering up more than one container of the fluid to the heterosexual pairings since they would be more apt to need the medication regularly. Clarke beamed her gratitude up at him before they all dispersed to their own rooms to tuck away their ill-gotten, illicit gains. 

**_Raven_**

Raven was quiet for the rest of the day after Jackson’s distribution of the medications that would counteract much of what had been done to her. She asked about the lactation but he had no answers for her on that front since he had no access to Raven while at his lab. He was able to take some blood samples, though.

She turned over the white edged container in her hands, spinning it around. Inside were lavender-hued tablets that were not quite as big as her pinky nail. After speaking further to Jackson, Raven was told if she took three of these tablets over the span of 72 hours, she would have a painful two to seven days after that. It would essentially force her into premature labour, expelling the fetus from her body as he described it. As it would be far too early for the fetus to be viable, it would be qualified as a miscarriage and not a stillbirth even. 

_We need a pilot, Raven._

The words haunted her. Of course they did. The flight from the Eligius IV had been challenging, even for her. The return trip would be even more so. In two thousand years, the people of this world had failed to breach the ionosphere again with even so much as a radio transmission, much less an actual ship. To realistically make it off the planet, they would need her. Jackson was right about that.

Raven’s arrival had been heralded. As she had just passed the first trimester with a confirmed and healthy pregnancy, she had seen Gustus practically beam with pride and joy. With another woman you might barely have been able to tell but Raven was slight and therefore she already had an obvious curve to her belly that belied the rest of her slim frame. She was, without a doubt, pregnant.

So what were her choices? She could take these tablets and end the pregnancy. That would probably be the most simple option. Master Gus would grieve but would take excellent care of her while she recuperated from the experience. The other option would be to have the baby and leave it with her Master when she left with the rest of her people. It seemed horrible but she also knew the man would adore the child and take excellent care of it. How would that baby feel knowing their mama would just leave like that? How would she cope with losing her own child? She briefly considered taking the child with her but she knew that first her Master would never permit it and second she would not and could never condemn her child to a life of uncertainty and deprivation. Not when they could have such a good life and never know what it was like to go without food or safety.

She saw the shadow and tried to look nonchalant as the tin disappeared into her pocket. It was like holding onto a nuclear device - it felt like it had the potential to explode and destroy everything. She looked up and then started in surprise to see Octavia. The other woman took a seat some distance away and looked out at the gardenscape in front of them. Neither woman was really looking at the autumn foliage though.

“I’m pregnant too.” Octavia blurted and Raven’s head whipped around in shock as Octavia continued, “It is very early so I asked him not to say anything. He agreed.” 

“Not even to claim the prize and win the bet?” Raven asked curiously. Octavia shook her head, “He said my wishes were the important thing and not the bet.” 

To be fair, if she asked that of Master Gus, she suspected he might have complied. It was just impossible in her case since she was so obviously showing already.

“I know it isn’t the same for me. Most people don’t want me to get back on the ship anyway, not even my own brother, and I can’t blame any of them for feeling that way.” Octavia continued quietly before reaching out to take Raven’s hand for a moment, giving it a gentle squeeze before releasing her hold.

“Just remember, there is no reason in the universe that makes Clarke’s child more important than yours.” Octavia continued and Raven’s eyes flew wide and she looked over at Octavia again, processing what the other woman had just said. 

“I’m not saying what to do, just remember it is your choice. I am not taking these pills, I am not taking those drops. Ever. I need to stop hurting others to get what I want or because I think I am right. I have no idea what is right anymore most of the time. But I want my baby. If you want yours too, that’s okay, Raven. Don’t let them make you feel ashamed for wanting your baby.”

Raven’s mouth opened and closed again, unsure what to say. Octavia, seemingly having said her piece, rose to her feet and dusted off the back of the dress she was wearing with gentle hands. 

“Octavia?” Raven whispered.

“Yeah?”

Raven bit her lip and then blew out a soft sigh. “Thanks … also, congratulations.” She was rewarded with a beaming smile that reminded Raven of the girl she had met so many years ago now, the girl before Skairipa and Blodreina, a girl who had found love and had hopes for her future with her lover. This place had been good for Octavia. Raven hoped that Bellamy could see that and manage to forgive her. Of course, if Bellamy and Echo wanted to leave, they might never get the chance to find a new, adult relationship with Octavia.

“Thank you Raven. Congratulations to you too.”

**_Gustus_**

Attendance at the Annual Harvest Gathering was mandatory, barring extreme illness or death. It was where many trades and alliances were made that would and could swing the tide of the general governance of their world. However, this year, Gustus wished he could have made excuses. He had been hopeful that his trio getting to see their friends would settle them in some way or allow them some peace of mind as they headed into the long winter when they would remain close to home and see few others who did not live on the island with them.

Instead, they seemed tense and unhappy. He had caught Raven crying in the bath this morning and he had no idea as to the cause of her distress. She attributed it to the hormonal shifts of pregnancy but honestly, he wasn’t confident in the honesty of her explanation. It killed him to say that, for he hated to attribute a lie to his pretty and brilliant woman. He had offered her the comfort that he could but as the days passed, she looked only more unhappy and uncertain. 

He saw Ilian’s handsome physician speaking with her more than once and at one point they appeared to be arguing. As he approached, the other male glared at him and then faded away. Gustus didn’t see him again until the dinner hour, when he was sitting with Ilian and Ilian’s other handsome male, Nathan, if he recalled correctly. Gustus was curious but he was also trying to respect his people’s right to have relationships over which he did not exercise control. A challenge to say the least. A rather painful one it seemed.

If Raven was unhappy, then Emori was distant. She hadn’t touched or come close to him since arriving at Sanctum. He often caught her and John in private conversations that ended the minute he entered the room, even though they were not speaking in a language he understood. He asked both of them, separately and together, how they were and if they wished to discuss anything with him. Perhaps he had radically underestimated how traumatized they remained from their initial care and keeping at Sanctum. Roan was not a soft man and he could see in their faces how much his people loathed the man. He didn’t blame them but it still hurt to see their unhappiness. 

He ordered the ship to make preparations for departure once the week was over, which was a few days earlier than originally scheduled. He wanted to be far from this place and see his trio’s contentment and confidence return. He wanted John to be sassy and a little rude and yet putter around the kitchen talking about good foods to prepare for Raven now that she was pregnant and things she might like to try from the cookbooks he had located. Most of the foods the boy didn’t even recognize but he was always willing to give something a try. He wanted to see Emori buried in his records, neatly sorting them and scolding him for his terrible disarray until someone distracted her and pulled her into another affectionate embrace. He would absolutely take a scolding just to have the girl look at him again.

“Gustus!” he heard a voice call out and the older man turned his head to see the slight Ilian approach quickly. 

“I’m glad I caught you alone Gustus. I need to speak with you, please. It’s important.” The man’s words were in such a rush, tripping over one another, that Gustus could hardly make them out. 

“Calm, my friend, of course I will help.” he assured quietly, “What do you need?” 

The other man ducked his head to the side and directed them both to a small, private sitting room. Gustus followed the implicit direction and was just taking a seat when Ilian shut the door firmly behind him. Ilian seated himself opposite Gustus. To be honest, he knew the younger man’s older brother well. Their community was small and since they had no physician until his new acquisition, Gustus was often asked to assist. He didn’t mind helping but it was a drain on time and resources so he was pleased to know his services would not be called on so often in the future. 

Ilian pushed a container over toward him. Gustus recognized it. It was regularly used to transport fragile medical specimens and samples. His brow lifted and he looked at Ilian with a question in his gaze. 

“I have no idea why but I am suspicious. I feel like something is going on with Eric and perhaps with Nathan too. I’m just…” The young man scrubbed his hand over his face and then let out a groan of unhappiness. Suddenly he realized how young Ilian was and how much responsibility was left on his shoulders given his elder brother, Evon, was unwilling to do more than run the farms. Evon was a leader in name only and the only reason the community was as strong as it was, was due to Ilian. “I’m too stupid to figure out what he is doing. I took as many samples of what he had in his laboratory as I could and the most recently cultivated embryos. Something is happening that doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe I’m just being a paranoid fool. Actually I hope I am. But I fear that I am not.” 

Gustus nodded, “So I’m guessing you want me to have a look at everything in here and tell you if your suspicions hold weight?” He pulled the tin in close. “It’ll be a few weeks before I’ll get that time in my lab. Are you sure that you don’t want Roan …” 

“NO!” Ilian leapt to his feet and paced around the room. He opened the door, looked into the hall and closed it again. “No.” He replied more softly. “If Roan finds out that Eric did anything … if …” the young man swallowed, “If he got hurt, I would never be able to live with myself. Please Gustus. I just need you to look and see what is happening. If others need to know, I trust you to decide. But not Roan. Never Roan.”

Gustus rose to his feet and placed a gentle hand on Ilian’s shoulder, giving him a comforting squeeze. “I appreciate your faith in me, my friend. I will look and I will report back. Hopefully we will determine that there is nothing amiss and your sense of paranoia arises from having your set come to you at such a young age.” 

Ilian surged forward to wrap his arms around the older and reassuring man. Gustus patted his back and then laughed, “Alright, alright, that’s good. I’ve got this. I promise. We’ll get it sorted soon enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying my twisted tale. If you have any comments or thoughts, I would love to hear them. Constructive critique is welcome here. Thank you again to DialedIn for her editing skills and continued encouragement. Happy Sunday to all!


	9. shadows are cast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As our lovely people return back to their (temporary?) homes, decisions are made that will cast shadows over days to come.

**_“Your nightmares follow you like a shadow, forever.”_ **

**_Emori_ **

Emori couldn’t bear to look at any of them. All this time she had been playing the game of survival. Hers, John’s and then the others as her personal circle grew wider. As a child and a young woman, she had only cared about herself and Otan. Then she found John and her heart found someone whose survival mattered as much as her own. Their journey had been beyond imagining to the girl she had once been. She had lived among the stars, traveled on a spaceship and even piloted one.

Somehow she had travelled to this world where she had been altered and sold like an animal. It brought up childhood feelings of inadequacy, terror and torment when she was too weak to defend herself. She loathed them for making her feel that again, bringing up things she thought long gone. 

Except she liked their life on their beautiful island home. She liked seeing John get settled, for the first time in his life, and actually become content. She had seen him happy, haunted, lonely and in pain. She had never seen him content, not in all the years she had known him. They also had their Raven, whom she had come to love in ways she could not fully articulate. If they left here that would all change. Of course, it would change. How could it not? Raven would be damaged by the loss of her child. Regardless of whether he was the father, John would also be hurt by it. It could break them all entirely, sever themselves from each other. 

However, if they had the chance to leave, shouldn’t they desire freedom above all else? They should want to return to their friends aboard the ship, except for the fact that everyone that truly mattered to Emori was here on the surface. There were no good choices as far as she could see. Every option was good and terrible all at the same time and often for the same reasons. 

Ever since the medications Jackson distributed had been placed in her hand, Emori couldn’t even look at Master Gus. She had always been a proficient liar. You needed to be when you grew up as an outsider. However, this felt beyond a lie, beyond a deception, to defy this man. She turned the bottle in her hand and loosened the cap. Two drops was all he said that she would need. So she added two drops to her water glass and then recapped the bottle. She stared at it for several minutes before hearing Raven tap at the door to the washroom and ask if she was coming to bed. 

“Coming.” Emori replied hastily and threw back the glass of water.

With the decision made once, it became easier every night. Two drops, sometimes three if they had been particularly frisky that day, and she downed the glass. No babies for her, no impossible decisions, and she and John, well, they could explore the option of having a child sometime in the future. While her own future was so uncertain she just didn’t want to be forced into an ugly choice like Raven.

With that decided, she pulled open the door and tugged the waiting woman into a gentle kiss. For the first time since they arrived, she offered a warm smile to Master Gus. He looked briefly taken aback and then he grinned in response. His hand came up to trace over her tattoo lightly as he spoke, “Ready for bed?” 

Emori nodded and then turned to climb into bed. John pulled her into a hug and asked worriedly, “You alright?”

She nodded and leaned in to kiss his mouth before snuggling down next to him. She felt Master Gus climb in next to her. The lights flicked off, plunging the room into darkness. Raven shifted over and pressed in between John and her. Emori ran a hand over the curve of Raven’s abdomen and sighed to herself. She couldn’t fathom the turmoil her friend was in at this moment and she tried to offer comfort as best she could. Emori pressed a gentle kiss to Raven’s forehead and nudged her nose against the other woman’s cheek. She could feel the tears there and knew her lover was struggling.

“I’m here for you, Raven.” She whispered. A gentle nod was felt against her shoulder. Raven didn’t seem to want to talk so Emori didn’t press the matter. Tomorrow was another day. She just wished she didn’t love the way Master Gus’ body felt spooning her own.

When did everything become so complex? It was exhausting.

**_Clarke_ **

Clarke felt a sense of calm for the first time since she was acquired by her Mistress. She tucked away the medications into the lining of her art supply bag, making it look like just one more art solution. Lexa didn’t know much about art and would never assume that the items were used for other purposes instead. It was a perfect hiding spot - in plain sight!

It had been so good to see the others. Murphy was still not talking to her except for potshots and harsh jabs. Bellamy was still wary. However, the others were more focused on the disaster they were currently in to dwell on Clarke’s mistakes. She did not deny she had made them, even if she believed she was right at the time. Murphy’s disdain didn’t trouble her much, although it probably should have after he helped her so much with the ALIE situation. She found it easier to dismiss his unhappiness with her. Still, there was something in the way that Bellamy looked at her that hurt her heart. She wanted to make amends but it was impossible to catch him alone. 

Lexa was often in the company of his Mistress, a spectacularly terrifying woman named Anya. It was clear from looking at her that freeing him from this situation was a top priority. She was a monstrous person, with ice-cold edges, and she feared what she would eventually do to Bellamy. Echo too, Clarke supposed, shrugging to herself. She needed to save her friends and then get them all back to the Eligius IV. Other problems would be resolved in time. Saving everyone from this ‘gilded cage’ as Jackson called it had to be her first priority.

She was happy about Jackson’s solution and looked forward to telling her mother how clever the physician had been, sparing everyone. Clarke knew Raven would have a tough time but tough decisions needed to be made and she had no doubt that Raven would make the correct choice at the end of the day. 

After her medications were tucked away, Clarke tugged her curls into place and then noted how the top of her dress offered up her breasts in a way that Lexa loved but made her feel exposed and vulnerable. Now that was one thing that she really hoped her mother and Jackson would be able to remedy. She did not wish to go through the rest of her life with this distorted body-shape, she barely liked the one she did have before, much less this new one. 

The door opened and despite herself, Clarke jumped and then laughed. The surge of lust swept through her as she took in the sight of the elegant woman as she entered. The full skirt billowed behind her as she walked. “Clarke! You are not dressed. Dinner will start soon. Please get ready.” She lightly scolded as she walked through to sit down at the makeup mirror in order to adjust some of the pins holding up her long, light brown strands. 

“Of course Mistress.” Clarke replied quickly and there was a disproportionate bounce to her step as she walked through to the expansive closet. The dress was a dark red, similar to her first colour designation. She wondered again what the colours meant, although she had yet to ask anyone. It didn’t seem terribly important, more a matter of intrigue. 

Returning to the room she lamented that this dress did not allow her to wear a bra and the corset nature of the top barely covered her nipples. She came to a stop as Lexa turned to look at her and Clarke saw the desire within her Mistress’ gaze. “You like it?” she offered up, turning in a slow spin, so that Lexa could look at it in greater detail.

“The only time you have looked more lovely is when you are joyfully painting.” Lexa replied, sincerity in every word. Clarke flushed despite herself. 

“I’m not wearing anything special then.” she protested.

“You are happy then and that is when you are truly your most beautiful.” the Mistress replied before slowly rising to her feet so that Clarke may make use of the dressing table. “It is our last official night. After the midday meal tomorrow, we will depart for home. Some may leave earlier. Do take the time to give your regards to all your friends?”

“Mistress, is there any way to communicate with them during the winter?” she asked, trying to seem casual as she did so. To Clarke’s delight, Lexa nodded, “I do have hardline communication. Coordination is the tricky part. If managed with appointment scheduling ahead of time, communication is possible. It is just more unusual. You can check in though. I assume you are interested in seeing how Raven’s pregnancy progresses?” It was such an offhand reply that Clarke had to resist the urge to tip her hand about how the communication would function.

“Yes Mistress. I don’t want her to feel alone, especially not with Murphy and his person.” At this moment, he could not recall the woman’s name. The last time they had directly interacted for any length of time was in Becca’s laboratory and since Clarke was willing to subject the unwilling girl to a medical experiment, it was not a positive recollection. 

“I understand. I’ll see what I can organize so you can all stay in communication.” Mistress Lexa affirmed and then reached over to tangle a delicate finger in one of Clarke’s curls. Clarke tipped her head up and back and waited for the soft kiss she knew would follow. She would miss this woman. 

**_Bellamy_**

Bellamy sat back in his seat and lifted the cup of tea to his lips in order to take a sip. It was the first period of quiet time he had had in days. He was not enjoying the visit to Sanctum as much as he had hoped. Everything seemed so straightforward when they had left Anya’s home. Then everything was once again complicated and overwhelming as Jackson gave them options they hadn’t possessed a mere week ago. There was something about the physician’s words to Raven that had rubbed him the wrong way. However, it wasn’t his place to intervene. The decision had to be Raven’s alone and he felt for her.

He sighed as Octavia sat down next to him and he set down his cup again. “O … I don’t want to talk to you right now.” 

She reached for him and then let her hand fall without touching him. “Bell. I’m your sister and I know I made terrible mistakes. I would do anything to take them back but I can’t. I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” she started.

Bellamy glanced over at Octavia’s pleading eyes and then glanced away again. “What do you want from me?” he asked gruffly. She sighed and tears welled in her eyes as she spoke, “I want you to say I’m your sister. I want you to forgive me. Please.” 

He scrubbed his hand over his face and then growled quietly, “You’re my sister. But you are not my responsibility. Not any more.” He stood up and she popped up next to him. 

“Wait, Bell. I just … if you guys organize an escape, you can skip me. Don’t wait for me. Don’t message me. Just … whatever you decide, do what you think is right and be happy. Please. That’s all I want for you. To be happy.” Octavia’s words came out in a quiet rush as if fearful he would walk away before she finished speaking.

“O, I wouldn’t just leave you. I promise.” Bellamy replied quietly, “You can’t think I’d just leave you here like that.”

She shook her head, “No, you don’t understand. Don’t … don’t say anything but I’m pregnant. And … and I’m happy about it. I’m fine with my Master. Really. I know that sounds insane but let’s face it, I do terribly left on my own. I’ve told him some things but not everything. He knows enough though and he doesn’t care. We get along fine and I don’t care if Jackson says it's the drugs or _treatments_ or whatever. I’m going to stay here and raise my baby and any others I get to have and you can let me go and know I am fine, good even.” Octavia surged up onto her toes and dusted a soft kiss over her brother’s cheek. Then she turned and hurried away, out the doors, and potentially out of his life.

That was what he wanted, didn’t he? To have his sister out of his life for good? Then why did it feel so terrible to see her head out the door and know he might never see her again. He sat down heavily and buried his face in his hands and tried to get himself together. He stayed like this until his tea grew cold and he lost interest in this solitary time. When he rose again, Bellamy felt he had aged a year in those few seconds. He walked up the stairs to find Echo packing hurriedly. 

“What’s going on?”

“Apparently there is supposed to be some big storm overnight so she wants to leave within the hour so we are home safe before it hits.” Echo explained as she reached into the closet to withdraw his suitcase. She pressed it into his arms and waved one hand generally toward the drawers, “Pack your things then hers. She made us bring far too many clothes for a single week. Next time I am in charge of packing.” 

Bellamy had to laugh at that remark. Would there be a next time, he wondered, thinking of Octavia. Was he going to be an uncle? Was she even telling the truth? Although to be fair, Octavia had numerous flaws but lying wasn’t usually one of them. She was pretty upfront about too much probably.

He gathered everything haphazardly, tossing it into the bags without much thought to organization. Bellamy tossed in his books on top of the clothing and then zipped it up. In the pockets he shoved in his shoes and toiletries before helping Echo pack the gowns and his suits into a nicer garment bag with a bit more care. He wasn’t sorry to leave if he were honest. Murphy, Emori and Raven had left with that morning. He and Clarke were still prickly with each other and frankly he wasn’t sure he could look Jackson in the eyes right now when he felt so ambivalent about the medications he had been given. Honestly he felt undecided about all of it at this moment, especially in the wake of Octavia’s words. He envied her certainty that she had found where she belonged. 

In thirty minutes, he was helping the driver load the bags into the vehicle and trying not to think about the fact that drifts of snow were coming down. He had never seen snow before. Not real snow, like this. Echo appeared beside him as he had his hands out, letting the flakes drift down into his palms. 

“What are you doing?” Echo asked with amusement threading every word.

“Snow! I’ve never ….” He replied and then flushed. He had been about to ask if she had seen snow and then remembered she was from Azgeda - the Ice Nation. Of course she had seen snow. She laughed at him and wrapped her arms around him. “Sometimes I forget that you are just a boy.” He bent his head forward and dusted a kiss over her lips. “Your boy.” he replied gruffly.

“I beg to differ.” Anya stated crisply and both Bellamy and Echo spun around and stared at the regal woman. “I believe the phrase is _our boy_. Now, in, both of you. We can admire the snow from the safety of our own bed in the morning.”

That turn of phrase should not send such a rush of pleasure through him but there it was. ‘Our boy’ were her words and just hearing her speak that way of him helped shuffle away that gnawing sense of unease that Jackson had given him. Maybe he belonged here too. He and Octavia could figure it out. He’d have Echo. Maybe a baby or two. Why didn’t that sound terrible? But then the questions loomed - what about the ship? What about the ungodly slavery? What about the torture of the _treatments_ … what about … what about… he was drowning in doubts until he felt that firm hand trace over his curls.

She tugged him down so he was on his back, his head on his Mistress’ lap as Echo straddled him. Mistress Anya liked to watch them have sex but he liked it better when she was touching them, touching him. He groaned as Echo took him deep into her core just as Anya’s hand tightened in his hair. The what-abouts receded and all he wanted was this. Her, them, this place, yes, that felt so good. Anya’s lips brushed his forehead and he moaned quietly, tipping his head up a little in the hopes that she would take the hint and kiss his lips. 

The vehicle drove throughout the night as the snowfall accumulated and the vehicle churned and slid through the icy roads. Mistress Anya was not apprehensive and ended up having to sit between both of her pets as they fretted. He felt a little silly but honestly, nothing felt better than when the manor loomed into view. The driver was in a hurry to get the vehicle under cover and cleared off. Echo and Anya disappeared for a hot bath while he carried the bags into the house. He left Anya’s in her room. She had a particular system of organization and he wasn’t about to fuck with it. He opened Echo’s though and hung everything neatly, leaving the rest of her personals like her makeup bag and products on the bathroom counter. 

Then he opened his bag and reached inside to feel a clammy sort of damp. What the fuck. He rooted through it to find the bottles given to him by Jackson. Both of them had portions missing, having leaked all over the contents of his suitcase. Fuck. He dried off the books first and tossed the clothing into the washing basket to be dealt with in the morning. He wiped off the bottles and the tins and tossed them all into the drawer. One bottle was half empty and the other missing the top third. He closed the drawer with a snap. A problem for another day, he thought with surprising pleasure. He didn’t want to deal with it now.

A servant stuck his head into the room. “I can take down your laundry for you, Bellamy and the Mistress says if you like, you can join them.” The two men exchanged a conspiratorial grin. One of the staff had advised that Anya had been much happier and therefore her mood much improved with all her staff after he and Echo had joined her household. It was extremely fucked up but he kind of loved that he made the authoritative woman happy. “Thanks.” he replied to the other man.

“It’s nice to have you all back. We’ve missed you around here.”

Bellamy flashed another grin, realizing he had felt the same. “Happy to be back.” With a cheerful hum, he passed the servant his basket of soggy clothing and headed down the hall to join his women. 

Home sweet home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you to everyone who takes the time to read this work! Comments and critique are welcome here. Thank you to DialedIn for her editing prowess (and everyone should go read her Gustus x Emori tale because it is a sweetness high).


	10. oh how the turntables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> could also be known as "oh ... I fucked up..."
> 
> truth and unintended consequences. 
> 
> Trigger warning for references to sterilization, miscarriage and abortion. Please heed the warnings if this is triggering for you.

**_“Nightmares don't last.”_ **

**_Gustus_**

The return home had been hectic and stressful as the sudden turn in the weather meant they had to move even more swiftly than anticipated. The general malaise that had settled over his trio did not shift immediately. There was a palatable and unspoken pall over every interaction, even those that used to be more affectionate. His sexual advances were consistently rebuffed, to the point that he spent several nights in another room to allow them additional space. He also took several blood samples in the hopes that it was some illness they had contracted that was dragging down their spirits and general well-being.

He returned to the island to a litany of patients and the fear of a small bout of influenza in one of his affiliated communities. Gustus came home in the wee hours, only to be shaken awake by Emori. Raven was spotting and experiencing pain. He leapt out of the bed and brought her immediately to the clinic. The crisis was fortunately and rapidly brought under control, although she would have to be on modified bedrest for a few weeks until they were all confident in her well-being. That night, Raven asked him to sleep beside her and he was delighted to grant her sweet request. He curled around her properly for the first time since the trip to Sanctum for the Annual Harvest Gathering and was pleased when she accepted his soothing kisses and cuddled into him. 

As such it was nearly seven weeks from the date of the gathering before he had a chance to really begin processing the contents of the medical specimen box given to him by Ilian. During their process time, he also began to analyze the bloodwork from the samples taken. When he began to review the data, Gustus registered only astonishment. How could this be? 

First he attended the house to take more samples of blood from John and Raven. Then he ran the tests again. The same results appeared on his screen. He paced his lab and then the island, before resolving that he could not allow this to linger any longer. Gustus feigned that he could be coming down with something and slept in another room. Then he waited until Raven had her morning feed by Emori and disappeared into the basement, to her own little laboratory. He watched out the window until he saw John walk down to the brewery before confirming that Emori was in the office with plans to go down to Raven’s laboratory after she was done with her days’ work. 

Then he began to search. Raven’s were the easiest to find. He took photographs and as much as it pained him, he put them back where he found them. Then he looked for Emori’s samples and there they were, in with her personal supplies in the washing room. His heart stopped in his throat when it was clear she was making use of them. His hands shook as he tucked them back into the drawer and closed it again. However no matter where he searched he couldn’t find any of John’s samples. After checking the bedrooms and the kitchen, Gustus was at a loss. 

There was nothing he could do. He couldn’t delay things further so he messaged those he believed to be impacted with identifying photographs of the bottles, tins and attached the chemical composition of the drugs so that they could verify contents with their own clinics. Then he sent a blast to Anya, Lincoln, Lexa and Ilian advising them of a sign in time late in the evening and that none of their acquired breeders should be in the room for the discussion and preferably not within earshot either. Fortunately, his own trio did not often inquire after his presence any longer, a fact which used to mystify him but now made terrible and logical sense. 

The hour was waning into the depths of night when he settled in at his desk and flicked on the monitors. Four other faces gazed at him in consternation. All were allies and some were friends. He had known each of them their entire lives, being the oldest of the group. To deliver this news was a bitter and jagged pill to swallow. 

“Hello all.” he started and heard Anya’s exasperation as she interjected quickly, “It’s late, Gustus, and while I always enjoy conversing with you, I have no desire to engage in meaningless chit-chat. Why have you asked us to meet under these circumstances?” 

Gustus cleared his throat and was about to speak when Ilian’s screen lit up and he murmured, “Does it have anything to do with what I gave to you?” The older physician nodded, “Yes and no. There is something there but there is something more that I need to share with you as well.” He took a breath before he continued. Reaching down he held up the photograph of the clear bottle. 

“Did you find these in your home?” he asked quietly. Lincoln shook his head while Lexa and Anya both affirmed that they had. “What purpose does it serve, Gustus?” Lexa asked quietly. 

“Well, I think there are two things to know there. First is the intention, which I believe was birth control. Unfortunately, several key components are contraindicated for the chemical ingredients of the _treatments_ , and …” 

“So they have been trying to prevent pregnancy?” Anya seemed astounded and Gustus nodded, before continuing, “And rather than just prevent pregnancy, they have been engaged in a complex form of chemical sterilization. The more they have ingested, the more likely it is that they will, in fact, never be able to have children.” 

Ilian buried his face in his hands and the others merely gaped in astonishment. “The white tablets seem to be a more concentrated form of the liquid solution, to a more devastating effect. The lavender coloured tablets….” Gustus held up a sample, “Are actually to terminate the pregnancy after conception.” Gustus strongly suspected Raven had ingested at least some of this concoction, leading to her fetal distress a week or so after their return home. Something changed her mind, perhaps, so she didn’t finish the course of treatment. He needed to confirm this with her but he wasn’t sure he could bear the truth. He felt devastated by it all. 

Lexa finally said, her voice soft and subdued, “This shouldn’t be possible. The entire point of the _treatments_ is to create the bond, they shouldn’t want to rebel or prevent a pregnancy. They should crave it as our desire … How … how are they able to do this?” 

Gustus nodded, “That was my other news and I am not sure how it is even possible but …” Then he shook his head, “Let me try to explain this clearly.” He brushed a rough hand through his hair and then took a sip of his drink. “When we know we are getting a pair, we take our part of the medication as well. So that the feelings, the bond, it is reciprocated. Yes?” Gustus started and everyone nodded with Lincoln stating, “And it hurt like a bitch too. That shit is brutal.” Gustus had to laugh at the large male whining more than the petite females and the slender, younger Master. It was always the big ones. 

“I noticed when we were back at Sanctum, they were much more troubled than I have ever seen any group before. Those from our world were not equally troubled, interacting with Roan and the place almost as if they had never been there before. As part of the chemical cocktail, there is generally a portion attributed to forgetting the depth of the trauma arising from the _treatments_. The way most women forget how awful childbirth is after having gone through it. Some women do not and usually those women are quite content to be one and done. But most women will forget hours of pain and be perfectly happy to start talking about another child just a scant few months later. It should be like that with Sanctum as well. Logically they know it was not a pleasant experience but it should not be so vivid or retain such trauma for them. One or two maybe but not all of them. All of them were clearly unhappy to be there and did not wish to speak with or interact with Roan. Frankly I would have feared for Roan’s safety had he been foolish enough to try.” 

Lincoln laughed at that, well able to picture Octavia living up to the vivid history she had shared with him and slitting Roan’s throat and bathing in the blood, He swore the only thing that stopped her was the idea of all the blood made her queasy in her currently pregnant state. 

“So what are you trying to say, Gustus?” Anya asked suspiciously. 

Gustus sighed and then said, “So I looked into it more carefully and that part of the chemical cocktail failed. In all of them. I do not know why. I don’t know if it is a side-effect from the environmental changes on Earth or the stasis pods or even just prior genetic shifts. Perhaps they are closer to the original state of humanity and we have shifted over the course of the last two thousand years. However, that’s not the only failure.” He paused and took another sip of his drink to wet his suddenly dry throat. 

“The bonding component failed.” He stated firmly. 

Anya slapped both hands to her desktop and then half rose like a feral cat eyeing the camera, “And what does that mean exactly? Be specific Gustus!” she demanded. 

“It means that they are not as bonded to us as we are to them. They are attracted sexually but any feelings beyond that are unrelated to the _treatments_. They don’t actually care for us and the fact they are capable of planning a defiance on this level verifies that simple fact. If the bonding had occurred properly, it would be equal or even slightly more intense on their side, and it would have been impossible for them to refuse our wishes to this degree. I have checked the research quite thoroughly and reviewed the archives. The earthers are not capable of being psycho-sexually bonded to anyone from this world, at least through the _treatments_.” 

“Wait! Wait … wait …” Anya stated and you could tell that she wanted to pace to relieve her frustrations. “So we _love_ them but they do not _love_ us. They might want to _fuck_ us. But they do not _love_ us.” 

Gustus nodded, “It is true. Any affection they feel … would be genuine, if they feel it, and it would be unrelated to any bonding mechanism that accompanies the _treatments_ or underlines its purposes. Frankly, we should probably all be relieved they haven’t slit our throats in the night. They are essentially immune.” 

“So what do we do now?” Lexa’s voice was a ghost of its usual authoritative self and Gustus ached for the complicated and brilliant woman. Her territory was challenging to manage, being the second most densely populated, only bested by Sanctum and its surrounding communities. 

“We each need to talk to our families.” He choked on the word and had to press his fingertips into his eyes to quell his desire to lose his grip on the moment, “If they have successfully managed to sterilize themselves, I think we should petition Sanctum to declare them free citizens. It will be excruciating for us, physically and psychologically to part with them, but there are some medications noted, usually in the event of an accidental death, that I may be able to refine and provide to, essentially, take the edge off so we don’t slip into madness or have our hearts give out under the strain.” 

Lincoln coughed and murmured, “And if they are not sterile?” 

“Then I suggest some courtship is in order. The cards are in their hands, not ours and I suspect their first desire will be to leave the planet’s surface as soon as possible.” Gustus offered up to the other man, not really looking at the others. 

“Don’t they need your Raven for that? The pregnant girl?” Anya asked, acid in every word. 

“And after the baby is born, she will be able to decide her course, so long as the child remains here of course. I won’t lie, it’ll be a hell of a choice for her and I plan to make it even harder if I can.” Gustus replied softly, aware that Raven had likely already made one choice and changed her mind. That meant at some point she chose the baby, now he just had to make life with her as comfortable as he could so that the idea of walking away from the child was untenable. He might never appeal to her but the child might be enough. 

“This is _fucking bullshit_.” Anya snarled and then she really did start to pace, appearing and disappearing from the screen in intervals. 

“I’m sorry to be the bearer of ill-tidings. But the fact is that their rebellion is serious and if Roan catches wind that such a thing is possible, he will order their executions. We can afford no announcement or gossip to this effect to reach his ears until we have decided if we are going to petition for freedom at the spring meeting and if so, for whom. I suspect Ilian’s men will be among the first. I will also be talking to Dr. Jackson to offer a safer alternative to what he has created. It is honestly impressive he made it so quickly with such limited information. I don’t think he intended the sterilization consequences, but that was an error that can be rectified. He’s a brilliant man. At least your community will have a good doctor until spring, Ilian.” 

“Thank you for that, Gustus. I am sorry everyone. I am sorry for us all.” Ilian’s voice was soft. It was tempting to blame the young man but it was impractical and incorrect. Since it served no purpose, they were all too practical to dwell on it. 

“I’ll be around tomorrow if anyone has any questions or concerns. First I would strongly advise you to locate the medications Dr. Jackson provided. They need to be removed. The longer they take them, the greater the chance of long-term damage.” Gustus advised firmly. 

“How much?” Anya asked crisply. 

“Well it would depend on body weight and resistance and …” Gustus prevaricated. 

“How _fucking much_ , Gustus?” She interjected. 

“Once they have hit a third, fertility would have plummeted to negligible and by the halfway mark of one bottle, it is likely they would be deemed sterile.” Gustus stated, “But it has only been a few weeks so hopefully no one has been foolish to take that much of it.” 

Anya’s screen blinked out without a goodbye. The woman was clearly livid so perhaps that was best. Ilian whispered his goodbyes with tears making his words weighted and then his screen blinked out as well. Lexa nodded her goodbyes and was gone. 

Lincoln did not readily depart and instead stated once they were alone, “Octavia is pregnant.”

Gustus straightened, “That’s wonderful news. Congratulations.”

The other man grinned and then nodded, “Thank you. I guess I need to court a pregnant woman.” 

He nodded, “I guess you do. Best of luck with it. My experience is they are quite changeable in their moods but you deal with pregnant females all the time so you know.” 

Lincoln laughed, “Are horses the same though?” 

“Close enough.” Gustus retorted with a laugh. “Stay safe my friend.” 

“You as well.” 

Gustus sank back in his seat, alone at last, and unsure where the next few days would take them. He had seen the bottle in Emori’s dresser. Almost a third gone - along with his dreams of having a child with her bright smile and those wonderful dark eyes. 

**_Anya_**

_Once they have hit a third, fertility would have plummeted to negligible and by the halfway mark of one bottle, it is likely they would be deemed sterile._

Gustus’ words haunted her. She had easily found the bottles when so directed during the day. It felt ridiculous to skulk through their personal belongings. She had tried to give them a little personal space and privacy. Apparently that was a terrible error. She found one set of the tins in Echo’s makeup bag and the solutions in a drawer. One was half empty and the other a good third or so. Perplexed, she left them where they were. 

Then Gustus had advised as to their purpose and Anya could barely see through the red haze and the weight of anger in her chest. She loved them! This she was prepared to accept as she was relying upon corresponding affection. Instead, those that she loved did not reciprocate, and, in fact, they were planning to leave her. If she had been a different woman, she would be weeping. 

However, she was enraged! How dare they!! She was not being sensible. They were waiting upstairs, tucked into her bed, and she couldn’t go in there. She paced until her legs ached and when she finally could not bear it any longer, she settled into her desk chair and opened a bottle of her favourite rum. She barely tasted it as she threw back several shots and stretched out on her office couch. The rage screamed through her but even she could not resist the pull of sleep. 

She groaned when the light bloomed in the room and she cursed the bright winter’s sun. Rising to her feet, she queried why she was in her office. Then the recollection rolled over her like a wave. She sagged back onto the couch and her head fell to her hands. Her loves had sterilized themselves rather than risk having a child for her. The grief was so strong she could barely breathe. Finally she pulled herself together and held her head high as she walked up the stairs to her washing room. She scrubbed herself thoroughly as if she could wash away the pain she felt. She was not a woman prone to emotionality so she had no idea how to process all this feeling she was carrying with her. 

Anya pulled on a soft shirt above a pair of worn trousers she often wore to spar, her preferred exercise during winter. Before heading down to the basement, she walked through her pets’ suite of rooms to collect those shiny tins and partially empty bottles. She carried them down the stairs, heading for the room that she used for such recreational activities. She rolled the ill-gotten objects back and forth in her palm, contemplating the implications of these medications. She wondered if Echo had ever had cause to take the little lavender ones to terminate a pregnancy. She could hardly recall that weeping girl she found in the tub, grieving over not being with child. Had that all been feigned? She did not understand this depth of deception. 

Anya set the bottles on a low table and watched them with dark and hate-filled eyes as she worked out her demons using the staff - her favourite personal weapon. It had been over an hour when she heard a light tap at the door and saw it slowly open. Those floppy dark curls, light stubble and lean frame were a visceral reminder of her lust for the man. Just a glance and she was instantly filled with desire for him. That emotion then filled her with pure rage. How dare he? 

“Come here.” She growled abruptly. Bellamy hesitated for a moment before walking over slowly. 

“Is everything alright, Mistress?” he asked carefully and her first desire was to soothe him. Soothe him! It only caused her rage to prickle all the further. She placed her hand in the centre of his chest and pushed him backward, until he collided with the metal mesh of the weapon storage room. 

“Do not move.” Anya instructed firmly. She tossed her staff to the ground and entered the cage to look for something that would work for her purposes. Spotting what she needed, she returned quickly. Pinning one hand to the mesh of the weapons cage, she wrapped the strap around it and tied it tightly. She bound the other equally roughly. Sensibly, Bellamy remained quiet, although his breathing had grown rapid and shallow, his eyes fixed on her face. 

“Mistress.” he finally whispered. 

“No talking,” she snarled, “Let’s see how long it takes for Echo to join us, shall we?” Ice dripped from her words, unlike her usually affectionate tone with her pair. Still, as he stood there, looking apprehensive, she ached to comfort him. Damn it. How _dare_ he? How _dare_ he make her love him, when he did not feel the same. Bastard. 

Anya tugged over a chair and placed it some distance from the pretty man as she began to twirl the knife she had picked up in her hand haphazardly. She contemplated what she would do with him now. Oh how she would suffer when she lost them. The agonies of it. And she wanted them to pay for causing her such pain, now and in the near future. 

They didn’t have to wait long for Echo. She appeared in the doorway wearing a long sweater over a pair of Bellamy’s light, loose trousers. Her long dark blonde strands tumbled over her shoulders in a style that Anya always found beautiful. She had never objected previously to her girl’s propensity to raid their boy’s side of the closet. 

“Bellamy?” she questioned, hurrying over to the bound man. Anya watched as Echo reached up as if to untie Bellamy before she snarled, “No! Leave him.” Echo spun around and watched her Mistress with wide eyes. 

“Mistress Anya. What … what is happening?” the young woman asked, clearly confused. 

“Hands behind your back, Echo.” Anya had no time for foolish questions. She would have her own answers soon enough. Echo complied and was silent as Anya then bound her as well, first tying her wrists together and then alongside Bellamy, attaching Echo to the weapons locker. Then Anya strolled back over to the waiting chair and then reached over to tug the small table toward the chair. Only then did she take a seat. She tossed down the knife and it clattered menacingly as it fell across the floor, finally stopping half a metre from her pair’s feet. Anya then lifted up the half empty bottle and set it down firmly on the small table. She nodded toward it and then looked up at her pretty pair with hard eyes. 

“Start talking. Now.” she demanded. 

Echo’s gaze moved to Bellamy’s and then back again. 

“Mistress.” She started, “It isn’t what you think. I promise.” 

“No … so I would be wrong if I said it is a form of birth control?” she queried, her voice silky and almost innocent in tone. The question said in that manner would have been less terrifying if said by anyone else. 

Bellamy then started, “Mistress. Please … I … it isn’t … I haven’t taken any.” 

“Nor me. I promise.” Echo assured quickly. 

“Enough lies. Damn you to all the hells. Stop lying to me!” Anya snarled, “Now answer my question. Is this birth control?” 

Echo fell silent, letting her head fall forward slightly, unsure what to say or do to make this situation any better. Bellamy cleared his throat and offered, “Yes it is.” 

Anya nodded, “Finally some truth. Were you aware of the permanent nature of the birth control?” 

“What? I don’t …” Bellamy was clearly confused and by the expression on Echo’s face, the girl was too. Either that or the two of them should be in the theatre and not wasting time as breeders. Of course, they were no good for that now, were they? 

“Yes. The contents of this little bottle,” she picked it up and shook it again, “will render you sterile. Permanent birth control. And look at that … you’ve already hit the point of it, now haven’t you?” Anya rose to her feet and threw the bottle against the wall, the explosion of sound as it smashed caused both Echo and Bellamy to flinch. 

“After all, no point keeping it anymore. Someone else could get their hands on it and it could have permanent, unintended consequences. We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” she continued crisply. Anya then held up the little tins, “Same with these. Can’t terminate something that will never exist, can we?” She threw them to the ground, the tins flying open as they hit the floor and sprayed the small pills over the floor. Anya lifted her foot and crushed a few tablets under the heel of her shoe. She then folded herself back into the chair. Bellamy and Echo watched with wide eyes. 

“I didn’t take any. I promise. It spilled. It spilled in my suitcase and I … we never took any. I’m still good, we’re still good. I promise. I promise Mistress. Please. Just let me prove it.” Bellamy started to beg, his hands pulling at the ties binding him in place. 

“Stop whining.” Anya was generally disgusted by those who mewled and simpered. In the case of these two, it brought out an intense urge to offer affection and comfort. 

Bellamy drew in a ragged breath and Anya thought that might be the end of it until Echo started. “Mistress. I haven’t taken any. I didn’t. I wasn’t even tempted, not even after …” She fell quiet. 

Anya surged to her feet and closed the distance between them, a handspan of distance between her and this beautiful, wonderful, deceitful girl. Anya’s voice was almost silky as she murmured, “Don’t want to betray your dear friends? Oh no. Well it is far too late. We apparently aren’t quite as stupid as you were all counting on.” 

“Please Mistress. They just wanted to go back to the ship.” Echo tried to explain, “And …” 

“And? And what? Suddenly that isn’t what you want either? Hmmm? Or are you simply wanting to keep your comfortable life here, even if it is with me, until you are ready to depart? Raven has to have her baby, doesn’t she? Before you all can rip her away from her family and use her to fly up to that hulk of metal in space. From the stories you told me, those people have tried to murder you a hundred times over but oh, I’m the villain, hmm? Is that what you’ve convinced yourselves? We’re the bad ones. Well, you may have made me suffer, that much is true, but you have poisoned your own bodies to do so. I hope you are pleased with what you have wrought.” 

“No. Mistress. No. please. Okay please. Just listen to us.” Bellamy’s voice was heavy and urgent. “We had decided to stay. We want to stay. We did not take it. We didn’t take it. I didn’t take it. Please … it just spilled, that’s all. It was just a mess and I’ve never touched it since. I promise. I promise. Test me …. There has to be some sort of test to check. To show I can still … please ... please.” 

Unable to bear the pleading any longer, Anya slapped Bellamy so hard her hand stung afterwards. Instantly she regretted the movement as he fell silent and watched her with reproachful eyes, a split on his lip smearing blood over his chin. 

“Mistress.” Echo whispered and she rounded on the girl and hated it when Echo then flinched. 

“Do you have something more to say to me, Echo? Hmmm?” Anya demanded, “What? You may as well say it now. There is no point for lies any longer. We are at the end of it after all.” 

Echo’s back straightened and Anya was once again reminded why she had selected the beauty. Such fire. Damn it. She was fierce and she was glorious with it. She watched the magnificent girl lift her chin and meet Anya’s eyes with her own. Anya arched her brow and waited, imperious and demanding, expecting further defiance and lies. 

“Thank you.” 

Anya staggered back. It was not what she had expected at all. She opened her mouth to speak, to toss out a barb or some sharp retort, and then found herself unable to find one. 

“No one has ever chosen me. Not my whole life. Not even Bellamy. I believe he loves me but it took a long time for us to get there after years of hurting one another.” Echo explained quietly, in that same strong voice. “But you chose me. You liked me, right from the beginning. You said I was fierce and beautiful. And you liked all the things about me that I often hate about myself. You made me trust you. I know it was all mixed up with the medications and the drugs and the everything.” Echo shook her head wryly and then continued, “But you chose me to be yours. Thank you. I want to stay. If you give me a chance, I’ll show you. Please. Just a chance.” 

Anya looked away, turning slowly away from them and finding her way back to the chair she had left so abruptly. Her gaze was on the fallen knife as she spoke, confessing the truth because there was no longer any point to the fiction, “The _treatments_ didn’t work on you. Either of you. Or really, any of you from old Earth. We aren’t sure why. It was just discovered yesterday. I mean the body changes exist, the lust is heightened but … it did not cause you to care for me. We were caught in our own web for we do, in fact, feel for you what we thought you would return. But it failed. A spectacular irony and a story I would thoroughly enjoy, were I not the centre of it.” 

She missed the way Bellamy and Echo looked at each other but she heard as Bellamy spoke, “But I do love you. I love you even though you scare the hell out of me.” He scoffed lightly and then flinched. When she slapped him, she split his lip and she regretted it now as she had the moment she had done it. “But that’s apparently my type because Echo scares the fuck out of me too sometimes. If the _treatments_ didn’t work that way, that means that what I feel is real. It means this is real, right? So I am asking for you to trust me. I know that doesn’t come easily but if you love me, like you say you do, perhaps you could try?” 

Anya scowled, disliking having her own words thrown back at her. She looked up at them both from her perch on her chair, letting the silence fall. The room was quiet, the seconds turning into minutes. Finally she rose to her feet and crouched low enough to pick up the knife. As she rose to her feet again, she watched as Bellamy stretched a little taller, waiting to see what she would do. Reaching up, she cut away the bindings she had tied and to her surprise, once his limbs were free, Bellamy wrapped his arms around her, hugging her with all his considerable strength. Despite herself, Anya laughed as she lifted one hand to card through his dark curls, “My foolish boy.” She heard his choked sob and his arms tightened for just a few seconds before finally letting go. 

Anya stepped to the side and met Echo’s gaze, “I’m choosing you again. Do not make me regret it. I am not a forgiving woman.” Echo smiled and nodded, “Yes Mistress. Thank you.” 

Once free, the younger woman’s hand traced over Anya’s dark locks, “You need a hot bath, a good meal and a long night in bed with both of us. And Bellamy deserves an apology kiss for that slap.” she murmured. 

“You are very bold, my little brat.” Anya replied, half astonished. 

Echo just laughed, “Oh no, we have you now. You admitted that you love us and relieved us from the fear that all of what we felt for you was fiction created for us. Instead all things are real and you are ours. I didn’t take a drop of that medicine and I’m going to give you a beautiful baby, Mistress Anya. Just you wait.” 

Anya feigned a sigh, “Well as long as they have your ferocity and their father’s curls, I suppose I will be satisfied.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm always curious if I can get people to empathize with the technical villains of my twisted tale. Would love to hear your thoughts. Critique is always welcome here. Thank you for all who read my work. If I can engage you at all in my story I consider myself satisfied. Thank you again to DialedIn for her editing skills and encouragement. Happy 💜day to all of us.


	11. broken bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Jackson faces some hard truths and Gustus delivers them.
> 
> _Trigger warning for references to sterilization and termination/abortion. Please do not read if triggering for you._

**_“My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.”_ **

**_Eric_ **

Ilian had asked him to come to his office and frankly he had put it off as long as he could. He fussed, delayed and ignored the repeated knocks at the door from messengers until Nathan finally banged fiercely. When he tugged it open, his lover looked at him with eyes like flint and Eric felt embarrassed by his own childish behaviour.

“Let’s go. I was sent to bring you. Don’t make me look bad.” Nathan grumbled and Eric felt more the fool for doing just that. He slipped a soothing arm around Nathan’s shoulders but the other man shrugged it off and started to walk. Eric had to hurry to keep pace. They walked down to Ilian’s office, through the snow buffeted around their knees and the wind rising from the water, blowing ice across their vision in the chilly late afternoon. 

The door opened and he was ushered inside, encouraged to shuck his thick jacket and sturdy boots. Nathan did the same. Eric would miss a few things about this world and one of those was their abundance of practical and well-made garments. A cup of hot tea was placed in his hands and he and Nathan were asked to head down to the office. Ilian was already seated there, chatting with someone on a screen that he could not see. The promise of communication with someone elsewhere was encouraging. They just had to figure out how to use it properly and they could begin to coordinate their escape. 

Ilian rose to his feet and waved a hand at the vacated chair. There was a sadness about the young Master in the last few days that bothered Eric and was clearly upsetting Nathan. He hated that Nathan had grown so attached to their captor. It was a word he liked to use to reinforce the knowledge that all of this was a predatory game these people played. However, time spent with Ilian always seemed to result in further attachment, a fact Eric readily credited to the _treatments_. 

To his surprise, when Eric looked at the screen, he was faced with Gustus, an older man and also a physician. He supposed in another life and in another place, they might have been friends and colleagues. Instead this man had acquired Raven Reyes, John Murphy and Emori. He also had the gall to arrange the impregnation of one of them. He hoped that this was a consultation about the end of that pregnancy, for which he only felt a pang of guilt. They had made harder choices and Raven was young enough to have a future with many children that she chose to conceive. 

“Master Gustus.” he started with a polite nod. Eric knew it was sensible to play along and the one thing the Ark’s totalitarian ways had taught him was how to be a proficient liar. 

“Dr. Jackson … that’s the title that is preferred from old Earth, isn’t it?” Gustus acknowledged politely. “Thank you for taking the time to speak with me. I appreciate it. I apologize for disrupting your work.” 

“Of course. Always happy to speak with you.” Eric lied and then nodded agreeably, “Are Raven, Emori and Murphy alright?” 

The smile he received was tinged in bitterness, “As well as may be expected under the circumstances.” Gustus replied and Eric felt a rush of victory. He felt terribly for Raven but hard choices were sometimes necessary and now they could really plan for their flight to freedom. Gustus continued, “I wanted to speak to you about this.” The older man held up a full bottle of the clear liquid and Eric’s heart leapt in his chest. SHIT! 

“I don’t recognize it, how may I help?” Eric returned calmly. 

Gustus blinked and seemed to shake himself before continuing, “I am aware that the purpose of this formulation was birth control, yes? Unfortunately, this particular formulation created a further problem. I’m sending a data packet to you of some of the key compounds we use in the _treatments_. I’ll let you take a moment with it.” 

Ilian showed him how to open the files that Gustus sent. Nathan peered over his shoulder but didn’t understand much of what Eric was reading. It took Eric several minutes and then he spotted it. The physician swallowed hard and glanced up, his back straightening defensively. 

Gustus held up his hand, “Don’t bother lying. I can see you understand what you have just read. I must inform you that your medication has likely resulted in the permanent sterilization of several members of your group. I hope I have reached most of them in time to advise them of the contraindication and the consequences of continued consumption of the medication.” 

The older man paused and raked a hand roughly through his hair and took a breath, letting it out slowly before continuing. Nathan had slumped into a seat. Eric looked over at him and then up to meet the hard eyes of his Master. Eric flinched and looked away again. This was a fucking disaster. 

“I’ve sent you some recommended modifications to the formulation that would correct the error and allow it to fulfil what I assume was your original purpose, unless of course, you intended to ensure that none of them would bear children.” 

“I would never…” he swallowed hard, realizing that he had rushed and now perhaps taken away something important to the others. Fuck, Octavia, Bellamy, Echo, Emori and Murphy - he had told all of them to take it daily. Which meant they had likely already passed the point of prospective recovery. 

Gustus sighed, “No. I don’t think you did this deliberately and for that, I can understand if not forgive. It is likely you will have to stay in place until spring, when other decisions may be made.” 

“Oh but if …” Eric started before Gustus fixed him with a hard stare and fell silent, “Despite your most persuasive efforts Dr. Jackson, Raven is still pregnant. I am given to understand none of you can leave without her. So you will wait. Until then, refrain from your unorthodox experimentation. If you require records or a consult, I would rather you message than make an error like this in future. Until then, please serve Ilian’s people with more kindness than you have your own.” 

The screen snapped to black before Eric could find the words to respond. He rose to his feet slowly and turned to look at Ilian. The other man merely stated quietly, “I’ll send the information Gustus sent forwarded to your terminal in the lab. You can leave my office now. Thank you for coming.” 

Eric glanced at his lover and murmured, “Nathan?” 

“Give me a minute here, Eric.” The other man replied quietly. Eric nodded, unsure what else to say. He trudged back up the stairs and pulled on his winter gear slowly. The error was so glaring that he couldn’t believe he had done it. As a physician, he had made challenging decisions before but this time his decision had far-reaching consequences. He wasn’t sure if any of them would forgive him this time. 

Nathan did not join him for several hours, finally crawling into bed beside him. Ilian did not join them, although he had rarely done so since they returned from the Gathering at Sanctum almost two months ago. 

“So I guess you’re pissed Raven is still pregnant.” Nathan murmured in the dark, without even a greeting beforehand. Eric turned to face him, “Hey … we agreed that this was the right plan.” 

“Yeah, before we sterilized our friends and asked Raven to get rid of her baby. This isn’t better. We aren’t better here. Monty said to do better. That’s what he said.” Nathan stated in hushed, harsh tones. 

“Hey! That’s not fair. They are the ones who did this to us. They …” Eric started. 

“Like we’re so much better. I was in line to get floated on the Ark. No one was advocating for me. I was a few months to my date of death when I was dropped to the ground like garbage, a fucking canary in a coal mine. Since then I’ve been trying to find someone I could believe in and I could live my life. Finally. I thought that was us. Maybe we don’t deserve to be free. We fucking break everything, Eric. What have we done?” The anger faded to tears and Eric’s reply disappeared in the face of Nathan’s distress. He wrapped his arms around the other man and held on tightly. 

“I didn’t mean to do this to them … I swear to you. I didn’t mean to do this to them. I thought I was saving us all. Fuck … I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Eric broke down at last and Nathan wrapped his arms around the physician as he processed his own regret. 

**_Gustus_**

Gustus shut off the connection and realized that he could put it off no longer. It was time to talk to his own family. It was time to break that family. He rose to his feet and made his way into the house from the small clinic where he worked most of the day. The pain blossomed with every step toward their home. He pushed open the door to find the others just sitting down to eat.

“Oh good. I thought you were going to be late.” John greeted warmly and poured the older man a glass of wine. His place was set and everyone looked like they were about to start. It was ideal timing and Gustus couldn’t resist having one last meal with them before it all came crashing to the end. 

“It looks wonderful, John.” Gustus replied sincerely, “Let me just go wash up and change my shirt and I’ll be right down. Don’t wait for me. I know we can’t keep our Raven hungry these days.” He dusted a soft kiss on the pregnant woman’s head as she protested. It would have been more of an effective protest if she didn’t have a mouthful of bread. 

Gustus scrubbed up quickly and then changed into a light sweater, one that Emori had complimented previously. This was probably rather pitiful but Gustus knew he was clinging to threads at this moment. Walking through the rooms, he collected the tins and bottles that he knew to be Emori and Raven’s. He had searched high and low at all available opportunities and had never discovered where John had hidden his. The man was a damned mastermind because Gustus was stumped. Sliding the items into his pockets, he made his way back to the dining table and settled into place. 

The conversation was easy and there was more warmth than there had been in the weeks since they returned from Sanctum. John was discussing the brewing process of a dark ale that he thought was particularly good. His enthusiasm was infectious and Raven lamented she wouldn’t get to try it for ages. Emori commented that she was almost done with his office and Gustus couldn’t help but invite her to the clinic for there were even more records in disarray. Her horror had everyone laughing as he explained he had gone without a good manager for years and it wasn’t his skill set. She declared it was now her job and Gustus immediately agreed, making everyone else laugh again. He didn’t want the dinner to end but as John cleared away the last dish and the others made a move to get up, Gustus knew it was time. 

“Before you go. I would like to discuss something with you.” he started, unconsciously conveying the gravity of his intended topic to his trio. Raven pressed a hand over her belly defensively as John seated himself again on Emori’s left. 

“What is it?” Emori asked quietly. Gustus reached into his pockets and set the small bottle of liquid on the table, with nearly a third missing. All of them stared at it like he had placed an agitated spider on the table rather than a small bottle. Gustus then set a few of the tins right next to the bottle. 

Emori stared at them and although she cleared her throat as if to speak, still she offered nothing. John’s hands folded over her left hand and said, “She had the right to choose. She didn’t want a baby now.” he started off. 

Before he could get further, the older man interjected, “There was a formulation error. Consumption of this product …” Gustus tapped the bottle, making the liquid inside slosh menacingly. “... will result in permanent sterilization if taken in sufficient quantities.” 

“What!” Emori’s gaze flicked up to him and then back to the bottle. Her breathing had picked up and she pushed away John’s hands defensively. 

“You’re fucking lying!” John rose to his feet and glared at Gustus as he shouted, “You’re just saying that to punish her for not wanting to give you a baby. You fucking bastard.” 

The physician looked up at John as he leaned back in his chair, trying to will away the pain that was consuming him. The emotional loss was taking a physical toll that he would have to process later. Gustus then nodded, “Well it is good to know what you really think of me, John, but no. I am not. I have already advised your Dr. Jackson and provided him an alternative to the formulation. He’ll be sending the revised product along shortly, you will have the right to continue to take it but it may, at this point, no longer be necessary for you Emori. I’m sorry to say that. More than I can say, I am so sorry.” He reached out a hand to touch her shoulder but she leapt away, her chair falling back as she did so. John wrapped his arms around her, his chest to her back as he held her. 

Gustus sighed softly, “John. I have been unable to locate your hiding spot. I’m going to need you to go get it. This is a dangerous product and I cannot allow it to remain loose on my property. Please go get it. There is no reprimand forthcoming. I think the consequences you and Emori are already facing are more than enough … more than anyone should have to bear. I need to know how much you have consumed, John. Please. It’s important.” 

John shook his head. “No.” 

“John … please. If a child or an animal found it and consumed any of it, it could be fatal. All medications will be properly stored from now on. None of this nonsense. Your point is assuredly made. We now have to deal with practicalities.” Gustus reasoned calmly, and although he wanted to lash out, he knew it was pointless. 

“I can’t …” John turned his body, pulling Emori into a proper hug, his arms wrapped around her upper shoulders as she started to cry. Gustus rose to his feet. “I understand you want to be with Emori right now. Just tell me where it is and I’ll go collect it. I promise I will not interfere with Dr. Jackson’s delivery. Just tell me.” 

John shook his head and looked away and Gustus’ patience was nearing its end. “John.” he scolded. 

“I don’t have it okay! I don’t!” John finally growled back. Emori looked confused and peeled away from her lover, “John?” she whispered quietly, hands dashing away her tears. 

John met her eyes but didn’t look at Gustus and that alone was a knife in the older man’s heart, “I didn’t think we were doing this … going along with their scheme. I thought … I thought we were staying so I … I threw it off the boat.” 

“Murphy!” Raven exclaimed. Emori looked shocked and even Gustus had to admit he was astonished. 

The young man looked defensive as he stepped away from Emori and the table. He pressed his hands into his face and then gestured wildly in Raven’s direction, “There’s a baby! It could be my baby! And if Raven has to leave then one of its parents should stay. So me … me and you I thought. Raven too if she told the rest of them to go fuck themselves.” John’s words were a torrent of anger. Then he blanched, seeming to realize how much he had just given away, “Oh I …” His gaze flung around and settled on Gustus, “I didn’t …” 

“I know. About all of it. Including that Raven started the course of treatment to terminate the pregnancy and then changed her mind. It has not been a good few weeks for me.” Gustus affirmed before sinking back into his chair, “There is more … please … sit.” 

Raven was watching this all proceed with wide eyes. She opened her mouth to speak and Gustus’ hand closed over hers. “I don’t blame you, pretty girl. I really don’t … thank you for choosing to keep the baby. That means more than I can say, although I am well aware you did not do it for me.” Raven just stared at him with wide, dark eyes, silent in the face of all the emotion buffeting around the room. 

The others took their seats again, although Emori was clearly struggling to contain her tears. “I hope we have caught it in time. In a few months I can examine you to see if there is still damage. I will do everything I can to help you for as long as you are here, if you wish to allow me to help you, that is. Perhaps children have never been your wish at all. If so then we can let things be.” Gustus assured kindly. 

Then he sighed deeply, “I have never lied to you, omitted things perhaps but never lied. Do you remember when you first arrived and I advised that the _treatments_ , as barbaric as they may be at times, result in a bond between us.” His gaze swept over them and he paused to let them each acknowledge his words. 

“Well, we did not know it then, but it has become apparent that we should all be very grateful that you have not slit our throats while we slept. We are bonded to you. That much is true and the longer I have spent with you, the more entrenched that bond has become. When you leave me I will experience a long-lasting sense of loss. The younger Masters and Mistresses will be more fortunate. However, Anya and I … well, our families’ departure will be a life-long grief. However, when you wish to leave, I will let go gracefully on two conditions. For as long as you are here, you will treat my home and my people with the same respect you have already demonstrated. I think you can guess the latter condition.” 

“The baby stays.” Raven whispered.

Gustus nodded, “That’s right. The baby stays. They will be so loved, my heir, have everything they could dream of and I shall tell them every day how much you loved them. I promise Raven.” Her hands circled around her abdomen and she dashed away tears with a rough shrug. Gustus wanted to hold her but couldn’t imagine she desired his touch. 

“Wait … wait…” John interjected with a choked voice, “You said the bond went both ways. Won’t we suffer if we leave? Like … you said before.” 

“That is the caveat. We aren’t sure of the cause yet and given how limited the sample is, we may never know, but the bonding has failed for all of you from old Earth. We have been, perhaps rightfully, hoisted on our own petard as they used to say. We are very bonded to you. You feel some attraction perhaps but love … affection … that bond … it doesn’t exist for you. As was just demonstrated by your accusation, John, you don’t actually care much for me at all. I am just one more thing in your long life of endurance and survival that you will recall with horror. I am so sorry, I truly never meant to be one more monster in your lives.” 

Gustus sighed and then continued, “If I was younger, more … something, perhaps I would have the chance to win it over, court you and succeed. Perhaps if I were a handsome young fellow like Lincoln or Ilian but … I will move my things to one of the downstairs bedrooms and leave you the upstairs suite. You can be together as much as you wish. Take care of each other. Raven …” he glanced over at the pregnant beauty, “of course, you don’t need to come to me except for your medical needs if that is your preference. It is winter now. Everyone is close at hand. If I may suggest, freezing some of your milk for the baby, but of course, that is entirely up to you. I may feel like your Master but I am now, finally, painfully aware that you do not regard me as such and never have.” Gustus sighed and rolled to his feet. 

“I think I have given you a lot of information in a short span of time. I encourage you to take the night and think about it. With your permission, I will join you for breakfast tomorrow and answer your questions then if you wish. After that we can work out a schedule to ensure you see me as little as possible. I will do my best to make your remaining time here tolerable.” Gustus continued and then nodded respectfully. 

The desire to offer comfort and hold each of them close was so strong that he felt as though he were suffocating in the longing. Only his will forced him to continue to walk away. Every step hurt. The truth was out but it had been a painful truth and one he would have preferred to avoid as long as possible. If Emori’s health wasn’t damaged with every dose, he might have let himself savour just a little more time with them, deception or not. However, he couldn’t let her continue to poison herself, not even to hold her one last time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Broke my own gosh darn heart writing this one. For those who have inquired the Lexa and Clarke chapter is coming up in the next chapter and it is a wee bit dramatic. I hope you enjoyed this one. I'd love to hear your thoughts should you wish to leave a comment or thought. I appreciate each of you for taking the time to read my work. I hope you are enjoying it!! Thanks again to my beta reader, DialedIn, for making sure I actually make sense. Have a lovely day all!!


	12. crushed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Lexa reels from the revelations and Titus takes matters into his own hands.**
> 
> _Trigger warning for references to sterilization. Please do not read if triggering for you._

**_“I’m mistaken…._ **

**_for thinking you were someone with a heart worth breaking.”_ **

**_Lexa_ **

Lexa broke the connection and sat back in her chair. The information Gustus had relayed ripped through her. The betrayal was breathtaking. Contrary to the views of many in her world, her life had not been easy. Her father had been a demanding man, expecting his only child to live up to near impossible standards. Their territory was wealthy and vast but contained communities perpetually in upheaval. There was always a conflict to mediate or a problem to remedy. It had been exhausting, maintaining cohesion in the face of such constant turmoil.

All Lexa’s life, she was told that she would have one respite, one source of comfort - her breeder. That was how it had been for her father. His only love was his Lexa’s mother, a delightful woman whom he adored every hour she drew breath from the day they were bonded. It never occurred to the young leader that the binding process facilitated by the _treatments_ was wrong. To Lexa, it was the cornerstone of love. 

Titus, her father’s right hand man, and now hers, assured her that her father had been a cold man before his bonding to his breeder. All softness could be attributed to his love for her and the desire to make her happy. Lexa’s mother, Lissa, had been a petite artist with striking features and a warm heart. She was enraptured with Lexa’s father and a gentle mother to her only child. Her mother passed shortly after Lexa’s twentieth birthday. Her father had been destroyed. There were medications the older man could have taken to splinter the bond with his lost breeder. The man refused them all and his heart could not withstand the stress. Within the space of two months, Lexa turned twenty, became an orphan, and inherited her title and lands. 

Was it any wonder that when she saw Clarke in the program, she had been entranced. She hadn’t even intended to acquire anyone, only initially planning to attend to support Anya and of course, attend the parties and forge connections with the allies that she needed to keep the peace in her territory. Then Clarke appeared before her and Lexa had known instantly. This breeder was the one she had been waiting for and she understood her father in a way she never had before. Oh, how she wished he were still here so she could tell him, tell him she understood and forgive him for all her anger at him choosing to leave her when she still needed his comfort and counsel. 

Oh, but the bitterness at realizing that she had made such a grievous error. She had selected someone to love who would not be bound to her in turn. She would have done all within her power to bring Clarke joy and the woman had only plotted to leave her. 

“Lexa?” She heard the voice as if shouted from a great distance. She turned her head more out of habit than interest. A man’s hand brushed her shoulder and she glanced up. Perhaps if it had been another, she would have found a way to keep her reserve intact. However, it was Titus. A man so like a father or beloved uncle to her that she knew she would not be able to deceive him into believing she was not destroyed. She surged out of her seat and wrapped her arms around the man. The words poured out of her, relaying Clarke’s deception, the medications, the pregnancy prevention and worst of all, that she was not loved. Her heart was broken, shattered into pieces, and she felt as though it would never be whole again. 

Lexa finally truly understood her father’s choice on that grim day. To contemplate a life without the one you loved, after decades together, must have been unbearable. She had Clarke for less than a year and felt as though she could lay on the cool, dark earth and allow the snow to bury her. Lexa knew she would not have her father’s good fortune. At less than a year and given her young age and generally excellent health, she would survive, even if she refused all of Gustus’ pledged medical assistance to help sever the bond. 

Titus was perplexed and later she would feel a pang of guilt and some small amusement at the recollection of his consternation. She did not weep, especially in such an effusive and dramatic manner. Proficient at calm and thoughtful action, Lexa was a ruler who did not sway easily with emotion, not even her own. This distressed state was beyond Titus’s understanding of her. 

Finally she calmed, pulling herself together. Once she was sitting apart from the rather squished looking man, he rose to his feet and rooted in a cupboard, only to produce an excellent bottle of whiskey. He poured them each a large tumbler of the restorative concoction. Lexa was delighted to pour the first glass down her throat and then hold out her hand for another generous measure. They drank until the bottle was drained, although to be fair, Lexa imbibed most of it. She finally passed out, head curled into the arm of a comfortable chair, although the crook in her neck upon waking belied the idea of its comfort. 

“‘Morning Titus.” she mumbled as she pushed back the jacket tossed over her. It had been Titus’ and it touched her that he still cared for her as though she was a child, even after all these years. The recollection of the day before wiped the emotion from her and the eyes she turned up to Titus were vulnerable in a way she had not been since she buried her father. 

“I think it would be prudent for you to take this time to visit Liston before the holiday season is upon us.” Titus proposed gently. It was a community named after her mother and the one with which Lexa had the most secure alliance. 

“I don’t think …” she started quietly before Titus interrupted. 

“Lexa! You need to depart for just a few days. The medications from Gustus should be here by the week’s end to allow you to start severing the bond.” The words were hard but kindly spoken. Lexa drew a sharp breath but despite it all, she did not truly wish to sever the bond. She loved Clarke, with every fiber of her being. To part with her deliberately was a violation of all she believed of the bond. 

“I don’t think that would be wise.” she murmured as rose to her feet and stretched, trying to find her equilibrium again. 

“I have served you all of your life, Lexa LeBeau. Every minute since you first drew breath, you have been a queen to me. Before you were born, I served your father for over a decade. I have been by your side through it all. You will survive this. You are strong. You will bond with someone worthy of you.” Titus assured firmly, “Now all I ask is for a little trust. Go to Liston. Visit with the elders and the Council before returning to a fresh perspective. There is no need for rash decisions.” 

Lexa nodded, “Alright. This time I shall listen. This time.” 

Titus chuckled softly, “Miracles never cease. I would expect nothing less.” He picked up his jacket from where it was discarded. “I will instruct the groomsman to prepare the sleigh. Then, I will go ask the cook to prepare some food for the journey. She usually has the makings of a good packed lunch at hand, whenever required. You shall be away long enough I think. Just long enough.” The man then left the room. There was something ominous in Titus’ words but she couldn’t put her finger on it. She was too heart-sick and hungover to think it through. 

She boarded the sleigh within the hour, with luggage packed, a good luncheon and a few token gifts. Titus was nothing if not prepared. It took all of Lexa’s willpower not to go see Clarke but she knew that if she did, she might break down. She could not afford to break. She had hundreds of thousands of people relying on her. A territorial clash would cost far too much and yet fools with hot tempers and covetous eyes saw little of the price borne by the innocent, including those that starved in the famine that would inevitably follow a conflict. You could not turn farmland into a battlefield and still expect to feed your people. 

Once the sleigh was underway, Lexa tugged up the furs, swallowed a sleeping tablet, and fell asleep on the wide bench seat. She arrived in Liston with as much false good spirit as she could muster. She sat at the grand dinner and spoke effusively of the chef’s fine cuisine, although she scarcely tasted it. Shesaid all the right things, despite not wanting to say anything at all. Her father had taught her well. When she rose the next day, the ominous feeling began to build, no longer buried under her hangover and the residual heartbreak. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. 

By midday, she could not bear it any longer. She advised her hosts of her need to depart, bade them all the joy of the upcoming holiday season and rushed to her sleigh. Her luggage was hastily boarded and she was under way. It was well after dark when she approached the house but not late enough that everyone would already be in bed. Still, every room on the upper floors, particularly Clarke’s rooms were dark. 

There was dread building and yet she raced toward the main house, her footsteps light and swift with urgency. She climbed the stairs and raced through every room. There was no one. She scurried back down to find the groom having a light snack in the kitchen. 

“Where is everyone?” she demanded in a rush. Her heart hammered so loud that she actually had to say ‘what’ to have him speak up to hear his reply. “They are all gone, Mistress Lexa. Master Titus gave them all the night off and some money to spend at the dance hall. No one will be home for hours.” 

“You didn’t go?” she asked, with suspicion in every line of her body. 

The groom was unperturbed, “Nah Miss, my ex girlfriend will be there with her new man and I didn’t need to see that. Thought I’d get a good night in. Good thing too with you coming back so soon, had to be here to take care of the horses.” 

“Right, right.” Lexa was assured by his words but thrown by the entire situation, “Sorry to disturb you.” She offered for the sake of good manners but the groom just nodded politely and wrapped his sandwich to head to his quarters adjacent to the barn, where most of the outdoor staff had little cottages in a row, each painted a bright colour and surrounded by wildflower gardens. It was her mother’s fancy that Lexa saw no reason to change. 

She sighed and tapped her fingers on the counter in a rhythmic attempt to focus herself. Where could Titus be? Where was Clarke? She had a terrible feeling and could not put it to rest. She paced through the grand home, looking in every room, peering out the windows, and finally, in the distance, she spotted it. The old storage shed had light glowing through the windows. There was nothing in it. No one lived there. There was only … oh by all the ancient gods, no. 

Lexa ran. She didn’t bother with a jacket, just pulling on her boots and running out the door. She ran down the path, her feet slipping out from under her in her haste. She fell several times but each time she ignored the shock and pain to surge to her feet again, continuing to run. As she burst through the door, Lexa gasped at the scene before her. The only things in this small shed were the two beds that her parents had died upon. It was tradition to keep the frame and burn the mattress. Unable to bear looking upon them, she had ordered the furniture to be placed in storage and never turned her mind to it again, not until this moment. 

Clarke was bound, wrists to the headboard and ankles to the footboard, on the old springs and sturdy wooden slats of the bed on which her father died. Titus was standing over her, pouring another dose down her throat. “Filthy, deceitful whore.” Titus was in the midst of snarling before, not even looking up, he shouted at the intruder. “Not now, I’ve only gotten half into her. Get out!” 

“Who in all seven hells do you think you are speaking to?!?” Lexa growled. Titus’ eyes flew wide and he stepped back. Then his spine straightened and he met Lexa’s furious gaze with one of ice. “She deserves it. She took from you. Your trust. Your affection. The child you deserved. The child you were going to _allow_ this filthy breeder to carry for you and instead she betrayed you. I see no reason she should not bear all of the burden of that shame.” 

Lexa’s gaze ran over the room, evaluating every object. The tins were scattered and half empty, dust from the pills scattered across the table top. They had been crushed, liquified, poured down Clarke’s throat. “NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” Lexa screamed. Without thought, she surged forward, withdrew her knife from her belt loop and slid the blade across Titus’ throat. His hands flew up, clutching at the injury as it sprayed over Lexa, bathing her in his blood. He collapsed to the ground but Lexa could not find it within herself to care. 

Lexa turned to Clarke, her hands flying to cut away the bindings on the wounded and unconscious breeder. With every ounce of her remaining strength, she propped the other woman against her shoulder and dragged her out into the night, shouting for assistance. She was blessed as the earnest groom nursing a broken heart heard her cries and ran without hesitation. Once Clarke was in the clinic, he then selected their fastest horse and rode to fetch the physician to lend aid. Lexa prayed they were not too late. 

**_Clarke_**

Clarke swam toward the light after existing blissfully in the cool comfort of the dark. She was tempted to stay but something propelled her forward, up and out of that darkness and in the harsh world once again. She moaned and then heard a rustle of movement. She blinked and then flinched. Too bright. It was all too bright still.

“Clarke?” Lexa murmured. She’d recognize that voice anywhere. She reached out a hand toward her and collided with the cold metal of the bedframe with a flinch before she felt that warm touch on her hand. Where was she? 

“Lexa.” she managed to get out but the words were rough and she could hardly speak. Her throat burned and felt raw inside. What the hell happened. She was in the clinic. Figuring that out restored a little bit of her own sense of self and she opened her eyes again, just a little to peer around the room. 

“What happened?” she asked before gesturing with one hand, silently asking for a little water, something, to help with her throat. A cup was offered and she took careful sips before it was taken away again. She felt bereft when the cup left. If she had been more herself, she would have laughed at the idea of being sad about a cup of water being taken away but in that moment she felt like a child who just had a treat ripped away for no reason. 

“Do you not remember?” Lexa murmured, her voice so quiet that Clarke had to strain to hear. She shook her head and then groaned as the pain seemed to rattle around her skull, stabbing at her eyes. 

“Three weeks ago, I left at Titus’ urging to visit Liston after receiving some, um, news.” The Mistress started and the name Titus had Clarke sitting up and glancing around wildly. “Is he here!?!” she demanded urgently. Lexa rose to her feet again, pressing on Clarke’s shoulders and cautioning her to remain still. 

“No, no … of course not Clarke. I killed him.” Lexa assured. Later she would grieve, weep for the last one who loved her as a parent might and not a leader, but he had crossed an unforgivable boundary with his torture of Clarke and she felt no true regret at his death. With his passing at her hand, she had finally become the leader he had always wanted her to be - ruthless. 

Clarke blinked and tried to calm but it was hard, “What … what did he do? I just remember …” What did she remember? There was little of it. It was dark around the edges, as if her brain simply didn’t want to process the events that had occurred. She remembered a quiet day - Lexa being busy and then leaving suddenly. She remembered sketching. She remembered a knock at the door and then, silence. Silence and terrible pain. 

Lexa blew out a harsh sigh and then bent forward to meet Clarke’s eyes with her clear, authoritative gaze. “I was advised of the medications made by Eric Jackson, the physician that belongs to Master Ilian. I was also advised that contrary to the purpose of the treatments, you feel nothing for me. You were my love. I was not yours. Therefore, you elected to ensure you would never bear a child for me and intended to leave this planet’s surface on a foolhardy mission to breach the ionosphere and return to your ship. I had just discovered this information. I was … distressed.” The woman paused and reached behind her to tug over a chair and settle into it. Her gaze remained fixed on Clarke’s face. 

Clarke opened her mouth to protest some of the assertions the Mistress was making but Lexa held up a hand. “Let me speak first and then I assure you all questions will be answered. Titus discovered me in this state and offered comfort. He encouraged me to visit an ally and friend, a sort of restorative distance while another physician created something to help sever my side of the bond. I did not appreciate his intentions, what his true intentions happened to be. For this, I can only beg your forgiveness. I had known Titus all my life and even I was shocked at what he has done to you..” Lexa continued. Her hand shook slightly so she pocketed it in such a way that Clarke suspected she was not supposed to notice. The pang of guilt and pain was a surprise. Poor Lexa, she thought mournfully. 

“The medications had been described and photographed so we assume he found those images. We are also guessing that he found them among your supplies, your art room was quite thoroughly destroyed. He ... ‘ Lexa swallowed hard and Clarke found herself terrified to hear what came next. She had no recollection of anything after Titus appearing at her door. 

“He managed to get the staff out of the house, sending them out for some pre-holiday celebrations, and then he took you to an old shed. It was a place he knew he was unlikely to be disturbed. He proceeded to… feed you almost all of Jackson’s medications. It appears that he forced you to consume the white pills, the liquid birth control, and had just started on the lavender coloured tablets when I returned home and discovered where you were. I had a bad feeling you see… a very bad feeling. I was too late. Far too late.” Lexa explained and then took a breath and let it out before continuing, “We had received notice that your friend’s formulation contained a tragic error. A contraindication with one of the medications utilized heavily in the treatments. As a result of that error, the medication consumed in sufficient quantity results in permanent sterilization.” 

Lexa’s hand folded over hers and the woman whispered, “I am so sorry Clarke. You will never be able to bear a child. Perhaps when you return to the ship, your mother will find a way to … but the physicians I have on my staff indicate that it is impossible.” Clarke stared, shocked by these words, shocked by these events and yet felt numb at this pronouncement. She wanted to protest more over Lexa’s declaration that Clarke felt nothing for Lexa than this pregnancy nonsense. It seemed so remote in this moment. Surely someone could fix it. They were just being defeated by their long history of fertility crisis after fertility crisis. She was not so easily persuaded. 

“Oh.” she whispered. She wasn’t sure she ever wanted more children. She had Madi and that had always felt like enough. However, it had always been some future possibility and now, it was gone. 

“I’d like to sleep now please.” Clarke whispered. 

“Of course Clarke. I’m so sorry, please know that. If only I had gotten home sooner then I could have prevented this tragedy. Please get some rest. I will sit right here and if you need anything, you have only to ask.” Lexa replied quietly. 

Clarke wasn’t sure she wanted Lexa seated there, waiting, and yet she found herself comforted by Lexa’s softly spoken words. She felt as though she could sleep for a thousand years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fun and dramatic chapter that I hope you enjoyed. I look forward to your thoughts. Thank you to everyone for reading and to DialedIn for her editing assistance. Have a fantastic day.


	13. fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first and perhaps only holidays on their little island

**_“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.”_ **

**_Murphy_ **

True to his word, Gustus’ possessions were cleared out from their family bedroom by mid-afternoon the day after the dinner conversation from hell. Breakfast had been a stilted affair and he couldn’t think of a single question. Usually he was brimming with curiosity, wanting to know the why of everything but, this time, he had nothing. Emori wouldn’t look at any of them and asked him to assist Raven by himself for a few days. She said she just needed a little time to process everything that had happened. Meanwhile, Raven was miserable, hiding in her lab room constantly and not really talking to him either. For the first time in a long time, Murphy felt completely alone.

It had been just starting to get good again. All the bad feeling that sprang up from the Harvest shitshow had faded away as they had settled back into life on their island. To be entirely fair, he may have convinced himself that once Raven held her baby in her arms there was no way they were leaving. Fuck the rest of them. One of them could take a few years and learn how to be a pilot or something. Would only be a few hours on the Eligius IV after all. 

Was it perfect? Absolutely not, but to be fair what had been perfect in his life? A few years when he was small when he had both of his parents and they loved him - that had been pretty good. Then he got the flu and his father was floated, his mother died a drunk and he ended up in the skybox, on the short track to being floated on his 18th. There was no one planning to come help him. 

Earth hadn’t been much better. Aside from meeting Emori, it was a lot of pain, starvation, and frustration. Emori had made it worthwhile but it still was mostly shit if he was entirely honest. So on planet Alpha, he was owned. It may not have been ideal; however, Master Gus didn’t exactly expend a lot of effort exercising control over him. He had so much fucking food to eat it was ridiculous. He was learning how to make beer. He had a room full of books, a world of history to learn about and a house. Dogs! There were fucking dogs and some feral cats that often approached him to have their ears scratched. He had never met a cat before. It was cool. They were cool. Apparently they didn’t just come hang out with any humans except their particular favourites. He was one of those favourites. There were a lot of things that he loved about this place. 

He couldn’t believe that everyone else wanted to leave so badly. To what purpose? To go scrape out a living on some barren rock where there was nothing? He didn’t want to be a pioneer. He didn’t want to farm and he sure as hell didn’t want to struggle his entire life. He had thought Emori would feel the same - she was the queen of the survivor’s moves. What was a better survivor move than riding out a good life with a man who treated them like they were special and encouraged them to be together? They would stay and raise the baby with Master Gus and if Raven couldn’t be persuaded to stay then she could go knowing they would make sure she was never forgotten. He had waited until that first night, well after dark, on the ship heading back toward the island and chucked everything Jackson had given him as far as he could and prayed he didn’t poison some fish or some shit. He heard that distant splash and went back to curl up with the still unhappy Raven. _Fucking Jackson._

Murphy had no idea that Emori had made another choice altogether, one that meant there would be no children for them, ever. He had screamed at his Master when the physician revealed that piece of information, accused him of, fuck, he couldn’t even remember exactly. Punishing Emori or something? In that accusation, Murphy had broken something between him and the Master, and the older man hadn’t touched or looked at him since. God, he missed him so much, he was choking on it. 

They had worked out a sort of schedule for the main areas of the house, so that they rarely saw Gus anymore. Someone else was cooking his Master’s meals. He had seen them delivering the food and almost walked down to Gus’ clinic to throw it right back at them and tell them to fuck right off. He didn’t. However, he really wished he could do just that. He didn’t understand why he felt so possessive over him. Was it even him? Or was it this entire life that he felt slipping through his fingers like sand? The harder he tried to hold on, the more it slipped away. 

Murphy was pulled from these thoughts when he looked up to see Master Gus tugging a tree through the front door. What the hell was he doing? The snow was a metre deep outside. Why was the man bringing in a whole tree, branches and all? He made his way down the stairs and peered around the corner into the living area. The tree was propped against a wall as the Master was rooting around in some boxes. There were all these things everywhere, boxes, colourful containers, a jumble of bright and sparkly objects. Some of them looked very old and very delicate. 

“What are you doing?” he finally asked and watched as the older man nearly jumped out of his skin. 

“I’m going to have to put a bell on you.” Gus grumbled with a chuckle and a smile, and looked over at him for the first time in several weeks. Then the smile faded and he glanced away. “Sorry, I thought it was my time so I was just decorating for the holidays. Just let me finish the tree and I’ll let you have the room back, alright? Do you want me to put on the fire?” 

Murphy ignored the questions in favour of satisfying his curiosity. “Holidays? Like Christmas or something?” Murphy had lost all track of time and holidays. God, how long had it been since he celebrated a holiday. He wasn’t even sure when his birthday was anymore. 

“That’s what it used to be called. It was shifted to Winter Solstice or Yule about nine hundred or so years ago.” Master Gus explained as he started looking through the box again. “Ah there it is!” he exclaimed and pulled out whatever he had been looking for rather carefully. He set it on a thick pad he had laid on the ground and then tried to lift the tree. 

“Here, let me help.” Murphy offered as he figured out that the older man was trying to insert the base of the tree into the claw-like object. He helped direct the base of the tree into the claw and then watched as it snapped into place and held the tree upright in a small basin. His Master stepped back, gently fluffing the branches as he did so. “Just need to add some water for the tree and it’ll be good. Got a nice one this year. Really even.” he commented as if satisfied. Murphy had heard of this tradition, seen it in pictures and old movies but he had never seen a real Christmas tree before. 

“What do you think?” Master Gus asked seriously and Murphy realized this was the first conversation they had had in days. His heart was pounding. He felt a strange sort of panic, like it would take only one badly phrased sentence to have this moment end and he might never get another chance, which was ridiculous, wasn’t it? 

“Umm … I … I’ve never had a tree before but this one seems nice. I like it. Is it like in the pictures? Do we put, like, lights on it or something?” 

“Lights, decorations, I even have some really old tinsel that came all the way from old Earth. It’ll look great.” Master Gus relayed quite cheerfully. Murphy shrugged lightly as he ran his fingertips along the branch. “If you want I could … help decorate it. You know, if you wanted?” He was a heartbeat away from begging. 

Master Gus seated himself on a plush chair and pulled over a box to look into it again, making one of the dogs stretched out in front of the chair grumble and shift position. “I always thought … when I have a family … used to say that all the time … when I have a family, Yule is going to be the best day of the year. All the decorations ... When I have a family, our family will have the best dinner in the entire territory. Didn’t think I’d …” Master Gus shook his head and sighed softly, looking back up at him as he stood next to the tree. Murphy desperately wished that it was just a week or two ago when he could have lightly flirted and teased the older man, joking about another branch he wouldn’t mind decorating. Murphy ran his tongue over suddenly dry lips and Master Gus’ gaze got a little heated before looking away as he answered, “If you want to help me decorate, you’d be welcome, John.” 

“Sure … I have to go take care of Raven for a bit. If she’s interested too, can I ask her?” he asked quietly. He was making excuses because he knew if he didn’t leave soon, he’d end up breaking down in front of Master Gus and it was not an embarrassment he was prepared to face at this moment. The older man nodded and Murphy hurried down the hall and then the stairs, heading down to Raven’s lab, where she was still trying to figure out how to communicate with the Eligius IV. 

As he touched her shoulder, she turned in her chair and with the ease of practice, Murphy pressed a kiss to her lips as his fingers pulled open each button along the side of her tunic so that he could easily access her full breasts over the curve of her belly. At his touch, Raven turned and cupped the back of his head with one hand. She sighed in soft bliss as he latched on. 

Once he was done, he rested his chin on the distended belly and traced his hand over the curve. “There are Christmas decorations upstairs. I mean, he doesn’t call them that. Yule or Solstice or something but there is a tree and all these decorations to go on it. Wanna come and help?” 

Raven’s hand had been on the nape of his neck, toying with the fine hairs she found there when her head snapped to look down at him. “He’s there too?” Murphy grinned and nodded, “Yeah, he is. Apparently this is important to him. I’m going to start researching recipes later. Let’s go decorate though.” 

The pregnant woman was agreeable and he helped her dress again and held her hand as he helped her up the stairs. She was getting rounder by the day now. “Murphy?” she asked quietly. 

Murphy assumed she was going to ask about those biscuits he had made yesterday and looked over at her expectantly. Instead, Raven just looked at him for a long moment, “If you stay, promise me you’ll do this every year. Big holidays and meals and everything. For the baby. So that they know what it feels like.” 

His eyes pricked at the question and his voice was watery despite several attempts to clear his throat, “Every year. Biggest celebration I can put together. All the decorations, so many. I promise.” Raven didn’t answer, just nodded, as they walked hand-in-hand into the living room. 

**_Emori_**

Emori was sure her heart stopped the moment their Master placed that bottle on the table. She couldn’t think of a word to say that might deflect some of the guilt. Then he told her what she had done - poisoned her own body. There would be no blue eyed little ones in her life. She and John had discussed the possibility of children. It wasn’t like they had been terribly careful. They were probably lucky they hadn’t gotten pregnant before. Except now there would never be a baby. Quite the punishment for the lies she had told and the deception she had practiced. The worst part was that Master Gus would never have punished her like that, she had done it to herself.

She had finally figured it out. He assumed all that he felt, they felt too. The _bond_ they called it. She hadn’t been able to understand it for a long time but when he told them it hadn’t worked, it all came together. She had assumed the entire point of it all was to make them like their Master just enough. Enough to be generally obedient and not revolt against him. He hadn’t been terribly controlling so she couldn’t figure it out. Then she realized it never occurred to him they would revolt because he believed they loved him. It was truly supposed to be mutual. 

By taking the medications she had broken his heart and his trust all at once. In the spring, after the baby’s arrival, she had still been toying with the idea of staying. She didn’t want to leave Raven and she would never leave John. So if they wanted to stay, of course she would. If they wanted to go, she would have been sad to leave the life they had constructed for themselves, but she would have gone. 

She heard the tap at the door, pulling her from her thoughts. “I don’t want to t….” she started and then stopped as the door opened and she looked up into Master Gus’ eyes. “Oh… hi.” He seemed so unsure standing there, unwelcome in the bedroom that had been his. She hated that look in his eyes. 

“We’re decorating for the holidays. You would be welcome if you wished to join. It is up to you.” Master Gus invited and then nodded at her before turning away, the door closing behind him. Unable to stop herself, she hurried after the older man, catching up with him before he hit the stairs. She walked beside him, and felt a weird sort of happiness that he was talking to her again, even if he still didn’t meet her eyes. 

“Which holiday?” she asked quietly. 

“We call it Yule or Winter Solstice. I believe back on old Earth it was usually called Christmas so you may have heard of that. We decorate, make a great feast, exchange gifts with those you love like friends and family. It is quite fun. The actual celebration is in about three weeks. You are all welcome to spend the day as you wish. It doesn’t have to be with me.” The Master explained as they made their way down to the main living room area. When they were on the Ring, there had been some movies and books featuring Christmas. It was not a holiday that either she or Echo knew but the others had been shocked by that revelation. 

Raven was ruby cheeked as she was trying to get the lights on the tree just right and John was bent over a big box, tugging out a container of hand painted ornaments. Emori had never seen anything like it. “These are cool. ‘Mori, come see.” It was easy to slip into something fun, just for a little while. Hours later, they sat in front of the roaring fire, bowls of the stew and chunks of warm bread in their hands as they admired their handiwork. Gus had meant to excuse himself, Emori was sure, but the man had been worn out by the three of them who had too much fun putting out each decoration and asking for explanations and the history on each one. 

For just a few hours, the atmosphere in their home had gone from cold and quiet to one of warmth and laughter. Emori had wanted to hold onto it, pestering Master Gus about each ornament and then giggling as John made up absurd tales for the ones that had no history to speak of, especially if he thought they were pretty. 

Now the older man was sound asleep, stretched out on one of their wide old couches that he favoured. There was a light frown on his face and his breathing was heavier than she would have liked. Emori picked up a blanket and tucked it over him as he was the furthest from the others and the fire. Brushing a hand over his silvering hair, she saw his breathing lighten and his frown smooth. A smile flickered at the corner of his mouth and he looked more comfortable. She pulled her hand away and within minutes the frown was back and his breathing grew more ragged. 

“John….” She whispered and waved her hand. Emori gestured at their Master and John just looked confused. She wanted to test a theory. Taking John’s hand in her own, she placed it on their Master’s arm. Once again, the older man’s breathing grew soft and even and his expression warmed to something soft. John yanked his hand back and took two steps away, his gaze fixed on Master Gus as he walked. He gathered the dishes and fled the room, although Raven had to wrestle her bowl back since she wasn’t done yet. 

Emori followed him, finding him in the kitchen, hands pressed to the counter as he seemed to be telling himself it was fine, it was all fine. “John? What’s wrong?” He looked over at her, tears sparkling in his eyes. He was silent for a long minute and then he straightened, reaching into the shelf to pull out a slender book, hidden among the cookbooks. 

_The Impact of Bond Severance_ read the weathered title. Emori was confused as John flipped through the pages to find a passage he had marked. She would recognize the scrawl that he called his handwriting anywhere. The passage was vivid, detailing a rather gruesome and troubling list of symptoms. 

“Heart failure?” she whispered as she got to the end of the passage. Her gaze flicked up to John who had been watching her read. John nodded, “I think there are medications that’ll make sure he doesn’t die.” He pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth, considering something, and then continued, “But … if he sleeps better with us touching him, that means every night he suffers without us. That’s pretty intense. It says in that book that at his age with a connection like that, he’ll never have another one. It was us. We are his only ones, the only family he will have, and we’re leaving him. I know we didn’t ask for this but fuck … I hate that we are going to leave him like this.” 

Emori set the book down on the counter and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, holding him close, “Me too but you and me, we’re still okay, aren’t we? I mean, we are staying together. That’s what … that’s what we are going to do.” She whispered. 

“Wherever you go, I go ‘Mori. I love you. I just … it isn’t just us anymore. There is Raven and I …” John hesitated and she knew what he was going to say. Leaning in, she pressed a soft kiss to his lips and whispered, “I know, I know … I love her too. So much.” 

John let out a ragged breath and then laughed, “Oh thank god, I thought it was just me and I didn’t know … how to say … to you, how to explain that I … you and her and ... .” He laughed again and Emori couldn’t resist this ridiculous man, tipping her head up and claiming his mouth in another kiss. The kisses became more heated, until her back was against the counter and John was pressing against her in a way that indicated he was very interested in continuing this in a far less clothed manner. 

Raven waddled into the room with an empty bowl in hand and came to a stop. John broke off the kiss and grinned over at her. Emori tucked her head into his shoulder and stretched out one arm toward Raven. The pregnant woman set down her bowl and tucked herself against the other two. 

“What’s going on?” she asked quietly. 

“Nothing much.” John replied with a light shrug. “We just both finally admitted to each other that we’ve been in love with you, probably since we were all on the Ring, and we still love you to pieces and want to keep you forever. So you know, that, but also that you are really adorable when you waddle.” 

“I don’t waddle!” she protested and then she seemed to realize what John had just said. “What?” 

Emori cupped Raven’s cheek with one hand and gave her a gentle kiss on her full lips. “We’re so in love with you. Are you okay with that?” Raven just nodded and gestured haphazardly toward her bowl, “I just came in for more stew.” she said and then laughed, “I like this too though. I love you both. Even if you’re an asshole, Murphy, and Emori is way too good for you.” 

John just shrugged and then laughed, “Women who are too good for me appears to be my type. I’m just the pretty face around here.” Then he laughed harder as both women looked at him in astonishment at his quip and then burst into laughter as well. 

Emori shook her head and leaned in to kiss John’s cheek, a chaste peck compared to what they had just been doing, “Get our Raven more stew. She is due for another relief and I’ll take care of her this time.” John’s nod of acknowledgement felt like the forgiveness she needed. Neither of them were the type to dwell but she had a feeling the grief of losing out on children together was not a topic that would simply disappear. Of course, if there was Raven too, there was a prospect of more children with her. Emori’s gaze fell on the small book and she felt a pang of guilt. 

By the time they made their way back into the living room, Master Gus had woken and left. She instantly felt bereft by his disappearance and hated that her actions had contributed to it. How do you ask someone to forgive you for not wanting to have their baby? All she had wanted was to have some choices on her own terms and instead she had forced herself into the only option left to her - leaving. 

Emori wasn’t sure that was the option she would have chosen in the end. 

**_Raven_**

Raven had shown herself into the little clinic, the staff already gone for the day. She knew Gus was in here. He was hiding from them and she was sick of it. Sick of all of it, if she were honest. She stripped out of her clothing, pulled on the little gown he usually had her wear and seated herself on the examination table, nearly toppling over as she did so. The change to her centre of gravity had been hell given how hard she had worked to establish her previous one. She swung her small, socked feet as she waited for him to appear. It wasn’t long before he walked by and then stopped.

“Raven?” he questioned, hurrying toward her. He stopped just short of touching her. “Is something wrong? Are you experiencing pain?” Master Gus asked. It was the only time he looked at her anymore, the only time he touched her, and so childishly she had been coming weekly for check-ups, although he never found anything wrong and had told her that she didn’t need to come quite so often. This time it had only been a couple of days so she was off even her own invented schedule. 

The decorating had been over a week ago now and it had been such a fun day with an unexpected ending. She had no idea that Murphy and Emori had returned her feelings. They ended up talking late into the evening, until exhaustion finally had the two of them tucking her into bed. The main living room was now her favourite part of the house and she would sometimes bring the tablet she was using for programming to the room and worked there in front of the cheery fire and watching the twinkly lights on the tree. She could imagine her little one spending time here, probably just starting to crawl, the next time this room was so cheerfully decorated. 

Of course, she wouldn’t be there to see that, but this man would. “I … I needed to talk to you.” she explained quietly. “I …” she started but he was already stepping away, giving her space, the space he thought she wanted, and in her new emotional state this just made her want to cry. 

Master Gus settled into his stool, more than an arm’s reach away and observed her carefully as he nodded, “Of course, Raven. Whatever you need to tell me is fine. This is a safe place. I promise.” His voice had that low reassuring quality that probably made him an effective physician. Damn him. 

“You said, that, um, when you told us what happened with the pills and the drugs and the things Jackson made. You said I …. “ Raven’s eyes sparkled with tears and she drew in a breath before letting it out slowly, “You said I tried to … that I took … and then last week you said that you were marking down everything that I had taken and was making sure everything was alright and the development wasn’t …” she lost her words then and pressed her hands into her face. 

The physician shifted back to his feet and approached carefully but as he got closer, she pressed her cheek into his chest and wrapped both arms around him. “I thought about it. I … I think the baby must have known I was thinking and I might have … but then I started cramping and I thought … I thought it happened because the baby knew I didn’t want them but I did and then …” 

“Raven.” the Master interrupted gently, “Are you saying that you didn’t take any of the medication or that you did and then got it back out before you could ingest it fully?” 

“I didn’t take any but … I … is there an impact on a baby if their mother thinks about not having them? Does that make me a terrible mom?” She asked quietly, almost missing Gus’ relief until his arms tightened around her and his hand cupped the back of her head. 

“No, pretty girl,” Gus murmured as Raven realized that was the first time he had said that since that horrible night when everything had been laid out. Tears traced a hot path down her cheeks. “Pregnancy is very hard on a person. Most do think occasionally that they might not want to continue. The cramping did not start because you willed it. I suspect based on what you’ve told me it was emotional pressure and stress. You were and remain under a terrible burden. I am not sorry about this baby, at all, and I am very much looking forward to meeting them in just a few months but, I am sorry for the stress this has put you under. If I had known the bonding failed, I would never have … I wouldn’t have done many things in fact. I’m so sorry.” 

Raven felt him start to shift as if he were about to move away and she tightened her hold on him. “I know it isn’t fair to ask this of you … but I don’t like you staying away from me. I need to know the baby is going to be okay. I need to know you’ll be okay.” 

Gus pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Oh how she had missed that sensation. No one else did it like he did it. She nuzzled into his shoulder and held him close as the older man replied, “When the time comes I will take the medications. It’ll be hard for a few weeks but I am strong and I will recover. The baby will have everything I can provide.” 

“This will be their home. Their island.” Raven whispered. 

“Every rock and pebble. Every stray cat. All of it will be theirs.” He reassured her quietly. The thought was a good one. This child would never go hungry or be afraid that the air would run out or a thousand things that nearly went wrong on the Ark and then on the ground every day. She couldn’t even fathom growing up so safe. She stayed in his arms, just enjoying the warmth. 

“Can I sleep with you sometimes?” she finally asked after letting several minutes of silence pass. 

“My door is always open. You know where I am. I won’t impose myself on you but if you come to me, I will never turn you away.” he pledged and she heard the little catch in his voice and it broke her heart just a little. 

“Emori and Murphy love me.” Raven explained and felt Gus nod knowingly as his hand smoothed up and down her back. Apparently this information was not news to him as it had been to her. She was the oblivious one in this family and the irony was not lost on her. As she was wearing the little examination gown that covered just enough to be almost modest, he was stroking her warm skin as she continued her explanation, “I love them too but sometimes they need time to themselves.” 

“Oh.” Master Gus chuckled as if he suddenly understood something she wasn’t sure she meant to say. 

“I didn’t mean…” her gaze flew up and he tipped his head forward to kiss her forehead and then stepped away from her. Damnit. She cursed herself for spoiling a nice moment. 

“It’s fine, Raven. Of course it is. I’ll make that change to your records. Thank you for coming to tell me. I appreciate it.” Master Gus stated. It was dismissive and she felt it to her core. Fuck. Why did she keep messing this up? Silence reigned for several seconds before he offered, “Do you want me to walk you back to the house?” 

Raven nodded as she went to slip down from the examination table but her foot missed the edge of the step-stool. Pitching forward, she flailed but with her weight all in the front now, she couldn’t catch herself and she was heading to the ground before Gus caught her and swept her up and into his arms. Taking advantage of the moment and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on tightly. “Are you alright?” he asked quickly and she nodded slowly. His lips quirked, “You want me to carry you back up to the house, don’t you?” She nodded again, smiling this time. He feigned a sigh but she could tell he was pretending. She felt that gentle kiss on the top of her head and she grinned, wiggling her feet as he picked up his winter jacket, covering her up. He pulled on his boots, without managing to put her down and then headed back up to the house. 

Murphy came running when he saw her being carried. “Is she okay? Raven?” 

Raven poked her head up out of Gus’ jacket and grinned, “I tripped.” She saw the look in Murphy’s eyes and grinned wider as he shook his head. “Well you may as well put her down at the table. Dinner is almost ready. I’ll set a place for you.” 

As she settled into her chair, she realized she was just wearing the examination gown. She blushed until Murphy shrugged out of his button-down and gave it to her to put on. As she looked up to say thank you, Murphy leaned in and whispered. “Good job. Can you trip on him a few nights a week so he comes to eat with us?” Raven giggled, unable to contain herself as she reached for the bread bowl. 

The dinner was nice but after the meal was over, Gus excused himself and Emori and Murphy headed into the living room and curled up together on one broad couch. Raven felt too restless to settle so she excused herself and made her way down the hall to the Master’s bedroom. She pushed open the door without knocking; after all, he said he would never turn her away. Raven’s jaw dropped at what she saw. Master Gus was nude, sprawled out on his bed. Oh dear god but she had completely forgotten in these last few months of indecision and turmoil the strength and appeal of her Master’s body. His hand was wrapped around his cock and his head was back on the pillow. He was stroking himself and oh damn was his cock a sight. If her mind had forgotten, her body had not. She felt that coil of heat as her eyes flew wide and she stepped through the door, letting it fall closed behind her. Stripping out of Murphy’s shirt and the examination gown, Raven approached the bed. 

She touched his arm, stilling his hand with that single motion. Master Gus sat up quickly but she reached forward and touched his shoulder. “What …” he protested softly but she couldn’t delay pursuing her desire. She bent forward to kiss him. “Oh …” the man slipped his hand into her silky hair and held her in place. It was a little awkward but she managed to get up onto his lap, her round belly pressing against his abdomen. She was still always wet, always needy and being pregnant had not made it less so. 

“Are you sure?” he whispered between slow kisses. Raven ground against him, making him groan, eyes fluttering. Such delicious power. “Yes. Please, Master. I need you.” 

Gus rolled her to the side and rose up, towering over her. She felt so big lately but his body was massive and strong and she felt petite, beautiful and perfect in his eyes. He carefully stripped off her brace and set it to the side. He ran his hands over her, unabashedly worshipping every part of her, placing soft kisses on every curve, dancing soft licks along her inner thigh, tasting the heat of her core before drifting upward. Turning her to the side, Gus lay behind her. His hands stroked her silky skin until one broad hand settled between her thighs, toying with her. She could feel his cock brushing against her sex and it was all she wanted. “Please.” she whispered and pressed her hips back as she much could. 

He rolled his hips forward and she felt him filling her slowly. Raven moaned and squirmed against him. Master Gus teased her clit with slow circles of his thick fingers as his lips traced a fevered path along her shoulder and up the smooth column of her throat. He sucked the lobe of her ear between his lips and nibbled at her skin. He tugged lightly before releasing the delicate flesh. He had spent months enjoying himself with her after she arrived and she had forgotten how well he knew what she liked. It was evident that he remembered with great clarity. Moaning, her hands tried to find purchase on his warm skin, trying desperately to ground herself. 

“Holy shit!” 

Raven’s eyes flew open. Standing in the doorway was Murphy and Emori watching as their Master slowly fucked her. She shouldn’t be this turned on by it, should she? Raven stretched a hand toward them and then Gus gave her clit a pinch and she came, grinding against his hand, her cheeks flushed, and her body writhing. Her eyes closed and she lay there panting quietly. She could still feel Gus’ cock in her as he slowly fucked into her, making soft whimpers fall from her lips. 

Feeling a gentle touch to her cheek, Raven’s eyes fluttered open to see Murphy, now nude and glorious. God, she hated herself for how much she loved the thick length of him, always a little hard but now needy. He was so beautiful to her. Her hands reached for him as he settled in front of her, kisses drifting along her cheek and down her jaw and then as she turned her head, she saw him kiss their Master and she touched the nape of Murphy’s neck to keep him in place. She wanted to see those kisses, with Murphy, with Emori. All these things which had been routine for a time and then abandoned in the wake of stark revelations.

Emori’s hands traced along Master Gus’ back and the man shifted away from Raven but it was impossible to object. The bed here was smaller than the one upstairs so their bodies kept slipping off the edge. 

The men looked at each other and she swore she saw a wicked grin pass between them. Some unspoken male thing, Raven thought but she felt empty and wanted only for them to fill her again. Before she had a chance to protest, not that she would, Raven found herself on her back, face to face with Emori as the other woman was sprawled out as well, each of them with their backs to the mattress but such that the men could each claim a side of the bed and fuck one of them. It was absurd and yet as Murphy filled her pussy, Raven’s hands fluttered and reached for Emori. 

The women kissed, a heated tangle of lips and tongue as the men fucked them into the bed. Emori came first, a cry echoing through the room but Raven wasn’t far behind. Gus’ extraordinary stamina failed him as he filled the elegant Emori with thick cum for the first time in months. Murphy finally came after Gus did, a shuddering diorama of pleasure. They collapsed together, a tangle of limbs and soft kisses. Gus wouldn’t stop touching them, as if it were all a dream about to end. When his fingertips brushed over her lips she nipped at them, making him laugh, before he kissed her again. 

Each of them took a turn in the washroom and Murphy helped Raven as her balance remained off and she simply couldn’t be bothered to put the brace back on. It was far too small a bed for four adults, especially when one of them was built like Gus. Still, if Emori splayed herself on top of him and Raven tucked up on one side while Murphy spooned her from behind, it was almost tolerable if no one got too restless. No one wanted to leave, Raven was sure that like her each of the others was too fearful that this particular moment would never be recaptured. They were holding on with all the strength of their considerable collective will to the sanctity of this moment. 

For the first time since their trip back to Sanctum, Raven slept through the night, untroubled by nightmares or plagued by guilt. She just let herself sleep, feeling safe for the first time in far too long. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this chapter. just a smidge of angst, a droplet of fluff and smut seemed good to me. Thank you to DialedIn once again for her editing skills and encouragement.


	14. a little holiday magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some of our survivors enjoy their first and perhaps only holidays with their Sanctum families.

**_“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough”_ **

**_Bellamy_ **

Bellamy stepped out of the shower and began to towel off his dark curls. Echo sat on the edge of the bathroom counter with her hair half pinned up and styled in curls that tumbled to her mid-back. She was watching him with evident appreciation and as tempting as that wicked smile might be, he knew they were expected downstairs.

“You are being terrible. She’s waiting for us.” Bellamy reminded her. Echo nodded as she replied, “I know. I just like looking at you.” He shook his head but he couldn’t resist leaning in to kiss her and then he ducked his head to pull one perk nipple between his lips and sucked on it quickly. Echo let out a gasp followed by a groan. 

“Now you’re the bad one.” she whispered as he released her and stepped back again. 

“Go get dressed.” Bellamy instructed her and she slipped down from the counter but didn’t move. “Echo?” 

Her gaze flicked to him and then away again, “I’ve never done a holiday like this before.” She swallowed hard and continued to hesitate. “It feels strange. I … I am not sure what I am supposed to do.” 

“To be honest, I’ve never had a holiday quite like this before either. We didn’t have much in the way of decorations or much in the way of gifts.” Bellamy agreed with a gentle kiss to Echo’s shoulder, “But we have each other. We have our Anya.” 

“I know. It seems greedy to want more but I have to admit I saw my name on a few of the parcels and I … I like the idea of it. Having presents to unwrap.” she confessed and then grinned. 

“Go put on that dress. I’ll be in shortly.” Bellamy ordered and applied a harsh spank to the curve of her ass. Echo squeaked and left the room quickly, one hand over the bright mark he left there. Bellamy was grinning to himself as he finished his morning ablutions and joined her to get dressed. 

Echo’s short dress showed off her long legs with its flirty hem and silky fabric. Bellamy felt he paired nicely with her in his warm cream-coloured cashmere sweater and dark grey trousers. He folded his hand over hers and together they made their way to the sitting room, where the Yule morning festivities were to be held. 

The tree was surrounded by brightly-coloured wrapped packages with sparkles and ribbons. There were gifts from more people than Bellamy even expected. Anya strode in and to his surprise, she was carrying a tray of incredible looking pastries. “Wow, what are those?” He asked as he leaned in to dust a soft kiss on his Mistress’ cheek. 

“I’m not entirely sure. They are a gift from Gustus’ boy.” Anya set down the tray and picked up a card to show it to them. Bellamy read the distinctive printing that he recognized instantly. 

“Murphy?” He queried quizzically. “Called cinnamon brioche. Merry Yule.” Echo was already nibbling on one as he looked over at her. Given her expression, he suspected it was good and reached for one himself. With hot teas in hand and Murphy’s amazing brioche filling their bellies, they began to unwrap gifts. The diversity of the presents surprised him from clothing, which was expected given how their Mistress liked to dress them, to history books for him and weapons for Echo. Pretty jewels hung around Echo’s throat. Within an hour, Echo’s dress had been stripped off and their Mistress was applying delicate but cruel looking clips to her nipples as she whimpered prettily. Then she wrapped a golden and glittery chain around her waist. She looked beautiful and he was getting more than a little hard watching this playful interaction between the two women. 

Then his Mistress unwrapped a gift from her friend, Lexa, and held it up for him to see. It was a harness with an attachment for a series of dildos in a range of sizes. She held it up for Bellamy to see and Echo looked over at him with wide eyes. 

“For Echo?” he asked quietly and then watched as Anya smiled slowly. “Oh.” he breathed out in a rush. Bellamy’s hand tugged at his trousers, trying to loosen them up where they had gotten extremely tight. She set aside the gift to one side and continued to open the parcels, finishing with the ones they had gotten her. With limited resources, they had to get creative. 

Echo made her a set of bow and arrows, each prettily carved and well-made. Anya was thrilled with them, which probably spoke volumes about his type if he were honest with himself. Then she unwrapped his gift. He had noticed her family history was a jumble of photographs and stories. So he had catalogued them and put the highlights into a large scrapbook. She was delighted. Anya had Echo sit at her feet and toyed with her gently as Bellamy paged through the book and showed off his work. 

“This is extraordinary. Both of you … such wonderful gifts and I confess I had no expectations. Thank you.” their Mistress praised warmly and pressed soft kisses over Echo’s lips and then his. Then Anya reached for the gift from Lexa. 

“Mistress?” he questioned quietly and was met with her warm and wicked smile. “I … I’m…” She cupped his face and tugged him forward into a slow kiss that gradually grew heated. Then she broke it off and sat back, “Strip.” she ordered crisply. He stripped out of his sweater and trousers, folding them into a low chair. He blushed furiously as Anya and Echo both watched with appreciative eyes. Then, Anya brushed a hand over Echo’s hair and murmured, “Do you want him inside you while I fuck him or would you prefer to just watch, my darling girl?” 

Bellamy thought he might cum then and there as Echo looked up at him and murmured, “Oh … in me. Definitely. His cock is so good.” Anya nodded in response, “As you wish my girl, put those gifts to the side, I think it would be delightful right here, don’t you?” 

He let out a soft moan as Echo moved around, looking better than ever with tumbled curls, the evocative chain around her belly and the clips still on her nipples. In his eyes, he could not fathom anyone more beautiful. Then his gaze drifted over to Anya. She had shrugged off her wrap dress and strapped the harness into place. Something about her lean body with that new addition had him nearly panting as he tried to contain himself. His cock hung, thick and hard. Anya circled around the small space Echo had cleared under the glittering lights of the tree and the flickering light from the fire. It wasn’t even lunch hour. How the hell was this his life? 

Anya picked up a rolled pillow from one of her sofas and laid it on the floor. “On your back, Echo.” She instructed firmly and brushed a hand over Echo’s back and directed her into place. Then the older woman looked over at Bellamy and held out a hand toward him. His hand shook just a little as he slipped it into hers. Leaning forward she tipped her head up and claimed his mouth in a soft kiss before folding her hand over his shoulder and nudged him down to his knees. 

He knelt between Echo’s thighs and traced a fingertip along the chain now slid up a little further on her abdomen. She shivered at the touch and whispered, “Tease.” Bellamy grinned as Echo gave a soft laugh. 

Anya was behind him now and he tried not to think about how good it felt to have all her focus on him. To be fair, it was usually on Echo, as was his, but this time, this time … oh shit… he was losing the thread as he felt that cool touch of her slick fingertip against his back entrance. He had been fucked there before, of course he had, even before all the treatments, but this was something else entirely. He pressed her other hand against his upper back and nudged him forward. Bellamy complied, letting his body weight rest on Echo’s slender but strong body. 

Echo cupped his face and dusted kisses along his cheekbone and then captured his mouth. He moaned into it and then gasped as Anya’s slick digit pressed into him, breaching him, just as his cock brushed against Echo’s sex. He broke off the kiss and glanced over his shoulder at his Mistress. 

“Am I allowed to?” he asked, unsure and somehow not wanting to spoil this particular moment for any of them but especially their Mistress in a playful mood. 

“You may enter her but once you are in, no moving until I direct you to do so.” Anya ordered with a husky laugh. Echo moaned under him, recognizing that would not just be torture for Bellamy but torment for her as well. Bellamy leaned over to kiss her as he wrapped his hand around his cock and filled Echo, taking his time, until he felt Anya add a second finger and he moaned and pressed forward, filling Echo with a rough little push. Echo’s legs wrapped around his thighs, pinning him in place and tugging his legs a little further apart so that Anya had access to all she wished. 

The fingers tormented him as much as having to remain still within Echo’s core. Echo’s hands carded through his dark curls as her lips continued to kiss down the line of his throat. It was incredible and he felt overwhelmed and utterly possessed. One delicate hand trailed up and down his back while Anya’s other hand continued to work him open, adding more and more of that slick fluid that had him groaning. Then he felt that shift, the fingers were gone and the head of the phallus was pressed against his hole. Bellamy groaned and pressed his face into Echo’s throat. Echo’s arm’s tightened around him, one hand buried in his hair as the other cupped the nape of his neck. 

Anya pressed forward until she had the whole of that tormenting dildo in him, until he could feel her smooth hips and thighs brush against his ass. He whimpered and groaned, writhing because he couldn’t have held still if he tried. The women had him pinned, Echo from beneath and Anya from behind. He was theirs utterly. 

She rode him slowly, pulling on his hips, tugging him out of Echo’s tight pussy before thrusting forward and causing him to do the same. He was fucked and fucking all at the same time. Anya was panting from her efforts, he supposed, or her pleasure. He wasn’t sure. Echo was moaning, his chest pressed the clips on her nipples in, digging all the harder, adding that slice and spice of pain that Echo liked, as much as she wished she did not at times. 

Finally Bellamy knew he had no more willpower left. He needed to cum so his groans turned to pleading, “Please … please Mistress, I need to, I need it so bad, please, please may I cum?” The words tumbled over one another, a heated rush of words, as that delicious sensation crept along his spine, twisting and twirling, causing him to whimper and beg all the harder. 

“Cum for me, Bellamy.” she ordered, that authoritative voice sending another shiver through him, “Fill up our Echo. Such a darling boy you are.” Bellamy took the instruction and ran with it. Anya stopped moving entirely, holding still and letting Bellamy fuck himself back on the thick dildo before thrusting into Echo. Again and again, he fucked her and then himself all at once. The ride was shallow and he thrust hard into her, bruising Echo’s thighs and hips with the heat and force of it. Then he came, an inarticulate shout as he collapsed onto Echo and let Anya hold his hips and fuck him until she was satisfied. 

Anya pulled out slowly and gave his ass a gentle pat. “Now crawl down and lick our Echo until she is nice and clean. You know you make her a messy girl and now she won’t be able to sit on the furniture the rest of the day.” The Mistress taunted them both as Echo was now desperate for her own relief. 

“We could put panties on her.” Bellamy suggested as he tried to push himself into a position to obey Anya’s instructions. She just laughed at his proposal and whispered, “I suppose I could but why would I ever do that?” Anya stroked his ass as she teased him and Bellamy’s body shivered in the light aftershock of a particularly good orgasm. 

“Now this is my kind of holiday.” Anya stated as he half watched her strip off the harness and set it aside, presumably to be cleaned. Circling around the pair, she knelt above Echo’s face and cupped Bellamy’s cheek. She nudged him down and into place, just above Echo’s dripping pussy. “Eat up, my dear boy. Echo deserves to cum too.” 

Bellamy watched in awe as Echo’s arms wrapped around Anya’s thighs, pulling her down and began to feast on her. He groaned at the incredible picture of the two women together, Anya’s head thrown back in bliss as Echo worked to please her. Bending over Echo, he flicked his tongue over her clit in slow circles before pulling it between his lips to suck on the distended flesh. They had tormented her poor clit during the treatments and Bellamy had to admit it was much easier to get her off now with her body constantly ready. He felt a gentle hand on the back of his head. Echo held him in place as he worked to please her, two fingers sliding in and out of the soaking pussy he had just fucked and filled. He could taste her and himself. He ground his hips against the floor, getting hard again. 

It didn’t take long before Echo was crying out under them, pinned into place just as he had been. Bellamy shifted so that he was stradling Echo and leaned in to kiss Anya. With the flavour of Bellamy and Echo on her lips and Echo’s sweet mouth on her pussy, the Mistress’s orgasm was a heady creature - overwhelming her as she writhed against him. Bellamy pulled her in close, settling her so that the older woman was tucked against Echo. Satisfied completely, Bellamy stretched out beside the two women and tried to catch his breath. After several minutes, he finally broke the silence, “Do we have more of those brioche?” 

Echo laughed merrily and then moaned as Anya took the opportunity to remove the clips. She gave a soft shudder and then pressed her face into their Mistress’ shoulder. “Good girl.” she whispered to Echo and then her gaze flashed up at Bellamy. “Good boy Bellamy. I love you both. You’re terrible and wonderful and I’d never wish to have anyone else. And yes, there is more brioche.” At that, Bellamy flashed a grin and leaned in to kiss both women. 

“Happy Yule, Mistress.” he murmured as his lips dusted over hers again. 

“Happy Yule, my loves.” 

**_Murphy_**

Murphy pulled off the ribbon and had to admit he was perplexed by the ungainly box. It looked like it was intended to be shipped. Tugging it open, he glanced over at Master Gus to note that he was watching him keenly. Okay then, he thought, this must be the big gift. So far he had gotten clothing and a stack of books, but this seemed to be important. He tugged off the lid and then stared in confusion at its contents. Lifting up the sheaf of papers he flipped through it.

“Wait? Are these instructions to build my own still? And …. Recipes?” Murphy glanced up and then back down again. 

“Well no matter where you settled, I wanted you to be able to have something good from here. So, beer or ale or whatever else you want to make. The entire thing would have been too large but those are the key parts you’ll need and instructions on how to make the rest.” Gustus explained cheerfully. Murphy had to swallow past the lump in his throat at the stark realization that his Master had acquired all of this on the expectation that he was leaving sooner than later. He shuffled across the floor to wrap his arms around the broad man because the alternative wasn’t available and he couldn’t think of a single snarky statement for once. 

“You’re welcome.” Master Gus murmured before gently running a hand down his back. It still wasn’t like it used to be. Their Master hesitated to touch them unless they did it first and frequently excused himself from the rooms they were in. They had not allowed him to sleep alone. The obstinate older man would still not return to the large bedroom so they worked out a rotation between them. 

The gift giving was a strange event in many ways as the baby gifts were mostly for him and not for Raven. For each other there were numerous books and other things, many of them how-to manuals that Gustus obviously felt they might find handy living on another world that had far less resources than his own. There are also fabrics, blankets, and sewing materials. Simple technology books for Raven about things like finding water and wells. It was all really fucking useful. 

Was it wrong that he kind of hated it? 

His favourites so far were the extraordinary copper bottomed pans and cooking utensils, because he knew he would get to use them now and later. Each of them was also given a small pendant in the hopes of fond memories, as he put it. For fuck’s sake. If you pressed the star at the centre, you’d get an image of the island and the three of them together - no Master. It was extremely thoughtful. 

He hated it completely. 

Master Gustus unwrapped a soft fuzzy toy cat, apparently from his friend, Anya, who also sent along baby’s first sword - which was weird and creepy. Also an Anya thing apparently. Bellamy certainly had a fucking type, Murphy noted to himself as he flipped through the brewing station manual. It was incredibly cool. Was there even space for it on the ship? Probably. They’d probably take it and melt it down for scrap but he could try to preserve most of it. 

Murphy rose to his feet and dusted a kiss on Emori’s cheek before heading to the kitchen to check on the food. He pulled the tray of brioche from the oven and set it down to cool before adjusting the temperature for the main course to begin slow roasting. He was lost in these thoughts when he heard someone approaching. “Raven, it's too soon. You need to wait until they’ve …” He stopped as he looked over and found it was not their perpetually hungry girl and instead his Master. 

“Sir….” He started in surprise before flushing lightly, “Can I get you something?” 

“I’m sorry you don’t like it.” Master Gus stated quietly. 

“No I do. It’s great and I ….” he began and fell silent when the older man held up his hand. 

“No, you don’t. I thought you would. I’m sorry I got it wrong.” the Master stated. 

Murphy found himself shrugging as he began transferring the pastries from the baking sheet to the cooling racks. “I don’t like thinking about when we aren’t going to be here anymore.” 

“I thought you’d be excited. Only a few months now.” The Master had crept closer and was standing near him now. Murphy tossed down the spatula and turned, rising up on his toes to land a kiss on Gus’ lips. His hands grabbed at the older man’s shoulders for leverage and the Master was offering no objections. 

The kiss broke and the Master’s hand came up to smooth back dark strands of hair. “I love you. Don’t say anything. I just wanted to say that.” Master Gus whispered before releasing the younger man and heading back to the living room. By the time Murphy followed, Raven was in the older man’s lap, holding one of the stuffed toys to her belly and making him laugh. 

“Are those the pastries?” Raven asked with wide eyes as he gave her the plate and Murphy had to laugh. “You know you can’t blame this all on the baby. I think you might just think with your stomach.” Raven poked out a tongue at him but happily accepted her plate, turning to offer Gustus the first bite. Pregnant Raven got all the privileges to be pushy with him and frankly, Murphy was sometimes envious. He settled down next to Emori, his arm around her shoulders as she held up a very appealing sweater for his inspection. Murphy claimed her lips in a soft kiss that gradually grew a little more heated. 

By the time he broke off the attentions, Raven was tucked into the couch, flipping through a book and a blanket around her and their Master had left the room. “Where did he go?” he asked quietly. Raven shook her head, “Something about a surprise for us.” she explained. 

Murphy was confused and started to gather his things when he heard a shout from the downstairs. “Could you all come here for a minute?” He and Emori helped Raven out of the depths of the wide couch and headed down the stairs. They turned down the hall and away from Raven’s laboratory. There was a large screen and a base and … holy shit. 

There on the screen were their faces. Bellamy. Echo. Octavia. Clarke. Miller and Jackson. Holy shit. Master Gus excused himself and let them all talk. 

Jackson started by saying, “I am so sorry you guys, I hope you can forgive me. I didn’t … I did not do that on purpose. Did anyone take enough?” Emori raised her hand and waved, “Probably me. Master Gus isn’t sure yet if I did extensive damage.” 

Jackson looked genuinely regretful. “Bellamy? Echo?” He asked quietly but both of them shook their heads, which surprised Murphy. Were they trying? Were they staying? He sat up straighter and looked through the rest of them. He knew Clarke was resolute about leaving but that did not surprise him. Miller and Jackson obviously wanted to go. 

“Octavia?” Murphy interrupted. “You’re really quiet. Did you?” Octavia’s gaze flicked to Raven and then she looked away for a moment, “I’m pregnant. I was pregnant at the Harvest Gathering but it was early days. I’m only just passing 12 weeks now. And I’m not sorry. Not at all. Jackson…. Seriously, thank you for giving me options. I appreciate it. It makes this a choice and I love that it is my choice. I choose this.” 

Murphy’s lips turned in a begrudging smile, “Congrats are in order then.” Octavia’s grin brightened and she nodded before whispering, “Bell?” 

He nodded slowly, “Congrats O. I’m happy for you. Peace at last, who would have thought?” Octavia grinned, looking so young again that Murphy registered it in surprise. “Well to be fair, have you seen her man? I nearly got pregnant looking at him.” 

“Shut up Murphy.” said several voices. 

**_Octavia_**

Everyone laughed at the sharp retort to Murphy and Octavia no less than the rest of them. She appreciated that Murphy was just trying to distract from a potentially painful discussion and make everyone laugh. To be fair, her Master was one hell of a man, beautiful in every way in her eyes.

Nothing surprised her more than when he came to her to ask about the medications provided by Jackson. She had tried to prevaricate, fearful of getting the doctor and Miller in trouble. However, it was clear very quickly that he knew everything and asked only for her honesty. So she confessed that she had disposed of them on the journey home, leaving them smashed under a rock. His understanding hurt because it was so kind and forgiving, even of Jackson. 

Then Lincoln had shocked her with the news that their respective emotional attachments were not mirrored as they were supposed to be. According to Lincoln, the _treatments_ were intended to forge a bond between them. It failed on their side but not on his. When and if they left, they would leave devastation in their wake. Even Lincoln agreed there was some justice in this, even if it were cruel. 

“Will you allow me to court you?” had been his next question. Hadn’t that been what he was doing, she had thought, but no, it turns out that was not the case. This was just his life and the partnership he thought he would have with her. So all these trips into the community, her freedoms, the picnics and other meals, the lessons in training the horses, and the hours of insane sex - that was just life. Not a courtship at all. Now he wanted the chance to court her and perhaps earn her desire to remain with him. 

Holy shit! She wasn’t sure her body could survive a courtship because, to be frank, if the sex became hotter, she might spontaneously combust. Octavia hadn’t been sure what to say to his question so she merely wrapped her arms around the beautiful man and kissed him. She had thought this would land them back in bed where all this courtship talk would fade away. However, Lincoln was determined to do things right. If he couldn’t have a jumpstart on their connection through the _treatments_ then he was going hard and very serious. It was its own kind of madness. 

For weeks, he brought her flowers, an entire garden’s worth. Every day was another present. However, that was the warm up. He lavished attention on her, asked a thousand questions and listened intently. Octavia found herself telling him everything from her time as the ‘girl under the floor’ to her time as Blodreina and the horrors she had committed in that role, even during the Dark Year. 

His compassion and acceptance helped her start to really forgive herself. He continually reminded her that she was only 17 when she went into that bunker with over 1000 people relying on her to hold the peace among people who knew their families and world was dying above them as well as had long-standing animosities between their communities. Everyone deserved compassion and forgiveness for that level of trauma, including her. She still struggled, every day, but as her body changed to facilitate the growing person in her, it grew a little easier to remind herself that there were many good things in the universe, including this baby. 

There was barely a curve, even now at 12 weeks, but the physician had assured her repeatedly that she was doing well and there was every indication of continued and healthy growth. Pregnancy was rare enough in this world that she could tell Lincoln struggled with not trying to wrap her up and hide her away to keep her and the baby safe. 

That wasn’t who she was, however, and to her amazement, he respected that she was not going to remain in a bubble. So she continued to work with the horses, ride and when the snow fell, he taught her snowshoeing so they could continue to trudge around the estate. Life with Lincoln meant work but it was also fun. Everyone treated her well, seeming to believe that if Lincoln was happy with his little Earther female then they had no cause for complaint. 

The baby news had slipped only a week ago and already his people, or their people now, were pressing treats into her hand or giving her darling baby gifts. The head of the stables advised about the sweetest pony that he was training and would be in great shape by the time the little one was old enough to learn to ride. The level of welcome put tears in her eyes. 

As the video call wrapped, she watched as each screen grew dark, hoping that Bellamy would stay on for a minute or two longer so they could speak but as his screen flicked off, she let out a soft huff of disappointment. One day, she prayed, one day he would find a way to forgive her. When that day came, maybe she would be able to finally forgive herself. She trudged out of the room and up the path to their house. 

Lincoln was stretched out in his chair and she couldn’t resist climbing onto his lap. “Hello there, you. Was it a good call?” the man asked as he set down his book and tugged her in all the closer. She nodded and nudged a kiss against the smooth column of his throat. The scent, his natural scent, that rose off his skin was intoxicating. She had a hard time believing that the _treatments_ had failed so spectacularly that this was simply her natural reaction to the man. So unfair that she only had to breathe him in and she would already feel an aching heat between her thighs. 

“Bellamy?” He asked quietly and she let out a soft sigh, “Not yet. One day I hope. Apparently Anya sent a sword and soft toy for Raven’s baby so maybe we’ll get one of those too.” 

Lincoln nodded agreeably, “Anya usually sends weapons. Sort of her go-to gift. If it can kill you or something else, Anya probably will send it. It helps that most of the metal required for such weapons is mined on her lands.” His hand carded through her dark hair, twisting a silky strand around his finger before releasing it. 

“Lincoln.” she whispered against his skin. 

“Yes, Octavia?” he queried in a gentle response, his head turning to look down at her. Brown eyes clashed with her bright blue ones and she smiled in response to the warmth and genuine affection she saw reflected in that gaze. 

“I love you.” she confessed quietly. Lincoln sat bolt upright and placed his hands on her shoulders, pushing her back so he could bend forward and peer into her eyes as though he could see through to her soul. 

“Please do not tease me, my little queen. Are you serious?” he asked with such intensity that she could nearly feel it on her skin. She nodded and wrapped her arms around him, pulling herself in so tightly that the only way he could shift her away now would be to hurt her with the effort, which Lincoln would never do. 

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” She whispered repeatedly as his arms pulled her into him so tightly she could scarcely breathe. 

“I love you too Octavia. Not the idea of you but the whole of you from lonely girl to fierce warrior to the beautiful queen I have before me growing with our child. You are the one I have waited for all of my life.” he pledged. 

“I know. I can hardly believe it but at the same time, I know. This was meant to be. I feel that with all my heart. This was where I was meant to be. Everything in my life has been the path leading me to this moment, with you.” Octavia replied sincerely. 


	15. gift from the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven becomes a mama.

**_“ … there is no preparation for the sight of a first child ... There should be a song for women to sing at this moment, or a prayer to recite. But perhaps there is none because there are no words strong enough to name the moment.”_ **

**_Raven_ **

Winter melted into the bright cheer of spring. The flowers started to bloom and Raven felt near to bursting. She could barely sleep and her back and hip ached constantly. The kicks and thumps inside her belly were fascinating and bizarre. It certainly was different. She had never been particularly intrigued by the idea of having a baby but now that she was, to her surprise, she quite enjoyed the experience. At least, she enjoyed it most days. Today was not one of those days. Her back had been spasming in waves that ran down her hip and made her leg ache as well.

Raven settled at her desk chair again, one hand rubbing her lower back as she did so. She thought about asking Murphy to come and give her a massage but the idea of even walking up the stairs from her lab made her want to cry. So she opted, instead, to try to focus on work. The program she was attempting to script was designed to breach the ionosphere and communicate with the Eligius IV. If it worked, she would be able to ask the large vessel to land nearby, load up everyone who wanted to leave and she would get to stay here, with her family. 

Unfortunately, her little plan, one she had shared with no one, was not successful. She had rebuilt the array nearly fifty times. Gustus let her access whatever she wished, even exchanging messages with scientists from this planet, who despite over 2,000 years of advancement couldn’t even manage to make cellular telephones work. Everything was hardlined due to the radiation from the nearby black hole, the other moons and the planet. The unique ionosphere had caused them nothing but problems. They were impressed with the advancements she had made but advised her that it could take her the rest of her life to solve the communication with the ship issue. 

The look of optimism that briefly crossed Gustus’ face when he overheard that crushed her heart. She knew he wanted her to stay. However, she couldn’t leave the others without access to their families and friends aboard the Eligius IV. She couldn’t doom them to this life when she could spare them. Unfortunately the cost was so high that she wasn’t sure she could live with it. As if sensing her thoughts, the baby thumped within her and she ran her hands over the bump soothingly. Raven began explaining the idea that had come to her the day before, chatting to the baby, as her fingers entered the information in swift, sure keystrokes. 

Then she ran the simulation. She watched it as the message began to compile and felt a rush of hope. Before she could even let herself think an optimistic thought, it began to fail. The simulation relayed the same information it always did. No matter what she tried, it always failed. This realization was accompanied by a particularly strong wave of pain in her lower back. 

Raven screamed, in pure anger and pain. Shelifted the keyboard, and smashed it onto the desktop as she pushed back on the desk, to roll away from it. She heard the footsteps upstairs and the door opening. Murphy’s voice came in a shout from the top of the stairs, “Raven? You okay? Raven?” 

She seethed as the wave of pain crashed over her again. Her delay in answering had Murphy coming down the steps in a rush, as if he were taking them two at a time. “I’m fine…” she muttered but it wasn’t loud enough for the man to hear. 

He pushed open the door to her lab and looked relieved to see her sitting there, pissed but unhurt. “Raven? Are you feeling alright? Do you want me to get Gustus?” he offered quietly. Raven shook her head and reached for his hand to pull her out of her seat. 

“I’m f….. Ooohhhh.” it was more of a gargled scream than anything resembling speech. “Oh …” There was a distinct and uncomfortable wet sensation and another pain ripped through her lower back, this time wrapping around her abdomen. This didn’t feel like the test pains she had before. Braxton Hicks they called them and they were pure crap - keeping her up since they loved to strike her down whenever she was trying to sleep. 

Her wide-eyed gaze flew up to meet Murphy’s. “I …” It was a squeak. “Baby.” 

“It’s coming?” Murphy questioned, seeming to guess why she was trying to hold his hand like her goal was to crush the bones. 

“I .. I think so …” She managed to get out before gasping again. Oh shit, she had remembered reading about waves of back pain could also be labour. Shit!!! She had been in labour for hours then since she had been feeling them steadily increase for most of the day and it was nearly dinner hour. Oh damn … dinner. 

Murphy slipped his arm around her and guided her up the stairs slowly. Raven practically crawled up the last few, panting as she did so. Another pain and it was unreal. Jeez, how long had people been making babies and they couldn’t come up with a better method than this means of delivery? It was awful. What a shit system. These were abstract thoughts as she felt rather than heard Emori’s approach. Between her and Murphy, they managed to get her semi-upright and walking again. It felt better to move now, breathing in soft pants as she did so. 

It was strange what made her feel better. She paced back and forth in the hall as they escorted her into the birthing suite. Emori stripped her out of her comfortable button-down (which was actually Gustus’) and sweats (which were actually Murphy’s) and into a loose sort of birthing gown. She had thought it was so pretty when she had received it but now she could have cared less about it. All of her focus was on the little monster trying to make it way into the world by apparently ripping her in half in the effort. 

Her hand reached for Murphy’s just as she heard a tap on the door. It was Gustus. It was about to begin in earnest and Raven felt a strange shiver of fear. For most the birth was the beginning but for her, it only heralded the end. Her experiments in communication had failed and she had run out of time. Once the baby arrived, the clock started to tick down to the inevitable end. 

“Come in.” Raven whispered through a suddenly tear-clogged throat. Emori helped her into position so that Gustus could confirm that she was already five centimetres dilated and the baby was apparently ready to make its appearance sooner rather than later. 

Murphy’s hand tightened on hers and she met his bright gaze and whispered, “Don’t leave me, okay?” 

**_Murphy_**

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise Raven. We are here for you.” Murphy assured her quietly. Emori brushed back strands of silky hair from Raven’s cheeks and helped tie her hair up and out of the way. A soft kiss was deposited on Raven’s lips. “We love you Raven.” Emori assured her.

Tears filled Raven’s eyes and Murphy was getting worried. “Does it hurt that much?” 

“Oh my god, worst pain in the world. I can’t believe people want to do this multiple times!” Raven exclaimed loudly. Her hand squeezed his as another wave of pain ripped through her. 

Murphy had never experienced anything like it. Raven was amazing and loud and semi-pissed off that the baby didn’t really let her know what was going on. However, once Raven had figured it out, the labour seemed to slow right down. Hours passed with minimal progress. 

In a strange way, Murphy wasn’t sorry because it was kind of amazing. All of them were there, with her, as Raven did this unbelievable thing and brought the baby into the world. She was incredible. Emori, still grieving her own fertility damage, was unwavering and kind, her whole focus on Raven throughout it all. In quiet moments, they talked and snuggled and he rubbed her aching back. 

The actual birth was wild. It was well after midnight when suddenly Raven absolutely did not want to be on her back anymore.. She insisted on getting up onto her knees. However, with her brace off, he had to hold her knee in place while Emori stayed up close, half bracing Raven’s upper body against her, while Gustus guided the infant into the world. The cry was the best sound in the entire world. He had never felt like crying, laughing, dancing and hugging all at once more in his life. Tears traced his cheeks and he didn’t even care. 

His hand pressed to the newborn’s back as Gustus laid her on Raven’s chest for that skin to skin contact that was supposed to do a bunch of good things. He remembered reading about it but the words escaped him at the moment. Her! Raven had a daughter. She was perfect. Absolutely perfect. 

“Oh Raven!” He heard Emori cry out and he watched the three of them together - Emori, Raven and the baby. They were exquisite - these women that he loved. 

Gustus was focused on all the post-birth stuff that was messy and kinda gross but incredible all at once. He wondered if there was anything amazing in this life that wasn’t also messy. What a perfect fucking metaphor for his life, he noted ironically. The clean-up took time but honestly he didn’t really notice, not until the sky started to brighten and he knew the new day had arrived. 

He sat on the edge of the birthing bed while Emori swaddled the baby that had been briefly taken away for post birth testing and drops and whatnot. The little one had been promptly returned and now Emori was getting her moment in with their new arrival. Raven and Murphy watched indulgently as Emori crooned soft words in Trig at the newborn. 

Emori gingerly carried over the girl and placed her back in Raven’s arms as if delivering the most precious thing in all the universe. He supposed she was. Raven’s hands greedily accepted her, content to hold her precious daughter again. Gustus smiled down at them, standing at the foot of the bed, some distance from all of them. It wasn’t far but it was felt. 

Murphy had a feeling he was doing it on purpose, he wanted Raven to bond with the baby and choose to stay, if not for him then for her. Surely they weren’t going now, right? He swallowed the lump in the throat that formed at this thought and forced himself to consider something else. 

“What is her name?” he asked quietly, breaking the magic of the quiet. 

Raven’s gaze flicked to Gustus, “Master?” she asked quietly. 

“You should name her Raven. A gift from her mother she can carry all her days. I have no doubt you will pick something perfect for her.” Gustus assured her. 

Raven looked down at the baby. “When I was a child, I used to look every night for my favourite constellation and say my little prayers to her. I loved everything about it. It’s position, how it glowed, her story of beauty and strength. I want that for her. So … Cassiopeia. I want to call her Cassiopeia.” 

“Well that’s a damn mouthful. I’m calling her Peia. No lame Cassie for our girl. She needs something more unique. Peia.” Murphy chimed in and everyone laughed but he didn’t care. He traced a fingertip over the tufts of soft dark hair. Her eyes were a bright blue and although no tests had yet been run, he was sure this girl was his daughter. His Peia. Leaning in he pressed a kiss to Raven’s forehead. “You are amazing. Absolutely amazing.” 

“I hurt. Like a lot. But she is … “ Raven seemed lost for words. 

Emori chimed in, “Worth it?” she suggested. 

“Absolutely worth it.” Raven affirmed. “I couldn’t imagine why people did this several times but I get it now.” Then she burst into tears. 

“Oh shit!” Murphy exclaimed as he scooped up his daughter and Emori pulled the new mother into a gentle hug. 

“I’m okay, I’m okay.” Raven protested but couldn’t stop her tears all the same. Murphy glanced over at Gustus worriedly and the older man finally moved a little closer. He slipped his arm around Murphy’s back and murmured, “It’s a lot, making a person and bringing them into the world. Just a lot of body changes and hormones. Don’t worry. She’ll be alright. We will take care of her.” 

Murphy nodded and felt himself fold into the line of the larger man’s body. It felt incredible to be this close to him, the smell and warmth of him. Murphy suddenly realized how exhausted he was and how long it had all taken. 

“Sir?” he whispered against Gustus’ shoulder and felt the man look down at him more than he actually saw the motion. “I know I said I didn’t want to know but .... I know you checked. Is Peia?” 

“Is she yours?” Gustus whispered, seeking confirmation. 

“Yes?” 

“Are you sure you want to know?” the physician asked. Murphy looked up and met Gustus’ dark eyes, full of compassion and love. It broke Murphy a little - to know he was so loved. He didn’t deserve it, which was a fucked up thought about the person who actually bought and owned you. But still, it was there and it was what he felt. 

“Yeah, I want to know.” Murphy stated firmly, unaware that the two girls were listening as well. The room plunged into this surreal perfect quiet. 

“Cassiopeia is your daughter, John.” 

**_Gustus_**

The week after Cassiopeia’s arrival was one of exhaustion, tears and an unfathomable depth of love. Raven’s name for the infant was perfect for she was truly his gift from the stars - brought to him by these magical people from ancient Earth, a world he had barely turned his mind to but in passing. He was not a philosophical type. He left that for people with less prosaic concerns. As a physician, he cared for the mind and the body but didn’t fathom as to a greater entity or source. Holding his daughter was enough to make him realize why people could believe in a divine creator. He knew every logical thing about childbirth and pregnancy. Now faced with this miraculous soul that kept him awake into the depths of night and wore them all thin as a ribbon, he could finally understand those that pondered to greater depths.

He wasn’t sure about telling John the truth of Cassiopeia’s biological parentage. The discovery had been made in an earlier blood panel, around the same time as the revelations that the bonding had failed. At the time it had seemed a secondary concern. Now that John and Raven both knew they were Cassiopeia’s biological family would that cement them into staying as Gustus wished they would or would it further their desire to take the child with them when they departed. The latter he would not permit. He had paid attention to their stories. This child deserved more than a tenuous life aboard a ship that may or may not be successful at finding a new home. It was selfish and he knew it but he refused to apologize for it. 

He heard that thin cry and stepped from the hall into the nursery. Inside the room was Raven nestled into the rocking chair. Months of lactation had made her a pro and the newborn was a good eater so it was one small relief that this had worked out well. He set down the mug of coffee and bent to press a kiss to the top of Raven’s head before doing the same to Cassiopeia. 

“Good morning. Did you get any sleep at all?” He asked quietly. They were rotating with one of them with Raven through the night and the other two spelling off during the day, sleeping in another part of the house at night to get some sleep. Only Raven did not get the privilege of a good sleep, ever, for Peia had decided she hated bottles with the fiery and inexplicable passion of an irrational baby. 

“A few hours. Emori’s so good with her. I swear she walked the house with her for hours last night.” Raven murmured quietly. It was true that Emori had a knack with the baby. It was quite cute actually for the dogs would trail after her as she walked, turning Emori into the leader of a sort of procession. They had to bar the dogs from the nursery because they wanted to constantly be so close to the infant that it made it impossible to get near her. So outside the nursery only! The most disgruntled of them slept right outside the door in a form of canine protest. Gustus sincerely hoped that Peia liked dogs because it was apparent that they had made her their puppy. 

He smiled indulgently, “John is making breakfast for you. He’ll be in soon.” Gustus murmured conversationally as he started to fold diapers for ease of use by the little one. “There are blooms up in the garden and it is quite warm if you want to go outside later.” 

“You’re really happy aren’t you?” she asked, her voice soft and almost dreamy. 

“Are you talking to me or the baby?” he teased. 

Raven huffed out a sleepy laugh and he watched her trace a fingertip down the cheek of the nursing infant. “You, Master Gus.” 

“A beautiful child with a woman I love? It is my greatest dream and it is even better than I hoped it would be.” Gustus replied, the sincerity of his words evident. He didn’t use flowery language and he had promised himself after the debacle of it all that he wouldn’t lie, even by omission to them again. 

Raven reached for his hand and he folded his over her small one, crouching low enough to meet her dark-eyed gaze. “Are you happy, Raven? Or have I ruined your life?” he asked. 

“I love her so much. I don’t …” she paused and swallowed, tears sparkling in her eyes as she tried to find her words, “I didn’t know I could love anyone like this. It’s too much. It’s terrifying.” 

“Yes it is.” Leaning in, he dusted a kiss over her lips and opened his mouth to speak. At that moment, the door opened and John came through with a tray laden with Raven’s favourites. Raven tugged her hand out of Gustus’ grasp and dashed her tears away. She switched the baby from one side to the other and settled her again. Gustus smiled at the pair and left them to their time with their daughter. If they stayed, this bonding time was important. If they left, these would be treasured memories of their time with their daughter. 

Gustus prayed to all the ancient gods that they would choose to stay. He walked upstairs to find Emori crawling into bed after consuming some of the breakfast John had prepared. Indulging himself, he tucked in the dark-haired beauty and allowed himself to press soft kisses along her tattoo and down to her lips. He adjusted her sleep mask and went to stand up. Before he could, her hand shot out and touched his leg. 

“Stay. Just until I’m asleep.” she whispered. 

His heart squeezed. He knew she didn’t mean it. Emori was the one who wanted to leave the very most and he knew that. She had risked everything to make sure she wouldn’t have to stay. Yet, he loved her so very much - this exceptional woman was so gentle and good despite all that life had done to her, right from the minute she was born. 

Gustus nodded, “Of course.” He settled next to her and watched as her head moved from pillow to his lap. One hand trailed up and down her small back, her sleep mask covered her eyes and he remained in this spot long after her breathing grew soft and even, her grip loosened and her lips parted in a little snore, indicating that she was, indeed, very tired after spending the night tending to their Raven and Peia. 

John found him there, several hours later, sound asleep himself and curled around Emori. Gustus woke with a start when John touched his chest. “My turn for a nap.” the young man whispered. It was fair. He slipped away carefully and let John slide into the warm spot he vacated. He dusted a kiss over the boy’s temple and pulled the blankets over both of them. 

It was exactly the way he had thought it would be. Even better perhaps. He hadn’t lied about that. However, it was borrowed time and he knew it. 

They were already ghosts in his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of sweetness in this chapter. I hope you enjoyed the arrival of Cassiopeia. Thanks to DialedIn for her unflagging support and editing prowess. Have a wonderful day to all who take the time to read my work.


	16. malovelence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **In which Roan finds out about the deceptions and his curiosity is piqued. Bad times for Echo result.**
> 
> _Trigger Warning for sexual assault (object insertion)._

**_“You are trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen, and I think it quite ungentlemanly.”_ **

**_Roan_ **

The messenger was stumbling over his words and Roan’s patience trickled away faster than the proverbial sand in the hourglass. During the Harvest Gathering, he had the strangest sense of something being off and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Recently, he heard an intriguing rumour that some of Gustus’ workers along with a few of Anya’s had met at the dropship of the old Earthers. It had landed in some inconsequential area and frankly, the technology it possessed was so archaic that it had been left to moulder. Apparently this had been an error but he wasn’t sure why. Surely they weren’t leaving? Unless there was something of value on it. Something he had neglected. He had immediately dispatched several of his own people to lurk and this messenger returned with information that couldn’t seem to get past his tongue.

Roan finally surged to his feet and the poor young creature stumbled backwards in a hasty effort to get away from the fearsome man. The motion amused him and in that sense soothed some of his ill-temper. “Spit it out. Now. Before I cut it out of your tiny brain. Do I make myself clear?” The messenger gulped loudly and finally spoke words that shocked Roan to his core. 

“It didn’t work. On them. The _treatments_ I mean. I…. I … I,” Another swallow as Roan stared, aghast, before the messenger continued, “I hear they are leaving once the pregnant one recovers from having her baby.” 

“Lincoln’s pregnant one or the one that belongs to Gustus?” he growled. 

“Master Gustus, Sir. The Lincoln one is rumoured to be staying. The rest of her people don’t … d-d-d-don’t seem to like her very much.” The messenger explained with an uncertain stutter. 

Roan’s mind reeled at this information. It didn’t work? How was this even possible? Surely not. No. It couldn’t be. He remembered that one called Echo. He had regretted parting with her. A former warrior, the hard lines of her body appealed to Roan and he desired to break the creature. Instead he had put profit before passion and sold her away. To be fair, he had made a damn good profit on his investment with that one. 

A thought occurred to him and it was a dark, unwholesome thought indeed. Reaching into a small safe, he withdrew a small card with a sizeable amount of credits allotted on it. He held it out to the young messenger. “One word and every damn member of your family will disappear from this world as if they had never existed and if there are insufficient family members, I’ll slake my blade on your community until it’s desire for blood is satisfied. Do I make myself clear?” 

The boy looked like he was about to shit himself which was entertaining to say the least, “Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir. Not one word, Sir.” He snatched the card from Roan’s hand and fled his office as though the ancient demons of hellfire were nipping at his heels. Although perhaps just one demon would do in this instance. 

Roan reached into the safe again, he withdrew a small cloth bag, filling it with small gold pieces. It was not a mineral that existed on this world, which made it both incredibly valuable and entirely worthless all at the same time. Roan’s multi-great grandmother had brought quite a bit with her in her wedding chest. It had been the foundation of Roan’s family wealth for quite some time, although now most of it derived from the auctions themselves. 

The instinct to take off immediately was strong but he had to be sensible. It wouldn’t take that long to reach Anya’s residence by any number of conveyances available to him. However, what he would do when he got there was another thing entirely. He had to be practical. They were on the doorstep of the next auctions. He already had playthings locked up undergoing _treatments_. He had rounds to finish and torment, such delicious torment, to deliver. So Roan considered. 

After finishing his afternoon rounds and enjoying the whining pleas for information from their reluctant participants in the program, Roan returned to his office and poured himself a large glass of wine. Tormenting the program participants soothed some of his ruffled edges and allowed him to reconsider the information in a new light. The first thing that troubled him was the concept that the _treatments_ had simply not worked. Why? They had honed them generation after generation. It was as excruciating and effective as ever. The Earthers’ preliminary tests gave every indication of effectiveness. They were compliant, bodies modified and minds the same. Weren’t they? 

Then he remembered that icy look on Lincoln’s tiny female and thought perhaps not. 

But why? 

He couldn’t credit it. It made no sense and Roan much preferred when events proceeded as they ought to do. This variation troubled and yet fascinated him. The warrior woman from ancient Earth popped to mind all too often. He wouldn’t mind snatching up the pretty thing that belonged to Lincoln but a pregnancy was far too valuable to risk. Anya’s female had failed in her duties and had yet to produce a child. Therefore he suspected Anya would barely miss a useless slave like this woman from ancient Earth. 

His mind was swirling with possibilities when he heard another soft tap at the door. “Enter!” snarled Roan. He was startled to see the door pop open and the messenger slide in again. 

“I … I f-f-f-f-forgot to tell you something, Sir.” the messenger whispered, one foot half way out the door as he glanced up and then back down to the floor again. 

“And? Spit it out already.” Roan roared. He enjoyed the flavour of fear but this boy was ridiculous. 

“Theysterilizedthemselvestoavoidgettingpregnant.” The words were not separate and distinct and Roan caught just enough to be entirely confused. 

“Enunciate you fool.” 

“Sterile. They made themselves sterile.” The messenger got out, looked up, saw the expression on Roan’s face and then ran. There was a distinct scent of piss in the air. 

Pathetic. 

Roan stepped around the mess made and nodded at a servant that was already rushing to clean it up. He didn’t wait for the morning light. These people deserved not the slightest consideration or modicum of compassion from him. They should have shot these fools out of the air when they saw that shuttle coming down. They deserved everything he did to them, starting with that cold bitch from ancient Earth with the long legs. He should have staked his claim on her when he had the chance. Damn his love of profit. 

Oh but the girl was useless to Anya now, which meant he could do what he liked with her. She might even live, for a little while at least. 

**_Echo_**

Echo loved the spring and in particular she loved Bellamy in the spring. After the comfortable retreat of winter in which they had spent many hours together in all manner of pursuit - games, sparring, reading and sex, oh by all the ancient gods, so much sex it was probably a miracle she could walk at all - spring had drawn their Mistress Anya away to her official duties. It took some of the playful heat out of their sex play but she and Bellamy still spent their time together. Bellamy was however, enjoying this new life in a world he was still getting to know.

“Come look at this one, Echo?” he called out from the rear of the garden. Echo followed. Today her long strands were braided and pinned up into a swirling, messy arrangement that Anya found charming. Her long skirt fluttered around her ankles and a loose sweater stolen from Bellamy’s side of the closet kept the light chill of the spring breeze from her shoulders. 

Bellamy cupped the back of her head and gave her a soft kiss of greeting before nodding toward a riot of violet coloured flowers. She loved his enthusiasm for all the information about this world and let him do his research before describing everything in detail to her. He was a ridiculous and perfect man and she couldn’t believe this was going to be her life. 

Bellamy explained, “These are local flowers named after Kaylee Lee, one of the original settlers. They are kays and they have healing properties, particularly if you chew the leaves then it will reduce a fever and can even …” he didn’t finish his sentence, blanching as he looked up to see riders coming toward them at speed. 

“Run.” Bellamy stated and he didn’t need to tell her twice. She took off running and he kept pace beside her. As one rider approached, she lunged for a gardening tool. It was just a small trowel but she stabbed it hard into the arm of the man reaching for her. She had no idea what was happening but by damned there was no way Anya would permit this invasion into her territory. The rider screamed and nearly fell from his horse. Bellamy was doing his best with some rocks he had snatched up from the garden beds. Echo lamented all the sparring sticks, swords and knives just a hundred metres or so away in the damned house. They just never expected an attack on Anya’s private grounds. Foolish apparently. Never again would she allow herself to go anywhere without a knife on her. She knew better. Emori always carried one regardless of circumstance. She obviously should listen to her friend. 

The riders circled. Both she and Bellamy tried to break the lines. Bellamy almost made it once but his route was cut off as two riders slid from their animals and tackled him to the ground. She supposed she should be pleased that they sent almost two dozen of their guards to capture her and Bellamy. Flattered, perhaps? Except all she wanted was for them to fuck right off. 

“What the hell do you want?” Bellamy screamed. “Get off me.” They dragged him backwards and Echo sent a kick straight into the side of one of them, sending him gasping to his knees. Then she felt it. That familiar scent. Him. The monster from Sanctum that haunted her nightmares was here. She turned her head to find him right behind her. She blanched and tried to scramble away but it was too late. He grabbed her arm and she screamed as she watched the needle in his hand pierce her skin. Then he released her, letting her try to get away. Echo took ten steps before her racing heartbeat sent the concoction through her bloodstream at an accelerated rate. She almost reached the stairs when she finally collapsed, unable to move any further. 

It did not make her unconscious unfortunately. She couldn’t speak or move. Each blink took forever but she could see and hear everything that happened. Roan had two of his men haul her up to feet that no longer worked. When they dragged her across the soft grass her shoes came off in the process. Tears traced her cheeks as they held her up enough to see Bellamy bound face down, his arms wedged behind him in a position she could not imagine was comfortable. His ankles were bound together as well. 

Then she heard the rip of fabric to see his pants being torn away. What the hell were they doing? Bellamy was shouting. Echo’s eyes widened but it was all she could do. In her mind she screamed as Roan crouched low enough to meet Bellamy’s furious gaze. “Don’t worry slave boy.” The Master of Sanctum held up a small leather purse. “There are enough credits and gold pieces in here for your lady to get two new ones for you to breed at the next auctions. I’m just taking this one. Anya’s a practical woman and since the bonding failed …” 

Bellamy gasped at that and she mentally cursed him for being so damned obvious. If they survived this, she really needed to start working with him on keeping a straight face and not giving everything away. “No … no …” Bellamy screamed. Roan growled in irritation as he shoved a wad of fabric into Bellamy’s mouth and then bound another strip of cloth over his mouth, effectively gagging him. 

Roan sighed at the sudden silence, “Ah that is so much better yes? Anyway, as I was saying since the bonding failed, she won’t care more than this purse will compensate her. She can have a little alone time with you before replacing this useless barren creature.” Roan nodded toward Echo and then grinned down at Bellamy’s disdainful, enraged expression. Echo wanted to scream and even more she wanted to cut out Roan’s tongue for saying such things about her. 

“You don’t mind giving this to your Mistress, do you boy?” Roan murmured before reaching around the bound younger man to shove the purse into Bellamy’s back passage until only a small string protruded. Echo tried to scream but nothing came out. She lifted a foot to kick out but only succeeded in having one of the guards half drop her onto the grass, wrenching her arm in the process. She would have cried out in pain if she was capable of doing so. Bellamy sobbed on the ground, watching her with desperate eyes. 

Roan lifted her and placed her face down over his saddle. His hand caressed over the curve of her ass as he did so. “Forgot what a great ass you had Echo. We’re going to have some fun, aren’t we? Don’t worry, I’ll only keep you alive long enough to figure out how you all managed to reject the _treatments_. That should have been impossible.” His tone was soft and conversational as internally Echo screamed in protest. 

She wanted to go home. She wanted Bellamy. She wanted her Mistress. Just let me go home, she mentally begged, I was home. Tears trickled freely down her flushed cheeks as she could see the grand manor she had come to love disappear in the distance. 

Please let me go home.

**_Anya_**

Anya was relishing her new life. She had been ambivalent for decades about taking a set for herself. Now that she had, she understood that she had merely been waiting. Unable to settle, it had taken the extraordinary arrival of these people from ancient Earth for her to find the ones she had been unconsciously searching for her entire adult life.

There was only one fly in the ointment as her grandfather used to say - the unwieldy sense that their protestations that they wished to stay were not, in fact, true. It haunted her, sometimes keeping her up at night. She had them bound and trapped with no options before them so they had made a clever move to restore themselves into her affections. Her physicians assured her there was no damage as a consequence of the medications she feared they had taken. Could she trust this unruly heart? If only she had the surety of the bond to rely upon. Was this how love used to be in the ancient days? This ever-present uncertainty? Gods but it was awful. How did they suffer it? 

As the winter melted away and her time of indulgence with her pair faded, Anya set about preparing her people and her land for the year ahead. There were always concerns that merited attention. A new school to build or a renovation to a public building of some kind was needed, not to mention crops that needed tending and warriors to train. Overall, her people were accustomed to a certain level of attention from the Mistress and she wasn’t about to let them down. She never had before and she would brook no change professionally now that she had a family, no matter how tempting they may be. 

She returned to her residence in the late afternoon and inquired with a passing servant as to the location of her pair. The servant smiled and directed her toward the garden. Her sweet Bellamy had recently gotten a horticultural bug that amused her and which darling Echo was tolerating very well. He did get these enthusiasms, which were entertaining at least. She walked through the house and out into the back garden and looked down the long path. 

There appeared to be a crumpled piece of fabric laying on the ground. Had the wind tossed about an old cushion or something, she thought absently as she walked. She intended to ask one of the servants to deal with it when it moved and she realized it was not an it. Bellamy! Her heart jumped in her chest as she ran across the expanse of lawn to come to a stop at the man’s side. He was gagged and his feet were bent and bound to his wrists. His arms were tied together. The Mistress hastily untied the cloth around his mouth first and touched the tear stained cheeks. How long had he been out here like this? 

“Bellamy, my love, what happened?” she asked as she started to untie his ankles. That’s when she saw it, his bare ass, the tassel and streaks of dried blood. Oh no no no … this was unacceptable. There was only one person who would dare to do this. 

Her eyes flashed to Bellamy’s. “Roan?” she queried. Bellamy shuddered and then sobbed softly. How his body must hurt. She looked around. “Echo? Where is …. Oh no, please tell me that he did not.” 

His voice was a rasp, “He took her.” Anya finished unbinding him as her hands shook with rage. She was known for her cold nature and ruthlessly practical mind. Neither of which were in play at this moment. She felt only the burning heat of rage and the icy cloud of grief. The two warred and anger won. She would not grieve until she knew she must. She would fight for the return of what was hers or lay waste to Sanctum itself in her vengeance. Bellamy could barely move from his body being bound for so long in such a position. His hand fell and then reached for hers, holding it tightly. 

“Echo …” the words were a soft cry and she cupped his face and met his gaze. 

“We will get her back and I will make him pay for daring to put his hands on her.” Anya stated, a hard anger filling her voice with a certainty she did not, at heart, feel. If Roan had a head start of several hours, there was a great deal of damage he could do to her beautiful girl in that time. Her beautiful girl. Echo. 

“She fought didn’t she?” she asked with certainty in her voice. 

Bellamy had evidently been screaming for hours behind that gag for his voice was raw, “We did. She did. She was amazing. Had ... “ a soft swallow, “he had to drug her to get her.” 

Anya smiled, “That’s our girl.” 

Two of the servants, who had trailed out to deliver an array of beverages to the Mistress and her pair, paused when they saw the scene before them. Anya rose to her feet and regarded them severely. She didn’t blame them for not checking the garden. She had instructed them to give her pair plenty of privacy when they were together. Still, she had thought them safe and she had been wrong. If there was fault here, it lay at her doorstep. 

Her voice was chipped in pure icy surety, the Mistress they all knew and trusted with their lives and the lives of their families stood before them in all authority. Her instructions were clear, “Send for the physician and sound the alarm. Master Roan has taken Echo. We are at war. Come and help Bellamy inside. Tell the warriors we ride as soon as the physician has cleared Bellamy to travel.” 

She paused to touch Bellamy’s cheek with a gentle hand, “I must go advise my allies, my lovely boy. I want the physician to look you over, if you are able to be with me, I would prefer it. There is no one in this world who will fight harder for Echo than you.” 

The man reached for her with a shaking hand and cupped the back of her head to draw her close. Their foreheads touched and she heard him whisper, “Yes there is … you.” Perhaps their love was real or perhaps he merely trusted that hers was. 

Either way, they were bringing war to Sanctum and if Echo was dead, Sanctum would burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Sunday update as we creep up on the conclusion of this terrible tale of mine. It is likely going to actually be 23 chapters to bring it to a fulsome conclusion with epilogue cause I cannot resist an epilogue in my stories. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read. It is truly appreciated. Gratitude once again goes to my beta reader for her diligence and encouragement no matter how busy her life may be. I hope every writer on this platform has such a fantastic writing partner and friend. We all deserve such awesomeness in our life. Have a fantastic day all!


	17. war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ****
> 
> **in which war comes to Sanctum.**
> 
> _Trigger warning for fighting, death, references to torture and assault. Please heed the trigger warnings_

**_“Night will fall and the dark will rise when a good man goes to war.”_ **

**_Lexa_**

Lexa felt Clarke shift in her sleep, sliding just that fraction closer. Every time she did that it melted Lexa’s heart just a little further. She filtered her hand into the silky blonde waves and toyed with them gently. Clarke’s recovery had been a slow thing and there would always be a lingering guilt that she had failed her beloved so spectacularly. How could she have not seen what Titus was up to? She couldn’t have fathomed it, she had to admit, but still … Clarke’s pain was so overwhelming at times they both choked on it.

Strangely it had also brought them much closer. There was no wall now between them, no lingering sense of deception. All the cards were on the table so to speak and they had shared everything with one another from the madness of Clarke’s time on old Earth to her complex relationship with her mother to her love for her adopted daughter. Lexa shared the burdens of her position and managing the complex territory when she had dreamed of other adventures of her own. In this new honesty and connection, they found something real. 

She loved Clarke Griffin with all of her heart. 

Amazingly, she believed Clarke when she shared that she loved Lexa as well. 

They only had a short window of time together so instead of grieving the inevitable end, they would find the pleasure of each new day. They went on adventures, exploring places that she had never had the chance to see in all her days given the duties that were always waiting for her. Lexa set those to the side, asking her distant cousin, Luna, to manage them while she savoured this time with Clarke. Luna was proficient enough to take care of what needed to be done during this sabbatical that Lexa was taking. 

Clarke’s eyelashes fluttered open and she smiled sleepily at her lover, “Good morning Lexa.” 

“Good morning, my beloved. Are you ready for our sailing adventure today?” Lexa murmured before pressing a tender kiss to Clarke’s cheek. The slave opened her mouth to reply but there was a sudden banging at the door. 

“Mistress!” the servant shouted. 

“Go away Yelena!” Lexa replied crisply, “See Luna if you need anything.” 

“Mistress! There is an urgent relay from Mistress Anya.” the servant continued, ignoring their Mistress’ dismissal. “It is important. You must come.” 

Lexa grumbled unpleasant things about one of her dearest friends as she slipped from the bed and the comfort of Clarke’s embrace. She tugged on a silky robe and shoved her feet into soft house shoes that she liked to wear. She was about to relay a message to Clarke when she saw that the woman had already dressed and was pulling her hair back. 

“Quick use of the washroom and we can go?” Clarke suggested. Lexa opened her mouth to deny her company and then thought better of it. 

“Yes, I will use this one, you go next door. I will wait for you.” Lexa agreed and she saw Clarke’s grin in response. She had been expecting Lexa to dismiss her and it spoke volumes as to how far they had come that they could still surprise one another. She felt her heart lift in genuine warmth. Gods but she loved this woman. 

After using the facilities, washing up and tying her hair into a loose braid that tumbled to the middle of her back, she left the room to find Clarke already waiting. Yelena, a large woman of impressively fearsome demeanour seemed upset and nervous. Lexa’s mind and expression grew somber. Whatever this was, it was grave indeed for this woman, who was not easily rattled, to appear so damned apprehensive. 

They walked to the messaging room and Lexa logged in and waited for the black screen to fill with Anya’s presence. She didn’t even have time to acknowledge the woman before she was speaking. 

“Roan invaded my territory and took Echo.” 

Lexa was on her feet in an instant, her eyes fixed to the screen. 

“Why?” 

“He found out, referring to her as barren and some other information that is jumbled and illogical at best. However, we always knew what kind of man Roan was.” 

“Was?” 

“He is a walking ghost for either he dies or I do.” Anya replied and then smiled but it dripped in venom tinged with earned arrogance, “And we both know it will not be me.” 

“So it is war.” 

“No … wait? Isn’t there any possibility of negotiation? I mean war is …” Clarke protested. Lexa reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

“We have long known this day would come. Roan has finally gone too far. We will stand against him. It is time to end his family’s rule and the auctions.” Lexa replied and she looked up to see Anya nodding in agreement. 

Anya stated, “I have been thinking the same, any people that have to rely on suffering to continue don’t deserve to survive.” 

Lexa nodded. “I must go gather my warriors. I will see you in Sanctum. We will restore your family to you, for so long as they remain here, they are yours.” 

“Roan dies.” 

“So it is written and so it shall be, as my father used to say.” Lexa agreed. 

Anya’s smirk faded to one of remembrance, “I wish he were here to ride with us but I would be pleased to ride beside his daughter. Clarke? I assume you will be coming. This is good. Bellamy could use your assistance in his efforts to rescue our Echo while I deal with Roan.” 

Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand uncomfortably and she nodded, “I’ll be there. I’ll help him.” 

Anya nodded, “Good. He tells me you can be incredibly fierce. I could use that and so could he.” 

“Where is he?” Clarke interrupted. 

Bellamy’s Mistress glanced down, pain evident on her features in a way that made Lexa’s heart give a funny jump. She had never seen Anya in such an emotional state. Anya’s reply was soft, “Roan took a little extra effort to cause him injury to his body and his dignity. The healer is treating his body. His spirit will take a little longer. A friend would be good right now.” she acknowledged. 

“Then I will be there. We’ll get his Echo home again, where she belongs.” Clarke replied and Lexa approved that strength in her tone. It was a restoration for Lexa had not shared the indignities and violations Titus inflicted upon her Clarke with anyone. It was too private to Clarke and Lexa couldn’t cause her any more pain. To see that Clarke’s spirit had returned lifted Lexa and provided a surprising degree of optimism in a bleak situation. 

“See you soon, Anya.” Lexa acknowledged with a sharp nod. 

“In Sanctum.” Anya affirmed and then the screen went black. 

Lexa turned to Clarke and pulled her in close for just a minute. “We’ll help our friends and then get back to our adventures. I love you Clarke.” 

“I love you too, Lexa.” 

By nightfall, Lexa’s impressive army had gathered, moving with well-trained precision. Titus had not been a good man but he had been an excellent general. This time Clarke had armour of her own that hid or at least protected her enhanced assets. It was downright adorable how cute she looked, Lexa noted, but alas now was not the time. They had a battle to win, a family to restore and a new world order to begin. 

The moon would be forever changed by the days ahead. 

The war for the soul of Sanctum had begun. 

**_Nathan_**

Sanctum loomed like a jewel in a distance and above it they could see flares rising into the dark night sky. It was actually quite beautiful. It was hard to believe that on the ground, people were at war. Did they bring war to every place they went? It felt like they left a trail of destruction behind them. Nathan’s morbid thoughts rattled through his mind as the ships neared the port that would lead up to Sanctum.

The three ships from the territory that belonged to Ilian’s family were loaded down with warriors, weapons and most importantly, medical supplies. He could see Eric in the distance on the bridge of the sister ship working to prepare the supplies to treat the wounded. It was a converted hospital ship now, Nathan supposed. 

On the third vessel was Ilian and his warriors, preparing for what was ahead. He missed the other two men like a limb had been severed from his body. He missed the comfort he only found in Eric’s arms and he longed for the heat of Ilian and his hands upon him. Since the revelations, the man had refrained from touching them but they still sat down to every meal together. It was like a fucked up kind of penance. Sometimes he could see Ilian’s hands shake, especially if he or Eric brushed past the young Master. 

The young women who had longed for children of their own had been sent home with no reward for their stay in Ilian’s port town. Their disappointment had felt like a lance to Nathan’s heart. Every action they took only hurt more people. He and Eric had clung so hard to the idea that they were all villains that they had failed to see how many ways they had grown to find a home here. Now it was all too late. He wished there could be a do-over, a second chance, where they got to choose. Of course, who said he and Eric would have selected the same man to claim them. 

Another rumble sounded in the distance as the dawn began to warm the skies. The closer they came, the more the ghoulish scene became evident. Bodies floated by the piers and they could make out the screams in the distance. Nathan drew in slow and ragged breaths and tried to find that part of himself that survived six years in the bunker, that survived the Ark and his hasty and ill-advised trip to the ground as part of the 100. It was the part of himself that could rise past horror and pain and find a way to survive. Perhaps he had lost this piece during the comfort of the last year in Ilian’s elegant home and safe community. 

As the boat grazed against the pier the crew began tying off the vessel as the warriors flooded past them. They surged over the docks with Ilian at the centre. His gentle Master did not have the raging confidence of the warriors that surrounded him. As he moved past Nathan, he had glanced at him and nodded back to the ship, “Protect the crew.” 

“But my friends.” he had protested. 

“Eric will stay on the Juniper. Protect your love.” Ilian ordered and then turned away, flowing in tandem with the other men, a weapon drawn and prepared to engage in bloodshed. The young Master was not a warrior. He was so soft and Nathan did not want the man to lose that part of himself. Still he nodded, acknowledging the order even though Ilian wasn’t looking at him any longer. The rush of fear flooded Nathan as Ilian disappeared over the crest of the rise leading into the palace grounds. 

Eric was watching from the deck of the other ship and Nathan couldn’t look at him, not directly, because everything still hurt. He wasn’t even sure with whom he was most angry - Ilian, Eric, himself, or even Gustus for figuring out the wrong that they had committed in the name of freedom. It certainly seemed to finally answer the age old adage as to whether two wrongs made a right. They did not, in fact, make anything right. It was just pain on top of anger and grief. 

His heart ached for Emori, who had trusted them and their plan, and had damaged herself by doing so. It was a mistake they could never remedy, no matter how much they wished that was the case. As one of the Sanctum guards raced down to the pier with their sword drawn, Nathan felt gratitude at the distraction. He surged off the deck and drew his own weapon. The guard was the pretty kind with minimal training and elegant movements. Soon his body was floating alongside the others in the water below and Nathan cleaned the blood and brain matter off his blade. 

The sounds of battle echoed loudly now as the soldiers were drawing closer and closer to the water’s edge. Another small group broke free of the others and made a move toward the boats. This time, Nathan and the other warriors left to stand guard did not wait on the pier. Instead they clashed with them on the shoreline and he savoured the firm earth beneath his feet. More warriors swooped down toward them and he looked up to see Ilian framed against the skyline. 

Fuck, he was so beautiful. 

The thought distracted him long enough that the Sanctum guard to his left swung hard and the flat of his blade knocked Nathan to the ground. He felt Ilian’s scream in his bones, as if it emanated from his mouth and not the Master’s. Nathan’s head swam and he could feel his hot blood pouring over one cheek as he cried out in agony. He must have hit his head on something, he noted absently. 

“Eric.” he mumbled to himself, hating to break the man’s heart. He wasn’t dying was he? Then Ilian was there, pulling off his face shield and setting it aside so he could evaluate Nathan’s injuries. 

“Here. I will take you to him.” Ilian murmured gently as he helped Nathan to his feet. The blood from his wound ran heavily now, clouding his vision and dripping to the ground. “You’ll be alright,” the young Master assured him. “Head injuries always bleed freely. A means of preventing infection I think.” 

The soldier, as if realizing his quarry was getting away as Ilian and his personal warriors were trying to draw Nathan away and back toward the ship already set up to treat the profoundly wounded. They were almost to the dock’s edge when Nathan heard the noise behind him. A loud rushing sound of leather and heavy steps combined with the ringing clang of swords bashing into one another. He turned his head just as Ilian did the same. His Master shoved him so hard that Nathan slipped and rolled toward the pier, landing against it, winded and gasping. He managed to rise to his feet in time to see the sword pierce Ilian’s abdomen and then withdraw. Blood spilled forth as the weapon retreated. Ilian’s weapon tumbled to the ground below. It all seemed to be in some terrible slow motion. The warrior drew back his blade, intending to behead Ilian, Nathan thought and then he screamed, some inarticulate cry with a thousand meanings and none at all - just pain and preemptive grief. 

The Sanctum warrior jerked himself and dropped his sword as another of Ilian’s men cut his arm from his body and then twisted, neatly severing the warrior’s head from his body. Nathan crawled forward, screaming for someone to get Eric, crying out for someone to help as he finally managed to arrive at Ilian’s crumpled form. 

“Ilian .. Master ... “ Nathan whispered as he desperately pressed his hands to the wound, gathering soft fabric up as he did so. Eric arrived, withdrawing thick pads from his suture bag and reaching for the wound. Ilian’s hands stopped them, wrapping his own around Eric and Nathan’s. 

“No … no … I’d rather …” Ilian coughed, spraying blood as he did so. It trickled from his lips. With effort, he opened his eyes and seemed to savour their proximity. It was the first time they had touched since that terrible day. 

“Sir? We have to treat you. Please.” Eric begged, trying to pull away to do just that. 

“Let me go. Please. I don’t want to watch you leave. I’d rather … I’d rather this. Please. Just stay with me until I am gone.” Ilian whispered. Nathan tipped his body forward to rest his cheek against Ilian’s shoulder. Under the scent of dirt, metal, blood and worse, there was Ilian. He watched as Eric did the same. Then Ilian smiled and closed his eyes for the last time. They didn’t move until Ilian drew his last ragged breath, shuddered and seemed to sigh. Just like that, he was gone. 

Eric sat up first and met Nathan’s eyes, his own full of sorrow, “I have to go help the others if I can. We … “ he choked up a little and then pressed forward, “... we should treat your head too.” 

Nathan had stopped noticing if he were honest but he nodded slowly and found the motion painful. Getting up and leaving Ilian’s body on the blood soaked ground next to the remains of the man who had slain him was the hardest thing he had ever done in a lifetime full of hard things. 

They had just reached the ship when screaming sounded and it was a voice they recognized very well. “Octavia!” the two men said in unison. Nathan and Eric started to move, pushing through the crowd. The delayed treatment would result in a particularly ugly scar across the top of Nathan’s head but they had no time to think of such things. They reached the top of the hill and stared in amazement as the petite and very pregnant Octavia circled Roan, who had the look of trapped prey no matter how hard he tried to hide it. 

Nathan’s smile was a cold thing for he knew, even pregnant, that Octavia was more than a match for the Monster of Sanctum. 

**_Roan_**

The ride back to Sanctum with his pretty little prisoner was a delightful treat. Tugging up the long skirt, he curled his hand around one firm arsecheek and allowed his fingertips to trace over her well-groomed sex. Roan grunted with soft pleasure that was only heightened by the soft squeaks of protest, the only sounds she could form in her drugged state.

“So Anya keeps your cunt well groomed I see. That’s quite the treat.” His laughter was silky and offensive to all that heard it. Roan pressed two fingers into her sex, unconcerned that she did not desire this rough caress. The _treatments_ made her perpetually wet, which was a shame for it hurt far less than he would have preferred if he were honest. He would have loved to have stopped, taking her out in the sunshine, the drugs keeping her locked in her brain and body as he rode out his pleasure in each one of her holes, including a few more than he might add for his own sweet relief. 

Unfortunately, he was not so foolish as to believe that Anya would accept his territorial invasion despite her lack of interest in the female. After all, what was the use of a barren slave? None in his opinion - just someone who consumed while offering nothing of value. Their world had enough of these useless versions of a woman. What he would not give to have an empire on old Earth, when people were capable of being bred over and over. Now you were lucky to get even two babies off one slave. 

Fucking useless. Each and every one of them. 

Useless. 

As if the slave bouncing roughly against his saddle was responsible for this general useless of her kind, he pressed another finger into her sex as his thumb pushed against the puckered ring of her asshole. She whined for that would hurt and it was enough to warm Roan’s features into a soft smile. This was going to be fun. Roan did not have any genuine fear of repercussions. A barren slave had no value and surely the others would see it that way. He’d give Anya a good deal on her next set or two and she could even keep that floppy haired male. This one would be enough for now. He’d play with her a little and then they would start dissecting her, starting with her reproductive organs to see what these old Earthers had done to themselves. 

The fun part of such an event was that since her survival was irrelevant no anesthesia would be required. She would feel every damn thing as they opened her up and began pulling out her parts, showing them to her, drawing it out so that she would surely die from the trauma of it. Next they would dissect her brain to find out the reason for the failures of the last _treatment_ program. Perhaps this was the hurdle, the challenge, that would radically improve the _treatments_ and surge them forward into a new day on this fine world they had remade to suit them. 

The hour grew late as they finally arrived in the grand city. Sanctum was truly the jewel he deserved. In his grandfather’s time the palace was the only building of note. Now it all glittered and humbly turned on his whim and desire. Even the building in which the slaves in treatment were kept was stunningly beautiful, even if there were half a dozen coded and locked doorways to get into that particular part of the building. 

Roan didn’t stop there, instead, he looped his arm around Echo’s back and tossed her roughly over his shoulder. Her body would be black and blue by morning but he could not have cared less if he were entirely honest. The private elevator carried him to the top floor of the medical treatment building. It was an extraordinary level, primarily used by researchers and housing only their human test subjects. There was also an extensively and robustly outfitted operating theatre so they could explore failures in proximity. 

Here would be where Echo spent the last of her days. If he had his way, more of the useless Earthers would wind up here over the next few years. If they were barren, the attachments would obviously wane, leaving them apt to be resold. No kidnapping necessary. He dropped Echo to the floor where she landed in a crumpled heap, her long hair strewn around her, having been released from whatever hair style in which it had been trapped, and her skirt was flipped up over her belly, showing all of her long legs and her abused looking cunt. In fact, she looked ripe for a fuck. 

His hand was at his belt buckle when he heard a tap at the door. Swinging around, he met the eyes of one of the bolder messengers. “Master Roan.” the older man stated in a weary disaffected tone, “There are several calls for you from the Masters and Mistresses across the moon. They insist on speaking with you immediately.” 

“For fuck’s sake.” he snarled and as he turned and walked out of the room, he could see in the distance, the glow of light as it approached. 

For the first time in many decades, Roan felt a rush of fear. “Close the gates, put warriors on the roads and passageways, send them down to the docks and thread them through the woods. No one enters Sanctum. This city is mine. The palace is mine.” 

“Yes Master Roan.” The messenger replied with a crisp nod and then left to follow the orders as directed. 

Roan’s gaze flicked back to those distant lights that seemed to be building by the second. How many warriors did Anya have anyway? And why were some of them coming from Lexa’s territory? Surely she wouldn’t care about Anya’s useless slave. This was absurd. 

How many were coming? 

Was this war? 

Surely not. 

By morning light, the worst had been confirmed. Anya sent a messenger with her demands, the release of Echo, the cessation of the _treatment program_ , the release of all individuals due to be sold in the upcoming auctions and for Roan to step down from his position. 

Roan sent back the messenger’s head to show his disdain for these ridiculous terms. Then the battle began in earnest, for the execution of a messenger was against their oldest laws of hospitality and fair negotiation. Roan had known that law since he was a boy but he had lost his temper and there was no means of putting the milk back in the broken bottle so to speak. 

Lincoln’s warriors poured through the woods, riding their sturdy warhorses and silky smooth trick riders. Lexa’s people streamed through the farmlands, leaving decimation in their wake. Civilians were permitted to collect their possessions and flee. If anyone raised a weapon against them, they were fodder and left to bleed out into the soft earth. 

Anya’s people swarmed from the north, many of them on motorized vehicles and demonstrating how many of them had been waiting for just such a moment. Sanctum’s actions had set it apart and while Roan may have thought he was earning admiration, he was also earning anger and envy. These ugly bedfellows made it all too easy for these people to rise up against Sanctum. 

By the late afternoon on the second day, Roan had fled from his bunker of protection on the top floor of the slave building, through the underground tunnels and up near the small port community on the outskirts of Sanctum. Alas, he stepped out into a fray freshly renewed by the arrival of Ilian’s warriors. 

Then he heard it, that fiery scream of pure rage. He spun around to see the slave that belonged to Lincoln. Her face was painted and her armour fit snugly around her distended belly. On the other side was Mistress Anya, her face splashed with ribbons of blood from those that she had slain in the effort to track him down. 

“This is ridiculous,” he bellowed, “... she’s just some barren slave and you cannot be doing this for her.” Roan was screaming at the pregnant woman. 

“Oh but I am. For my brother. For Echo. For me. For all of us you tortured.” Octavia roared in return. 

“Who the hell are you?” Roan cried out as he felt an unusual shiver of fear as he looked down at the young woman. “You are pregnant. You can’t do this. Go home, you foolish little bitch.” 

“I was the Girl Under the Floor. I was Skairipa. I was Blodreina. Now I am just Octavia Blake. She is the one you should really fear because she is going to kill you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I confess I put off writing this section the longest because I became attached to a character that I intended to be fodder. Now I am sad he is gone. He was a cutie. Thank you again for taking the time to read my twisted tale. Comments are always appreciated but just that you are still following this story or taking the time to read it means a great deal to me. Thank you so much! As always much appreciation to my awesome beta reader. I truly wish every writer or wannabe writer has such an enthusiastic support in their lives. I hope everyone has a wonderful day.


	18. persevere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_the war concludes and the aftermath begins._ **
> 
> _Trigger Warnings for murder, death, assault and allusions/references to sexual assault and abuse. Please heed the trigger warnings._

**_“When he left…_ **   
**_Time stopped_ **   
**_And all I could do_ **   
**_Was count raindrops”_ **

**_Clarke_ **

Clarke was many things but she was not a proficient rider. Fortunately, Lexa had given her a darling gelding named Pocket that she could ride with relative ease and which tended to follow Lexa’s elegant mare. This fact slightly annoyed Clarke but she did recognize it was probably safer that the horse at least knew where it was going. The armour was a nice touch - she didn’t even know Lexa had that made for her. It made her feel as strong as the long knife strapped to her thigh and the sword at her back. She’d give just about anything for a gun but those had been taken upon arrival and none of them had seen them since. On the upside, even the Sanctum guards didn’t use them.

Lexa’s army was indeed impressive. Luna had taken the call to action seriously and in her new role as Lexa’s General and the acting ruler, she had maintained the warriors’ training schedule. Clarke was in awe that they could move with such precision over the vast fields surrounding Sanctum. More amazing were Lincoln’s warriors that seemed to ride in complete silence, moving through the woods as though they did not even touch the earth below. 

She was worried about Bellamy though. He had been through so much and she had had a hand in some of it. God but they had made so many mistakes. It was exhausting to think about at times. If it wasn’t for those on the ship, it would be tempting to stay on this world and do their best to improve it in a means that did not involve bloodshed. Interestingly, for once they did not cause this event. If Roan had just left Echo alone but the fool decided to play with fire and now Sanctum might just burn as a consequence. Clarke could muster no regret about that fact so long as her friends survived. Was this selfish? Probably. 

Glancing over at Lexa, she felt a surge of not just passion but genuine aching affection for the woman. She had won over Clarke completely. In the beginning there was attraction but since the disaster with Titus, Lexa’s guard had come down and the two had met as equals. In that time, Clarke’s attraction had become love. Leaving her was going to be among the hardest decisions of her life, and Clarke knew she was going to miss her so much. 

Lexa stopped her animal and held up her hand, everyone froze - horses seemed to pause mid-step and everyone waited for the signal. Clarke drew in a deep breath and unsheathed her sword. She and Lexa were to ride for the centre where the treatments took place. The idea of going there sent a rush of nausea and fury through her. She did not want to do this she realized but letting down Bellamy and Echo was not an option. Lexa’s hand dropped and the riders surged forward. In the distance she could hear screams that only grew louder as they surged forward. 

Luna led most of the warriors into the centre of the battle while the others traced the perimeter of the old city. It really was lovely, Clarke thought absently as she clung to Pocket who had the good sense to follow Lexa. Her sword flew only when someone had the gall to pull at her leg or attack her horse. They were truly only intentional blows more like slashing and stabbing to get the others away from them. 

Then she saw him. “Bellamy!” she called out as the horse came to a sudden stop. She was nearly pitched from the saddle and lost her sword in the efforts to hold herself still. She practically collapsed off the animal and fell unsteadily to her feet. Bellamy’s arms were around her, pulling her in for a hard hug. 

“About time you got here.” Bellamy said, a pitiful attempt at a joke carrying none of the humour and more pain that she suspected he intended to convey. She could feel his body shake before she pulled back and met his eyes. “We’ll ge….” she didn’t get to finish her sentence as the doors to the beautiful building flew open with force. She and Bellamy crouched low, hiding in the cover provided by the large animals. 

Soldiers surged through the entrance, surrounding the armed Roan as he fled toward the woods. Seeing Anya and the warriors waiting there, the leader of Sanctum seemed to think better of it and scrambled the other way, heading toward the shore. The scream of a battlecry did not come from Anya or Bellamy but rather at someone new, a young woman on horseback with painted warriors around her, riding hard in pursuit. It took Clarke a second to process that the rider was Octavia. 

Anya stepped toward them and looked at Bellamy, touching his arm gently and giving it a light squeeze. The affection in the touch melted Clarke’s heart. He was loved. Oh Bellamy. She turned to watch, unable to resist seeing this interaction. Lexa’s hand appeared at Clarke’s side, offering a spare short sword that Clarke could use. 

“Your sister?” Anya murmured and Bellamy nodded. She smirked, “I like her. I will deal with Roan, along with her I suspect.” 

“And we will get your Echo.” Lexa affirmed. Bellamy nodded, the whites of his eyes showing the stress and fear he was operating under and Clarke felt his pain like it was her own. No further discussion was needed as that fear turned to grim resolution before her eyes. Anya mounted her animal again and was gone before Clarke or Lexa could say anything further. 

The first level was silent. Everyone had fled. It was a grim sort of occupancy when they found the cells on the upper floor. They opened them, setting free those trapped therein and told them in which direction to run. There were no guards or other personnel on any of the first five floors. It was on the sixth floor they found one man, cowering in a closet. Lexa held her blade to his throat and in her eyes, the man must have seen his death for he began to talk in gasping, pleading whispers. Snot and tears dripped over his face as he opened each level and passed them the keycard. Lexa didn’t get the chance to end his life because Bellamy’s blade got there first. 

Clarke just looked at him and his reply was soft. “He was there. In the cells, at Anya’s place. He was having a good time.” It was grim and Clarke reached for some words that could comfort the man but could find none. They travelled upward again, climbing over fleeing patients and captives. It was likely that staff was among them but they didn’t have the time or interest in interrogations. The last floor would not open with the key card. 

As Clarke tried to break into the space, she muttered under her breath, “God I miss Monty.” Bellamy almost laughed at that but it was a sad smile, “Me too.” 

Lexa growled in exasperation. “I do not know this Mounty but we have someone to save here and now. We need into this floor.” Her words were a brusque snarl of frustrated rage. Bellamy pressed his hands to the wall, smoothing his hands over it as if searching for something and then he glanced up. “Fire safety system. Like on the Ark. If we set it off, the doors will open.” 

“Oh my god, great idea.” Clarke agreed. 

Lexa nodded, “Go down a floor and get all the paper you can carry and come back up here. We said Sanctum would burn. Let’s make it a literal statement.” 

Clarke ran and Bellamy wasn’t far behind. She really did have to compliment whoever made her armour, it was supportive and lightweight. She wondered if Lexa would let her keep it. It was a random thought as they opened cabinets and drawers, collecting as much paper as they could. Bellamy grabbed a wooden chair as well. It looked old - which was a shame but couldn’t be helped. 

Bellamy broke it all into pieces as Lexa lit the fire stick and touched it to the edge of the paper. It began to burn, lighting first the fragile paper and then turning the old furniture into an inferno. An alarm screamed, the lights dimmed and finally, as they crouched low and coughed against the billowing smoke as now the wall had become alight, the door popped open. 

Clarke raced behind Bellamy as he shoved open each door. One after the other, finding no one. Not until he arrived at the operating theatre. There, bound to the table but still awake was Echo. The gag between her lips prevented all but the most muffled sounds. Lexa and Clarke set about unfastening her bindings as Bellamy pulled the gag from between her lips. Once freed, he gathered her close and pressed his face to her shoulder. 

“I know what it is to feel that …” Lexa whispered to Clarke, their eyes meeting for a moment. Clarke had been unconscious when Lexa had found her before but seeing Bellamy’s face now, suddenly she had a good understanding of that moment for the fierce woman. The pain of finding out someone you loved was harmed and you were unable to prevent the terrible violation. 

Clarke was about to respond when a scream ripped through the air and a man flew from behind a cabinet and ran toward them, scalpel in hand. They had been so focussed on Echo that they hadn’t searched the room - a foolish mistake. Fortunately it was a mistake easily remedied as Lexa spun, withdrew her sword and separated the man’s head from his body with one smooth movement. 

Echo spoke her first words since they arrived, “I like her.” 

Bellamy laughed, a pitiful and watery sound but nonetheless it was a laugh. His hands tightened around her and pulled her in close. Clarke searched through the remaining cabinets to find soft, thick white sheets and gave Bellamy one to wrap around Echo. She had clearly sustained injuries but their exact nature was unknown. 

“We’ll head for the port and get her to Gustus’ island. He’s the best physician outside of Sanctum and we won’t trust anyone here right now. Now with Anya’s Echo.” Lexa stated firmly. Then her hand touched Bellamy’s shoulder. He flinched but did not move away from the touch. The flinch hurt Clarke’s heart. What had happened to him? 

“She will be alright. She is a fighter. All of you are.” Lexa reassured, her voice soft in a way that Clarke had found reserved for her. Was she jealous? Perhaps a little. Clarke glanced at Echo in Bellamy’s arms and saw she was unconscious again. “Lay her down for a minute. Something’s wrong.” 

Bellamy’s face grew white and he laid her down hastily on the platform surgical table. Clarke tugged off her gloves and tossed them down. She tried to wash her hands but the fire had drained the system. Clarke’s hands ran over Echo’s body, looking for the incision mark, for something that was causing her current state. “Then she saw it, the edge of it, like a pin pressed into her throat. As Clarke withdrew it, Echo drew large gasps of air. They had managed to slide it into her trachea in such a way that transporting her would kill her. They wanted her to die in Bellamy’s arms. 

They were monsters. 

Echo’s eyes flew around the room, wild and wary, as Clarke bandaged her throat. 

“We should get her to Gustus’ island as soon as possible. I’m not sure what else they have done to her.” 

Lexa’s nod was grim. “Clarke, you and I will travel with them. You can note any changes for Gustus.” 

Clarke nodded as she felt Bellamy’s hand close over hers. She glanced up and met his eyes, dark clashed with bright blue as he leaned in, “Thank you Clarke.” 

**_Octavia_**

Lincoln had not wanted her to go, which was not an unreasonable position. After all, she was nearly twenty-nine weeks pregnant and she was now clearly showing. He was nervous and she didn’t blame him. She was admittedly more terrified than she would have liked as well. However, Octavia was not apprehensive because she was concerned for her safety. She was unsure how Lincoln would react to seeing her darker side. Stories were one thing. The reality of it was quite another. The idea of losing his love, of him no longer looking at her with those glorious dark eyes full of mischief, warmth and affection, was devastating. However, the idea of allowing Bellamy to lose the woman he loved while she did nothing was simply untenable.

So she was heading into battle wearing adjusted armour that didn’t quite fit right over her expanding belly, riding the most glorious horse she had ever seen. Lincoln’s people proved their value as they drifted through the woods surrounding much of Sanctum like ghosts. People screamed to see a painted warrior on horseback appear as if brought by mist rising from the ground itself. As they were at a slightly further distance than Anya and Lexa’s people, they arrived to see the battle underway just ahead. 

To Octavia’s mind there was a singular target in the form of the Monster of Sanctum - Roan. Without him and his familial support the system would crash and flounder. Without him, they would have to find another means of surviving or cease to do so. No longer would the brutality of the treatments on unconsenting parties be permitted. She was determined and Lincoln agreed with her. It was time of the people of this world to find a new path to their future or accept that humanity would cease to thrive, at least here. The Eligius IV would carry on and perhaps they would merit more success. Perhaps there were even other worlds out there, inhabited by another variation of humanity. It was an intriguing thought. However, now was not the time to consider such existential questions. 

Octavia shifted in her saddle as she and Lincoln came to a stop at a small rise near the centre of the community. She could see Bellamy outside the treatment building. It made her shudder but she directed her animal toward him. She wanted to know how he was and if she could help him. Then Roan appeared. Honed in on the enemy, she let out a scream that came from a primal part of her soul and kicked her animal into motion. 

Lincoln and the others were not far behind as she bent low over the horse’s neck and urged him onward. People leapt out of her way and she didn’t care. She had one goal and she was determined to see it through. Roan had managed to get ahead of her but she wouldn’t let him get far. Fortunately it seemed Ilian’s people had arrived and the portside town outside Sanctum was now full of people fighting Sanctum as well. It was a gruesome sight but she didn’t really notice. 

Roan had stopped in the centre of a small courtyard. It was probably an inn or something. She was not sure. Roan was flanked by two guards, heavily armed and bulky. Good. Overly muscular men were more for show than a good fight. Anya arrived as Octavia dismounted gracefully. She did the same and nodded an acknowledgement at the petite brunette. They withdrew their swords in unison as if they had practiced a thousand times before rather than for a first meeting in this moment. 

“This is ridiculous,” Roan bellowed at her, “... she’s just some barren slave, you cannot be doing this for her.” Octavia smirked. For all his position this man did not understand people at all. He was pathetic. 

She returned her words in equal volume but there was disdain in her words, just for him, and she could tell it bothered him. “Oh but I am. For my brother. For Echo. For me. For all of us you tortured.” 

“Who the hell are you?” Roan yelled, “You are pregnant. You can’t do this. Go home, you foolish little bitch.” 

Apparently he wasn’t used to being disdained by anyone. Oh well, too bad, she thought in some amusement, it wasn’t going to last much longer. The rest of the world had fallen away, in that perfect quiet of a fight. In this bubble, it was easy. Her life or his and she knew with the certainty of the warrior she had been and still was, that this man was no match for her. 

“I was the Girl Under the Floor. I was Skairipa. I was Blodreina. Now I am just Octavia Blake. She is the one you should really fear because she is going to kill you.” 

She knew these words wouldn’t mean anything to him but it didn’t matter. He still seemed to shudder and flinch backwards. As his guards stepped forward, so did Anya. Two men against the slender Mistress and it was apparently that Anya also felt they were more show than skill. 

Octavia swept past the guards, slicing one in the knee with a downward spin and then rose again in front of Roan. His sword sailed through the air but his movements were obvious and telegraphed long before he made them. So she swirled around him again, jabbing him in the side and making him squeal like a pig as he danced backward. He turned to see the guards’ assistance and found Anya standing over their dead bodies. 

His gaze swept the crowd but Octavia didn’t follow his look. She kept her eyes on the prize - his head. Roan, apparently finding no friendly faces, glanced back down at the petite pregnant woman. “You’re just a slave.” he muttered, as if confused. 

She didn’t bother to reply as she took two steps forward and leapt, her sword embedding itself in his throat. He crumpled to one knee, his hand coming up to wrap around the blade as if to pull it out. Then he jerked as Anya’s sword pierced his back, the blade coming through his chest. Octavia looked up and met Anya’s eyes. They nodded and each tugged their blade free. 

The Monster of Sanctum was no more. 

**_Anya_**

The journey to Gustus’ island was stressful in a way that Anya could never describe and would never wish upon her worst enemy. They had no idea what Roan and his team of medical minstrels had done to her Echo but the girl was clearly injured. Anya was terrified to touch her, afraid even to hold her close for fear of causing further damage. Clarke had found the sliver in Echo’s throat designed to suffocate her on her trip to seek assistance. If the girl hadn’t the wit to notice, Bellamy might have killed his love in an effort to rescue her. Roan was truly a master of inexplicable cruelties.

Fortunately, the one known as Eric Jackson had provided the essentials they would need. Upon Roan’s death, the warriors of Sanctum quickly surrendered. They had feared Roan more than their own death but now that he was gone, they saw no reason to throw their lives away on a lost cause. Ilian’s two men, Eric and Nathan, had stayed behind to help the injured civilians and warriors. Once done with immediate triage and simple care, they would bring the complex cases to Gustus’ clinic to provide further care. 

Bellamy didn’t leave Echo’s side for more than mere minutes the entire journey to the island. She was sure he had not slept or even eaten a full meal since she was taken. It devastated her to see him in this state, further worsened by Roan’s cruelties to him and then, of course, their beloved Echo. It was torment for them both. 

It was at this moment that she understood the depth of the wrong she had done to them. They had agreed to remain while bound to a cage, faced with her rage and surrounded by weapons. Of course they had agreed. Of course they had played along. She was scarcely better than the man they had slain. It was a bitter, ugly and jagged pill to swallow - to confront her own complicity. 

Once on Gustus’ island, the focus became solely about Echo. There were shards of metal buried in her body, in each joint and in her sex organs, each so small that they were barely discernable to the naked eye. That was the least of it. It was several weeks before Echo was sitting up and speaking. Anya’s heart cracked each time Echo flinched away from her, an unconscious terror against any physical contact. Her fierce and beautiful girl had been profoundly injured. 

She was seated outside the ward room and looked up as Gustus entered, “That’s the last of them off. Only Eric and Nathan are left now, aside from you.” her friend explained. Anya nodded and her gaze drifted to the window into Echo’s room. 

“She is improving steadily.” the physician confirmed. 

“Gustus?” Anya’s gaze dropped and flicked up to her friend’s before she continued, “I’m going to need some of that formulation. For the bond severance.” 

“Anya, are you sure?” 

“You are letting yours go, aren’t you?” she replied, not really answering his question. 

“I am but Cassiopeia will remain here.” Gustus acknowledged and she heard the pain of the impending separation. 

“How can you tolerate living with them knowing …” Anya let the question fade. 

“Knowing they are going? Knowing they will eventually come to hate me if they don’t already?” Gustus filled in for her. The Mistress nodded in response but did not speak. “I’m not going to lie. It is the cruelest torture I have ever experienced. I ache for them every day and they don’t even look at me anymore.” 

“May Echo and Bellamy stay here until they go?” Anya whispered. “I don’t think I can bear to watch as they prepare to leave me.” 

“I thought they agreed to stay.” he questioned. 

“I think being bound when they said that kind of vitiates their consent.” Anya replied with a humourless laugh. 

“Yes, they can stay but only if you tell them you are going.” 

“I will.” Anya knew she wouldn’t be able to walk away without saying goodbye anyway. 

She waited until they were seated at the kitchen table. Bellamy was putting together a photo album for Cassiopeia of the family that was about to leave, making notes of history in surprisingly delightful penmanship. It reminded her of the family history he had compiled for her. “That looks lovely.” she complimented and he smiled in response. Echo was sipping tea designed to help with her damaged throat as she ordered the photographs for Bellamy. Echo seemed rather fascinated by baby Cassiopeia and she wondered at times if Echo had spent less time with infants than she did. 

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning.” Anya started and Bellamy only nodded, “I’d better get this finished tonight then.” he said quietly. 

“That won’t be necessary. You aren’t coming with me. Either of you.” she continued. 

The photographs in Echo’s hands tumbled to the table as Bellamy’s gaze flew up to hers. “Because of what happened to me?” Echo asked, her voice still gravelly as her chest and throat were not completely healed. 

“Only in the sense that it made me realize how wrong Roan was and how I was complicit in it.” Anya explained, trying to affect her typical cool demeanour but it was impossible to keep the slight waver from her voice. 

“We agreed to stay. We said we would stay.” Bellamy started, anger in his words now. Strangely she liked the fact that he was prepared to express his emotions to her. It showed he trusted her to bear his anger and that he didn’t fear her response to him having such a justifiable emotion. 

“I had you trapped, quite literally, when you made that pledge. So here is what I am proposing. I am going to take the meds with me that will allow me to endure the severance. You can remain here until you all depart from this moon. Gustus has assured me that his hospitality shall stand and we all know him to be a good man who keeps his word. I want you to think long and hard about where you want to be and what kind of life you want to have, free of these nightmares. If you decide to remain, my door is and will always be open for you. I love you. I can say that without hesitation now, something I can honestly say has never been the case in all my life. I love you enough to let you go. I love you enough to want you to lead your life on your terms. There are people waiting for you, in space, who will miss you and mourn your loss should you wish to stay. You are also free to stay but choose not to be with me. I will petition the newly formed Council on your behalf if so such that you can live in freedom here without being bound to any Master.” 

Bellamy’s hands folded over hers in a quick motion that nearly had Anya jump, “You were not a nightmare.” He opened his mouth again to continue but the Mistress held up her hand, “Be happy. Please. That is all I truly wish for you. To find a place where you belong and are happy.” Then she fled like she never had before, a coward in the face of Echo’s pained gaze and Bellamy’s unspoken words. 

This was the right course of action and she had never hated being right more in her entire life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my chapter for all the ladies to come through and be generally amazing. I really loved this one and I hope you all enjoyed as well. Thank you to my beta reader for her time and energy and letting me smash her heart on the regular with the horrible things I do to my characters. I hope everyone is having a lovely day. Thank you for taking the time to read.


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